I Forsake You
by MillenniumRain
Summary: His hand would be placed on the boys head and his fist would clench mouthing words with meaningless boundaries, "This was your mother."
1. He was a Fool

**_Authors note: I haven't been able to really post much often, since school is beginning soon as well as other activities are taking up that time. I've spent my time pre-writing this story so I could review it and edit it at will, but of course there will be mistakes here and there. _**

**_!Warning! This story is a trip to the past, Levi's past that is. You will begin to realize that this Levi (His kid self) is nothing like present Levi. This is because I am starting from the beginning, so before Levi was even Levi. I will be developing Past Levi into present Levi, with subtle hints. All information beyond my knowledge will have be be made up but it'll all make sense in the end. Call it OOC all you want, as this story progresses you will realize that nothing was OOC to begin with._**

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_"__**Day**__ to-night, dark to__** light**__,_  
_Fall the sands of __**time**__._  
_Let the __**years**__ like the gears_  
_Of a clock __**unwind**_  
_In your mind walk __**through**__ time_  
_Back to __**better days**__..."_

_He remembered the first time they met, his mother had dragged him along to see her friend, she was huddled in a small corner reading a book, the bottom half of her face covered by a thick scarf even though it was warm. It was like looking in a mirror, that's how much she looked like him, even with her hair like a curtain, she looked like him. He thought she was weird. Now he wishes he could change his first thought of her, the first thing his six-year-old self thought of her should have never been, __**She's weird.**__  
_

_He was such a fool._

"Levi, this is Élaine and her daughter, Alais," His mother smiled widely at the woman in front of her. He couldn't help but think how dumb his mother looked doing that, but of course he wouldn't say it out loud, his mother would have his head before he could utter a word.

"Now, Levi, why don't you go say hi to Alais. Mommy and Élaine are going to talk about some big people things," Did she think he was stupid? Grumbling he stuffed his small hands into his pockets, looking at the only other person in the room.

She didn't look at him, he didn't even know if she knew he was there. _She's weird, _huddled in a corner, she was reading a book, the bottom of her face covered in a night black scarf. He scowled, walking up to her, his night black hair the same shade of her own yet her hair was scattered across the floor, like a curtain. Reaching towards her, his petit hands pulled her scarf down, causing her to drop her book in shock.

Grey eyes so similar to his own, stared up at him, as wide as his were. It was as if he were looking in a mirror, at a female version of himself.

"Salut," She greeted him, pushing his hands away from her scarf. When she stood up, he noticed something, they met eye to eye, "Enchanté," She grabbed her book from the floor, the image of an odd machine flashed in his eyes before she tucked it away.

"Do you speak English?" He felt sour, why did she have to look like him? "You know E-N-G-L-I-S-H," He didn't like her, she was too quiet. It felt like he'd have to be inches away from her just to hear her speak.

"I do," She didn't speak English often, her accent was too thick, "Do you speak French? You know F-R-E-N-C-H," She mocked him, her lips curving upwards and eyes twinkling in the slightest.

"Tch," He turned away from her, his face tinting a slight pink, "Of course, I'm not an idiot," Levi peaked a look at her, "My Mother's French, that means I'm French."

She pulled her scarf up, covering her mouth, "You don't look like you know how to speak it," She shuffled her feet slightly, her hands behind her back, "I'll teach you!"

He looked at her like she was crazy. He didn't know why she would want to he always found it pointless to learn French, everyone around them spoke English and not one bothered to speak another language. _She's weird, _he thought again, looking to the ground, his hands once again stuffed inside his pockets. _But everyone else is boring, _he looked up, staring at her, his eyes furrowed, _maybe it wouldn't be too bad._

He nodded his head, deciding that didn't mind it when her eyes twinkled, even if she was weird and looked like him, he didn't mind it at all.

_Of course, in his mind, all good things should start at a young age. Perhaps because you're more new to this world, not witnessing the **horrors** hidden **behind the walls**? Levi personally hated it when something was shoved in his face, no previous warning of it being there. He liked gradual **exposure**. It was one of his many quirks, just like the way he would grow to hate others touching him, or the dirt that littered this world, even **companionship**, because even when those things were gradually brought to his attention, they ate away at his **understanding**. Of what, exactly, is still a mystery, what would one day make him the person he is today, is another story altogether. A story that not one person has ever heard. **This story**. _

_"I'm sorry I thought you were __**weird**__..."_

_"...Cast away your __**old face**_  
_Full of __**gloom**__ and __**spite**__._  
_With this __**mask**__ I will ask_  
_To borrow your __**light**__."_

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**_How was it? Unique or bland? I was going for something different then this idea came to me while listening to a song and wondering what Levi must have faced to become humanities strongest. This is curiosities baby. _**

**_I'm apologizing in advance if school throws me off updating, it's coming up soon. High School isn't kind and never will be._**


	2. He was a Brat

**_Authors note: I like to call chapter one a success, since I'm quite happy with the outcome of it. And if you wanted to know, you pronounce 'Alais' just as you would pronounce 'Alice'. Continuing on, hope you enjoy chapter two._**

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_"What's important is one thing_  
_Having a __**dream**_  
_Just don't turn away your eyes..."_

_He was a brat when he was younger, but that was expected when you lived within the safety of Wall Sina. Thinking back to how he used to act irritated him, he was a brat who had no idea of the outside world yet was already beginning to face it's challenges. When his father wasn't there, he watched his mother fall into turmoil, he didn't understand why she put up with it. Nowadays he just wishes he could take back his words, take it all away._

_He was a brat._

His feet swung back and forth as he sat on his kitchen table, watching his mother walk around the kitchen, almost dancing. She was scattering ingredients together, opening the fridge every once in a while.

His eyebrows furrowed as he bit the inside of his check, annoyed that his mother wasn't paying attention to him. "Mother," He called but she still didn't stop, "He won't come home, he's a shit-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Levi!" She gripped the countertop with her back to him. He was sure she was going to scold him, "You know your father works long and hard for this family!" She lectured him. He sneered, knowing that it was her only defense again his no good father.

"That's not true," He argued back, his hands crossed and a scowl on his baby face, "You know he doesn't care, Mother! You know it but you still don't do anything! He doesn't care! He doesn't! He's a good for nothing **shithead!**" He breathed quicker, sweat beading down his forehead and down his temple as he clenched his teeth.

His mothers shoulders were shaking. _She's crying. _His chest felt painful, like something was lodged inside and didn't want to come out. His gaze dropped to the floor, his eyebrows scrunched together. Levi breathed out, getting down the chair with difficulty.

"I'm...I'm going to go see Alais now," He bit his lip moving towards the door, his hand inches away from the door knob, "G-Goodbye, Mother," He finished quietly, the summer sun hitting his face. He closed the door behind him, that last thing he saw being his mother's tear stained smile.

_She just never listens. _He walked down the busy street, avoiding the surveying eyes of those around him, trying to use his hair as a shield. Turning a corner, he walked along a narrow path, stones littering the ground, a small patch of flowers occasionally in his sight till he came to a large clearing, with a lone figure standing up, looking towards the sun.

The rocks he stepped on crunched beneath his feet, alerting her of his presence. She turned around, the sun hitting her scattered black hair that blended into her night black scarf. He could see the same book she had yesterday, when they met, in her hands. The same book with the odd machine. He vowed to himself, that he would ask her, one day, what that strange machine is.

"Bonjour, Levi," Her voice was muffled by the heavy scarf, "You're late."

Levi, ignoring her statement, walked up to her pulling down the annoying scarf, "The scarf makes you sound stupid," Her eyes twinkled again and Levi mentally smirked in achievement, "And I'm not late, you're early," He clarified, sitting on the blanket she had laid out.

He leaned back with his hands holding him up, staring up at the sky silently. Strange creatures drawing his attention away from the sky and onto them. _They look so free_, he was in awe, his tiny six year old body and mind not knowing what they were but mesmerized anyways. Levi watched as one soared down the sky, landing on the tree beside them, a strange sound emitting, from what he could only guess was its mouth.

"Le matin, j'entends les oiseaux gazouiller dans les arbres," Alais stared at the bird for a second before looking at Levi, him returning the gesture, "Morning brings the sound of birds chirping in the trees," She translated, her hands brushing against the grass, "Those are birds, they have wings that let them fly, and the sound they are making is called chirping. They don't have mouths like you and I, instead they have beaks," How did she know so much?

_I want wings, I want to fly._

"What happened, Levi?" He bit his tongue avoiding her gaze, his hands clenching the fabric of the blanket.

"Nothing," He looked away from the bird, not meeting her eyes instead looking off into the distance, "Just...something stupid."

She giggled softly, shocking him, "It can't be something stupid if you look like you need to take a shit."

His mouth opened, jaw slacked, "I-I do not look like I need to take a shit! You take that back!"

_He would never admit to her that he stole her insult. That day, she broke the path that the people in Wall Sina were dragging him into. At the age of six, he found freedom in a single being who knew more than someone her age should. He found solace in that fact that she didn't pasteurize him, that she distracted him. That day, they ran around that clearing, which grew to be their secret place, a place where they always met and no one ever bothered them in._

_"Because surely __**someday**__, you are_  
_Meant to __**fly**__ in that sky_  
_No matter how many times you __**stumble**__..."_

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**_I'm incorporating Levi's past into this fanfiction a lot, in my perspective anyways. Again, most of the information from this story about Levi's past will have to be made up since not much is given. But I'm not changing anything you already might know, from either watching or reading the manga, even Levi's spinoff manga. Review if you have questions or comments, I'm willing to answer. Updating or being on this sight won't be much of a hassle, since I do have insomnia. This is just something to pass up the time, and since I have a lot of time, be prepared for a lot of updates (That is, if I'm not lazy). Along the way, if you are going to need French translations, feel free to ask me, I can include them in the story if it helps._**

**_Cheers._**


	3. He was an Embarrassing Fool

**_I guess you can say it's been a while, so hi. I'll moderately update as much as I can, since school is just a day away-Gah, people and their germs. You know, it really is a struggle when you face both, insomnia and being a germaphobe- Don't get me started on people touching me -_- My family is being an inconsiderate twat to my cleaning habits and won't keep the house clean for shit, so that leaves me to huddle in my room and wish the dirt away...I'm ranting, aren't I? Anyways, hope you enjoy chapter 3, as 'short' as it may be, and no, I would never make short people jokes, that would just offend myself._**

**_I forgot to do this before so I'll do it now:_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own SnK in anyway, all rights go to Hajime Isayama and his wonderful work. Although I do own any OC's that may cross your path and a small portion of this plot._**

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_"I am supposed to pursue my __**dream**_

_In this__** narrow**__ winding road, _

_stuttering in the crowds of __**people**__..."_

_Every time he caught a glimpse of his hair in the mirror he was brought back to that time, the time where his mother had cut the bottom half of his hair, claiming that it made him cuter and he would stay that way if he stopped scowling. He wouldn't say he was particularly shy, but he was hesitant when it came time for him to learn French with Alais. When thinking about how he behaved it made him scowl._

_He was an embarrassing fool._

Hearing her giggling only made him press harder on the top of his head, trying to shield the bottom half of his hair from her prying eyes, "Stop!" He glowered at her, one hand holding his hair down, while the other pushed her fingers away, "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

She lifted the scarf to her mouth, but he caught the slight upturn of her mouth, "I'm not, I promise, I'm not," She denied it but he clearly saw her smirk at him, not to mention the twinkle in her eye was there.

"Yea," He rolled his eyes, "And I'm as stupid as you," He sarcastically stated his boyish features clouded with annoyance.

"That's not nice," She jumped up off her feet and pushed his hands away, the scarf falling to show the smile on her face. He felt his face heat up, trying to cover it up, "I like it!" He gave her a doubtful look, "I really do! I'm not lying," She fixed her scarf back up, sitting down onto the blanket she laid out.

_How embarrassing, _he watched her look off into the distance, transfixed on what could take her attention away so quickly.

Suddenly she shot up, her small appendages moving quickly, "Hey! Wait for me!" He followed her, not finding it easy to run in a field that only made him want to sneeze.

"What happened?" He looked over her shoulder to find her picking up scraps of paper, a frantic look in her eyes, "Paper?"

"Why would someone make a mess? Sale-dirty," Her eyes were narrowed, eyebrows furrowed so much that he swore her head was going to burst.

"What's wrong with that? it's only a little mess," He didn't understand why she cared so much, to him it was just a tiny bit of dirt in a large area, he didn't know why it would matter to pick it up and put it away but she did that anyway.

"I read in a book that there was something called p-pollution," She stumbled over the word, "It made it harder to breath and ruined a lot of nature, if I don't clean then it'll ruin the magnifique nature."

He saw the determination in her eyes, it was something that shocked him. If he cleaned would that mean that he could preserve the beautiful nature around them? He bit the inside of his cheek, it would mean having to constantly make sure not a speck of dirt littered anywhere he touched or looked, could he do that? Just like she was doing right now?

"Alais," He looked away from her when she caught his gaze, "If I promise to always clean and make sure everything is clean, will that make nature happy?"

She grinned at him, he could tell by the way her eyes crinkled at the corner, "Of course!" She held up her pinky, one hand behind her back while the other shoved in his face. He looked at her in confusion, "It's called a pinky promise, I read about it in the books my grandfather left, you have to lock pinkies with me, it makes sure that not anyone of us breaks our promise. So, what do you say?" She wiggled her pinky, "Pinky promise?"

He crossed his pinky with hers, marveling at how easy it was to make a promise. Looking up he caught her gaze, the unmistakable twinkle back in her eyes.

"Cross my heart, hope to die. Eat a thousand needles if I lie."

_What a stupid promise that was. But no matter how stupid it was he kept it, still to this day he cleans, occasionally the thought of him going too far crossed his mind, but then he was always reminded of her smile when he asked if nature would be happy. She rarely smiled. After that smile she only smiled a total of twelve times and he counted all of them. This was the moment when his first quirk was born, cleaning. And he was thankful for it, because without it he wouldn't be able to clearly see the beauty in this world._

_"It's not that I want to __**return**__ to that __**past**_

_I am just __**searching**__ for the sky I have __**lost**_

_I hope you__** understand**__..."_

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**_That didn't take a while, did it? Welcome back anyways, just want to throw it out there that in real life I'm a mean person who doesn't like people, well those that have crossed my path. So no, I won't know how people act, and often have to go to my cousin for help and also my sister on occasion, this doesn't make me strange, does it? Even if it does people can shove it in their non-existant life force. If you wanted to know, Alais was saying dirty in French which is 'Sale' in case you were wondering what the word sale was doing there._**

**_Cheers._**


	4. He was a 'Flustered' idiot

**_I felt like I shouldn't wait to upload, since I have no excuse. School feels slow and boring and I already had a couple chapters prepared (Thank you, insomnia) so I figured, why not? To me this chapter isn't very long but then again, it's more towards the focus of their childhood (Mainly Levi) yet I don't want you to think that Alais is a minor character, because, in fact, she plays a major role in the development of Levi's character. You can refer to her as a guru of sorts. Again, I don't know a lot about love, except for the minimal things I've read about it to write this story, yet even with not knowing enough I do know that it takes time to develop, which means that the romance won't start, it'll be hinted later on. They are still too young in my opinion (And it's only been-if you count this chapter-four chapters)._**

**_Excuse some mistakes, this was a rushed edit._**

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_"Time stood __**still**_

_the way it did __**before**__..."_

_To him, the next few years were hazy. Constantly he would do the same things, watch his mother, tell her to stop, wait for the father that would never show at their door...then there was Alais. She was still as quiet as ever, but sometimes he found himself learning from her, wishing that he saw the same things she did. Whatever she saw was never boring. One memory would forever be lodged into his mind. He was twelve and she was thirteen, just one year older than him. The snow was softly falling, melting away as it touched the ground, decorations littering the streets. It was the one day he was suppose to despise the most, his birthday._

_His heart fluttered like an idiot._

"Merry Christmas to you all! May the Wall Gods have mercy on all your souls!" Pastor Nick cheered out from where he stood, the clothing he wore resembling the many dresses the woman who walked along the streets wore, as well as adorning three gold colored bands, each with at least one of the symbols of the walls. Which told you one thing, he looked as stupid as always.

"How idiotic," Alais murmured behind her scarf, her eyes never leaving the book in her hands.

"He just doesn't know when to shut up, the stupid idiot," Levi added tucking his glove covered hands into his pocket, a heated glare being thrown at Pastor Nick who still, had yet to stop shouting about the 'almighty' Wall Gods.

Alais sighed, closing her book, tucking it in between her arm and her side pulling her hat further down her head, "I read something new," She confessed snuggling further into her scarf.

"Really?" He looked towards her, white puffs of air leaving his mouth, "What was it about?"

"It was about the people back then," She stopped walking and looked up, lifting her hand up to catch snowflakes, "On Christmas Eve, they would write letters to a man called Santa Claus telling him all about their dreams and wishes. On Christmas day, when they wake up whatever they wished for would be under something called a Christmas tree."

Levi's nose scrunched up in distaste, "That's weird," He would never like the idea of someone sneaking into his home, no matter if they were giving him something he wished for, "Hey...Alais?" She looked at him, and he couldn't help but wonder if his heart was suppose to be pounding this much, "If you could do that-wish for anything and get it, what would you wish for?"

She titled her head to the side, a contemplating look in her eyes almost as if the answer was _right_ in front of her, "Why would I need to wish for anything?" For a second his face fell and he covered it up with a bored look, "I have you," His heart speed up, thumping in his chest so much that he could swear it was going to burst, "I don't need to wish for anything because you're here," Her scarf tilted slightly giving him a front row seat of her rare smile.

"Levi? Are you alright? You're all red," She raised her hand to his forehead. He pushed her hand away, pulling his hat further down his head.

"Tch, of course I'm alright," He muttered, continuing to walk his ears tinting pink, "It's just cold."

"Happy Birthday, Levi!" He pushed the hat further down his face, a barely visible smile curving on his lips.

_Such a __**moron**__._

_His heart ached every time he remembered that moment, every time the snow fell. For the first time he was happy that it was his birthday, and he just couldn't wait to be the first to say, 'Happy Birthday' on hers. She never knew how loud she made his heart thump that day, he didn't know whether to feel thankful or disappointed. Since it wasn't the last time he let it slide, anyways she smile again. Six smiles, and it seemed like only his birthday made her smile. He still couldn't understand why._

_"Won't tell anybody how you turn my world __**around**_  
_I won't tell anyone how your voice is my__** favourite**__ sound."_

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**_I wanted to make this fanfiction as accurate as possible so I did look for Levi's birthday and it is, in fact on Christmas day. I wanted to put it out there that in this story I'm debunking technology to the times where they had huge, bulky cameras that only took pictures in black and white, where you had to physically hold a light (flash) and go under a cover. Since the SnK universe is a time period where civilization was thrown back to a point where technology is almost, non-existent._**

**_And yes, in this fanfiction, Pastor Nick is as crazy as ever._**

**_Cheers._**


	5. He was Brave, He is Brave

**_I like to think that I get bored to easily, and I'm beginning to realize that may be true. I have too much time on my hands, schools boring, I didn't have my tea today so I'm grumpy...I'm not even going to try. Holding a conversation with someone is as worse than these Author notes. Again, sorry if there are mistakes, editing to me, is a chore. One I'd rather spend cleaning (I had to kill a bug, and it decided to bleed on my wall, disgusting bitch). Ignore the vulgar, it's common with me._**

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_"On your birthday,_

_I protected you,_

_I repaid you..."_

_Her birthday was suppose to be a somewhat happy day but every time it crossed his mind it made his face turn in furry. He was lucky his mother had sent him out on some errands or else he would have never been there to protect her. After that he vowed that no one would hurt her, physically or mentally, because he would make sure they couldn't breathe properly. He would make them pay._

_He was braver that day._

"Are you going to cry to your mommy, little girl?" The teenager sneered at her, "'Mommy, the mean teenagers were picking on me, they took my weird book away'," He mocked her but she remained blank faced.

"If you're done," She glowered at him, her short stature intimidating, "I would like you to give me back my book and shut up, your annoying voice makes me want to cringe."

"Come on Andre!" One of the teenagers called out, annoyed that his friend was wasting their time.

"Tch. I know," Andre growled pushing Alais to the floor. Her body hit the floor with a loud smack, her hands scrapping against the ground, "That's where you should be, on the floor, like the dirt you are."

"You're one to talk, you're radiating filth," She murmured, the scarf she wore muffling her voice.

"What did you say, you little bitch!" He raised his hand in the air, fist clenched poised to slam down on her cheek.

"Don't touch her, pouffiasse!" Levi kicked Andre, the force of his kick strong enough to make him stumble to the side.

Said bitch, turned around after he regained his footing a scowl on his face when he saw Levi in front of him. Clearly he thought that Levi was just another stupid kid who didn't know how to mind their own business. Smiling falsely, he pretended to be friendly.

"Run along brat and mind your own business," With the smile still on his face, he brought his hand up trying to pat Levi on the head.

Levi scowled, the force of his glare-something he learned from Alais-could make a grown man cry, "Tsk...brat? What a stupid insult," He gripped the teenagers hand, yanking him down and kneeing him in the stomach, "And don't touch me," He twisted Andre's wrist, turning the older teen around and kicking him away, "You're filthy."

The teen ended up getting slammed into the wall across from them, his groans of pain bouncing off the walls that surrounded them all. Andre's friends, being the cowards they were ran off, not wanting to end up in the same condition that Andre was in. But Levi wasn't finished with him yet.

"She's my bestfriend," He kicked him repeatedly, "You_ try_ to break her," He switched from side kicking him to directly kicking him, "I'll break you," The bottom of his foot constantly slammed into his stomach.

"Disgusting," He turned away from the beaten man, going to Alais' side, scowling when he saw scrapes and cuts littered across her hands and forearms, blood dripping to the ground in a soft rhythm.

"Does it hurt?" She shook her head picking up her fallen book. He sighed, pulling her up and dragging her away. Alais' eyes never left his back, slight admiration twinkling in her eyes, the feeling of care rippling throughout her, never quieting.

"Don't worry," He assured her turning back to look at her, blushing as he caught her staring at him. Willing the blush to go away he pulled a determined look never leaving her gaze as they walked along the mid-day's street, "Je vais vous protéger."

_I'll protect __**you**__._

_It would be hard to understand how he could say such a thing by the way he acts now, but with the girl so similar to himself at his side he didn't need to think twice. This was who he was, this was his surroundings, the life that lead him to who he is now and it was just the beginning. At his very moment he knew he had to be someone who would never think carelessly of life, all life was special. Ironically, just after this moment a hate grew in his heart, the hate for those who ran their mouth, not thinking about the consequences, not thinking about reason. This was just the beginning of Levi Heichou, the Thug, the Corporal, and the boy who grew into a man._

_"I messed up..."_

_"Keep me in your __**heart**__, _

_I'll stay there __**forever**__."_

* * *

**_Did you see what I did there, "Tsk...brat? What a stupid insult." Does it remind you of a certain someone in the future? ^-^ I love the irony. _**

**_I've been contemplating this for a while, would you guys enjoy a chapter written purely in Alais third person, point of view, including the little intros in the end and beginning? I've got some ideas for something like that, just to get to know the character Alais, in a more personal level. Ask away...The faster the better so I can go ahead and write the chapter, although I don't know which chapter it may be, it might be the next one or a couple chapters later. All up to you._**

**_Cheers._**


	6. He was, aw hell

**_So...Business has been slow in the Fanfiction department, not that I care (I really just have nothing to talk about). I find myself thinking that if I don't do these Author notes at the beginning you all are going to think I'm dead. On another note, I've decided without your opinion that I'm going to make a chapter purely on Alais Pov (There may also be some more in the near future if I find it easier to write it in her perspective-still third person though). Of course it is not this chapter, this chapter is a little something that came to me a couple of days ago because we were forced to talk about 'first loves' in English, why? I don't know. I was lost the whole time, blank faced 'cause I had shit to say (In a brief summary, I blatantly told my teacher I would know what love is when the world rebirths dinosaurs from deep within the core. Creative, isn't it?)_**

* * *

_"Does nothing make sense?_

_Welcome to the thing we call life."_

_At the age of sixteen he was introduced to the contact of girls-more so, one girl in particular, one that he unfortunately spent every day with. It was a heart-pounding, knee-weakening moment in his life. And he never wanted it to happen again._

_He was...aw hell. _

"Lets put it here, it's perfect, not too much sun and not too much shade!" Alais exclaimed, gesturing at the perfect spot she found. And it was, just the right amount of shade, yet not an overpowering kind.

"I still think my spot is better," Levi grumbled walking away from his 'perfect' spot. In all honestly, it wasn't. Too much sun shone in the spot he picked, anything could have shriveled up and died there.

Alais snickered grabbing her shovel, glove covered hand waving in the air, a nonchalant sort of way, "Don't be a baby over it." He huffed in denial, grabbing a pair of gloves and placing them over his small, nimble fingers. Crouching down, he grabbed the shovel out of her hands and continued digging after she 'stopped'.

"How deep is this suppose to be, anyways?" He glanced up, his head still downwards, fingers brushing the extra dirt away.

"You know," She thought for a moment, "I have no idea." Puffing his cheeks, Levi stopped digging when he thought it was deep enough. Moving away slightly, he gestured for her to place the object down.

"Where'd you find the flower? I've never seen a black rose before," He fingered the petals, careful not to touch the thorns. Alais glanced at him, a secret soft look in her eye.

"Ah, along the edges of the wall," He looked at her in mild surprise, the walls were hours away, "But it was worth it, it's a pretty flower."

"Uhm, it is," He agreed, "But that doesn't stop you from being an idiot," He added brushing his forehead, feeling trickles of sweat roll down his temples.

Alais looked towards him, head tilted to the side and a slight disgusted look in her eyes, lips curled downwards and eyebrows furrowed.

"Stand still," She commanded, moving towards him, taking off one glove. He kept his eyes on her hand, wary about what she was doing. When her face was millimeters from his face, her shadow loomed over the black rose and as if she finally realized, she shrieked, trying to avoid crushing their newly planted flower. _Their hypothetical baby._

Her body flared, swaying on her tippy toes, the soles of her feet unsteady. Unable to hold her ground she toppled over, "Don't crush me! You'll kill me!" He shrieked as loud as her own shrieks, his hands placed into a giving up position, palms facing her.

"Move out of the-Umff!" With wide eyes he stared at her own wide eyes, both of them not daring to say a word. Not that they could with their faces mushed together, but hey? Anything can happen.

"What the hell, Alais!" He pushed her away, his hands over his mouth, horror stretched across his features. He tried rubbing his mouth but no matter how much he tried, it didn't make things better. _Gah! I feel gross! _

He didn't dare look at her, knowing that if he did he might vomit. He felt bile come up his throat, he gulped thickly and covered his mouth again, his face turning green. _That's inhumane! I feel molested! Ew, is it normal to feel this way? _He peaked a look at her and turned around as quick as he could seeing her in the same state as he was. His heart pounded in his chest.

"D-Don't tell anyone what happened!" He stuttered, eyes frantically moving to see if anyone saw what happen.

"What happened?! Nothing. Uh-huh. N-othing." _He looked so cute flustered. _She rubbed her lips and stood up, not facing him and walking away as fast as she could while still looking normal. _Never again._

_He had no words except, damn you flower._

_"I stopped the screams inside my head..."_

* * *

**_Does anyone else think that Levi is a very awkward child? I mean you're 15-16, you get kissed by a girl and you say you feel gross and that it's inhumane (Well, not really kissed, more like face planted). Sometimes I laugh at Alais' thoughts, she says he looks cute flustered then says never again, you are one confusing girl. Oops, I guess that's my fault, you can't really have an inexperienced person write about love, I don't even believe in it, to a certain extent. I'm not apathetic for no reason. I just don't care for it._**

**_ I have work tomorrow. Wish me luck, auto repairs are tedious._**

**_Cheers._**


	7. He was happy, if just for a moment

**_I feel like, with the amount of chapters I write it can never be healthy. It's gotten to the point where I can finish my homework in under thirty minutes, pristine and proper and then suddenly...Bam! nothing to do for the whole day, so I write. Clearly too much. By the way, Josette, is the name I have decided for Levi's mother. So if you see that, just know it's his mother. I got back from work a while ago, I guess it wasn't that bad but auto shops never smell good, too much gas. Enjoy._**

* * *

_"As your feelings for someone grow __**stronger**__,_

_so does your fear of __**losing**__ them."_

_He carried it everywhere. The little photo that may seem insignificant but to him it was everything. He could stare at it for hours, memorizing her face in his mind, remembering that moment like the back of his hand. In order for their parents to celebrate them becoming teenagers they had forced the two of them to dress up while they set up the camera they had. It was large and bulky, something that he learned use to be as small as your palm._

_He could still feel her hand on his own._

"Come on you two! Closer together or we won't be able to fit you!" His mother smiled widely, something that was almost impossible nowadays. She ducked under the covers and held up the tinkering light.

"Josette's right," Élaine made her way towards her daughter, fixing the bow that pushed sections of her hair behind her. The night black locks had gotten longer, all the way to her knees, "If you don't want to get cut out I suggest you move closer."

"Why do I have to take this photo with her?" Levi scowled while Alais remained blank faced, looking longingly towards her book at the far end of the room, "Why can't you just take it separately?"

Josette appeared from underneath the cover with a frown on her face, sharing a look with Élaine who stood next to her daughter, "Because it's more fun this way," She smacked him on the back of his head with a closed mouth smile, "Now, suck it up son and take it like the man you're becoming."

"Only you two think it's fun," He huffed, moving his hair out of his face. The two mothers shared another look before turning back to the camera, idly chatting about their day, "Man I'm becoming?" He puffed out his cheeks looking at Alais, "I already am a man, don't you think Alais?"

She snapped out of her daze and turned towards him, seemingly confused, "What man? All I see is you, Levi,"

_Was that an insult or... _Remembering what happened just a few days ago, he turned away from her, sticking his hands in his pocket, his ears tinting pink, "Don't say such stupid things, idiot," He scolded her, looking to the ground, "People might think you mean something else."

"Huh?" She murmured trying to get him to look at her. Scowling, she pulled her scarf up hiding the pout that rested on her lips, "Levi? You're suppose to look at people when you talk to them."

"No. I don't," He retorted turning his head further away from hers. No matter how much he tried her face always ended up right in front of his, reminding him of how much she look like him, of course her face had developed and now was more feminine but that didn't help the fact that she wouldn't get it out of his face.

"Levi?" He turned around to snap at her when she suddenly grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to her, "Say cheese."

_She's still holding my hand. _His lips curved into a noticeable smile as he stared at her face, his best friend, his anchor. He placed his head on the side of hers, and for the first time in his life, smiled widely at the camera in front of them, Alais' mother looking at them in shock. Her daughter blushing madly and the boy next to her grinning like a fool.

Her heart swelled in pride at such a wonderful moment in their lives. But when the flash went off so did the smile on her face. _I wonder how these two will turn out? If my decisions will affect them? I hope it wont._

_He would never smile again. The only proof of his past would forever remain by his side. He felt like he could smile at that moment because the hole in his heart had yet to begin. He marveled at how red her face was and how noticeable the smile on his face was, it couldn't be considered a large smile but it would be the only one he ever gave. But that smile would forever live on in a single photo even if the real-life person couldn't even create the slightest of upturns at the corners of his mouth._

_"Smiling makes me feel__** disgusted**__..."_

_"No matter what __**happens**__..._

_some memories can never be __**replaced**__."_

* * *

**_Mothers...sigh. I'm not sure if you can tell/know what the mother is talking about but it'll be explained more so later on, for now it's just foreshadowing, isn't that interesting! No. No it's not. At least not when you have to write it. I love writing an embarrassed Levi, makes me laugh inside. More good stuff coming up. Review all you want._**

**_Cheers._**


	8. His first taste of Loneliness

**_It's unbelievable how annoyed I am, this world is so tedious. I go to work, earn money, expect to be able to have money peacefully. You know what happens? My mother decides to take my money, claiming that she found it (It was in my room for clean-sake). I say, "Okay, then give it to me". She goes and says it's in the car, next day, come home from school, "Because you kept your money with me, I spent it." -_- What the bloody shit, is that really your excuse? The thing that sets me off is that she says she bought something useful with it, towels. In what world is that useful, I wanted to save that money, but she goes and buy towels that are going to be dirt infested. I was going to put that money to good use, cleaning supplies. Enough said._**

* * *

_"How many times have you heard me __**cry**__**out**__?_

_How many times have you given me __**strength**__?_

_I want to believe in __**something**__."_

_He had never heard of a titan. That is, until Alais told him of them. Of course he knew who the survey corps were at the time but he didn't care about what they did. He was one of the many fools who thought they were safe behind the walls that were built so long ago. He stopped believing that along time ago. He was sixteen when he finally thought that something wasn't right anymore, his mother looked more wary, Alais' mother looked more strained and Alais herself was spending less and less time outside-less time with him._

_His first taste of loneliness._

"Levi?" Her head peaked from behind the door, squinting her eyes against the sunlight, "What are you doing here, Levi?"

"You haven't been talking to me in a long time, Alais," He crossed his hands over his chest. Alais rubbed the back of her head as she pulled her scarf up. Opening the door wider she stepped outside and closed the door soundlessly.

"It's only been a week Levi," She yawned rubbing one of her eyes, causing the boy-my bad, teenager in front of her to huff, "It hasn't been that long."

"Whatever, idiot," He paused, looking around for anyone before lashing out and grabbing her hand, running across the street.

He passed a familiar walkway littered in stones, the once blooming flowers withering overtime. His feet pounded against the ground, years of running this same path frolicking in his mind. He had become more active over the years, his lungs which once use to burn from running in the slightest felt at ease. He didn't have to look at Alais to know that she wouldn't feel the slightest bit tired.

He flopped down on a worn out blanket, the same one they had sat on ever since they were six. He tugged Alais down with him, a glare on his face while Alais stared at her hands. _Her book. _He grumbled, shifting so he would be more comfortable, yanking on the back of Alais' scarf bringing them face to face.

"Tell me," He demanded daring to look into her vacant grey eyes. He had yet to release her, the grip on her scarf only tightening when she shifted uncomfortably with the position she was in.

"Tell you what?" She countered softly, distracted by the leaf behind him falling to the ground, a golden hue. Autumn.

Irritated, he removed his hand from her scarf, instead holding her face in his hands making sure she wasn't getting distracted, the fabric of her scarf touching his palms. He ignored the fuzzy feeling that coursed through his veins when she seemed to lean into his touch, reminding himself that he was annoyed.

"You're making that face again," Alais commented, her pointer fingers touching against the corner of his mouth smoothing out the frown.

"This is my everyday face," He retorted irritably staring at the fingers prodding at the corners of his mouth.

"Then your everyday face looks like you're constipated," She moved her fingers from his mouth to his eyebrows, smoothing out their crinkled form.

"No they-Just-Why have you been avoiding me?" Levi spat out pushing her hands away from him, his own hands falling to his lap. She moved closer to him, her palms flat against the ground. Her face fell slightly, her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Levi?" She murmured lifting her head up, her scarf falling slightly to show the bottom half of her face, "Have you ever heard of titans?"

He shook his head and she sighed, "If I tell you, promise you won't tell my mère," He nodded not knowing why he would tell her mother, "The titan's are a dreadful race of humanoid giants who appeared on this world over 100 years ago, they caused the human population to dramatically fall," Her voice became quieter, "It started year 728 and it's still going on," She rubbed her thumb, "They eat human flesh for unknown reasons, Levi."

By the time she finished his eyes were focused on her own, watching the display of- something-flash in her eye, "Did you read this from another book?"

She clenched her fists, "Hehe. You got me, I did," She lied easily, "But it's true, that's why these walls were built, to keep them out and us in."

He tilted his head slightly, "Well then, you shouldn't be worried over something like that if we're safe inside these walls."

Her body froze, head lashing upwards as her hands used his thighs to balance her body. Pausing, she glanced warily around the clearing. He didn't know why she was acting like this, she had never been this frantic before, she was the most calm and collected of the two.

"You don't get it Levi. The titans they're-"

_She collapsed in his arms that day. He never did find out what she was trying to say. 'The titans they're-' they're what? he wanted to ask. Over the course of the next few days he would visit her home, demanding to see her but her mother kept him away. He grew angry, she was his friend, bestfriend, heck she was his childhood friend yet he couldn't even know if she was well. She collapsed, collapsed in his arms, didn't he have a right to see her?_

_"I made a promise and I don't intend to break it..."_

_"I can't __**breathe**__._

_You're __**addictive**__._

_I'm slowly __**freaking out**__."_

* * *

**_Ah, I like to think that this chapter has taken away my anger. I might have put it on fictional characters, but what better way than that? Tomorrow I'm going through the one thing all high schoolers can't stand (At least I can't, every photo looks like crap), Picture day. My I.D. is probably going to haunt me all year._**

Blah.

_**Cheers.**_


	9. He felt tortured

**_Today was an okay day...I guess. I'm sure my eye twitched when she took the photo though, plus she made me smile (When I say made, I mean made I had no choice). I had to give the most strained smile and my eye twitched, I probably looked like a lunatic -_- At least I could scare anyone with my I.D. photo now. Anddd, to all those who reviewed, it's nice to know that someone is reading and enjoys my story. I will continue on for you, plus I like this fanfiction._**

* * *

_"I only dream of you,_

_you're a beautiful nightmare_

_and no one can wake me from you."_

_He had a horrible dream, no-nightmare. It haunts him, still to this day but the very first time he had this nightmare burned itself into his mind, causing a scar that would never go away. He didn't know what more he could do but live with it, live with the nightmare that just couldn't leave him alone. Why must he be tortured this way? He'd rather face a millennium of physical torture than relive that nightmare over and over again, every single time he closed his eyes._

_Stop torturing me._

Smoke invaded his lungs. He coughed violently, his body lurching forwards as he shielded his mouth and nose trying as hard as he could to not breath it in. His eyes stung but he forced himself to keep them open.

"Mother?!" He called out running towards the living room. He searched every inch of his home, smoke sneaking its way around him even though there was no fire, "What's going on?" He hoped to get a response but silence answered him back. He hissed as his eyes watered, rubbing them heavily. Spinning on his heel, he was about to run to his mothers room when something caught his eye.

Turning in the opposite direction he reached his hands over blindly. Coughing once more, he glanced at the piece of paper in his hand.

_I'm sorry, Levi. I just can't this anymore. -Mother_

His hands shook in silent rage, blood pulsing throughout his body violently. She had left him alone, just like his father had. Why was she so weak? He gritted his teeth, running towards the exit of his house crossing the street.

He ran quickly despite his short stature, adrenaline fueling his every move. The smoke seemed to get heavier, thicker, as he near her house and feeling of dread passed through him but he shoved it away. He ran his hands through his hair, breathing deeply as sweat dripped down his chin. Levi bent down slightly resting his hands on his thighs in exhaustion unable to stand the heat.

Sucking in a large intake of air, he stood straighter swinging his body on an angle, turning the corner. He used his hands to guide him, his palms flat against stone structures till a large gush of heat had him stepping back, shielding his eyes as he winced in pain.

"Alais? What happened? Why are you dirty? You never let yourself be dirty," Her back was facing him, the smoke becoming more consistent. Her arms were swinging, back and forth, the same scarf she always wore swaying in the wind. She didn't answer. She just stood still her arms swinging in a silent rhythm, "Alais?"

"Levi?" She murmured and he breathed in relief. Stretching out his hand he made his way towards her, but his feet weren't moving, "Help me, Levi." She turned around, her white dress ruffling giving him a clear view of what was in front of her.

"Alais," He tried to find his voice, pitifully reaching out towards her. All at once, a flare of red and orange engulfed her body, swallowing her whole, chewing her and spitting her out as if she were tainted, "God no." His body jerked forward, eyes wide and hands stretched out as if his fingertips could graze her figure. Without a second thought, he raced off towards the flames, her burning body still standing upright beckoning him over, telling him that she was alright.

Every step he took to reach her only seemed to make her grow farther apart, her figure completely engulfed and charcoaled. Levi ran, ran faster than he had ever thought he could, burning his lungs in the process. But he never caught her, not once and that same silent call resounded in his head. _Levi? Help me, Levi. _

_Was this sane? To dream of a girl who he gave everything to. He did his best, everyday, trying to keep busy. He distracted himself often, his cleaning habits dramatically increasing only with time. He couldn't let go, it was like an addiction, no matter how much he hated this nightmare he couldn't help but feel obliged to let it torture him. He was never scared when he closed his eyes, now, all he did was live with it. No one held dominance. He would do anything to avoid the ghost of __**her**__._

_"Nightmares can come to life as much as dreams can."_

_"The word 'distraught' does not begin _

_to describe how my heart has been."_

* * *

**_No idea what to say really. How was it? If you aren't sure this is a nightmare so no, it did not actually happen, that would be stupid (I think). You are welcome to review while I bask in the glory of said reviews while internally crying because I have assignments and tests due tomorrow. Feel special._**

_**Cheers.**_


	10. She has a Fear

**_This is the long awaited-On my part-Third person chapter directed on Alais. I did this so you would get more of a clearer sense on Alais' character since she impacts Levi's past the most. There is something you really have to pay attention with about her character, if you pick it up review about it but if you don't, don't worry. Just so you all know, I'm going to make more of these. If you don't pick it up then you will eventually. It'll actually be surprising if you don't pick it up. Oh well. _**

* * *

_"They have promised that dreams can come true._

_But forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams too..." -Oscar Wilde_

_In a short life-time only one thing scared her. No, she wouldn't say it-she wouldn't breathe a word of it. But between you and I it had always been if Levi would grow to hate her, or if he even liked her to begin with, if her fears were true, she didn't want to come to terms with it. If she did, seeing him from afar would be enough._

_She has a fear._

Across the street from the young boy who was pledge with a nightmare rests a young girl, older than him by just a year. Instead of turning in her sleep, she was still, unbearably so. Her hands drawn together, her body curled into itself.

Inside of her nightmare, her thoughts ran wild. Inventions of all sizes and shapes, once hidden from all danced around her, taunting her instead of giving her a warm feeling of accomplishment. Even when one slammed into her, mocking words being released from its metal mouth, she stood tall the only sign of it ever affecting her was her grimace.

"Your words mean nothing! You're are mine! I made you!" Her voice raised over the rest as they fell silent. Their mouths, metal and polished gleamed when they grinned eerily at her. Biting her thumb, she felt the smallest of them all come behind her, sitting on her shoulder, it's golden colour above the rest.

"You're right," It murmured in her ear, "You rule them all, but they don't believe you anymore," It began to chuckle, its mouth stretching to present sharp rows of pearling white teeth, "You let him in, you let him take control of you. You're weak."

"Take it back," She crushed the creature between her grip, "Or I'll kill you."

"Ha~!" The creature spluttered, the others around him dancing in a circle, "You'd do anything for that slimy brat! Even if it killed you!" He struggled within her grasp, heavy gasps leaving his metal mouth, his engine running dry.

She began chuckling, a cackle leaving her lips as they curled purely on one side, "And I'd kill if I have to!" The others around them stopped, bumping into each other as they did. Each with wide eyes, turned their prosthetic heads towards her screeching in despair.

"With all do respect, Master," The invention in her hand spluttered, motor oil dripping down the side of it's mouth, "You'll lose us, don't go to him."

She stopped laughing, her body still and stiff. They can't leave her, if he's not there she won't have anyone. In reality she was a scared and lonely girl, craving for the companionship her mother tried so hard to get rid of and her father died trying to hide her from. Her lips parted, scarf flying in the wind behind her, disappearing into an abyss. This little creature in front of her, the first of many, it was...convincing. Something she created, something that had its own thoughts, knew what was right and what was wrong, this little crazy tool. It made sense now.

"Alais?" A child Levi danced around her, stopping to smile brightly at her, "Do you wanna play, Alais?" He jumped towards her, hands behind his back, "I wanna play," He held out a small nimble hand, giving her an closed-eyed smile, "It's your turn to pick today, Alais."

_My. _She held her breath, the hand that didn't hold the creature reaching out ever so slowly. _My...turn? _Her lips twitched in the slightest. _Is it now? I forgot..._

"NO!" The golden tool in her hand screeched, "Don't you see! He hates you! He always has! Even if he doesn't he will! You'll make him hate you in the end!"

Something pulsed inside her. Her hand stopped moving towards him, eyes pouring out horror when his smile twisted into a sneer.

"You killer," His hissed glaring at her, "You murderer." She stumbled back, the golden tool in her hand cackling as she kept choking it.

"You're lying" She tried to put on a smile, "Stop lying, Levi." She reached her hand towards the young Levi. She wanted him to smile. _Turn that frown upside down._

"You did it!" He ranted a dark shadow growing behind him, "No remorse!" He called out, "No going back!" He confirmed. "It'll all go away," He rehearsed. "First step!" He announced. "You are not you!" He persuaded. "Second Step!" He went on. "Ashes to ashes."

"They'll all burn by then."

_She woke up coughing and spluttering blood. She called for her mother who brought a wash cloth and bucket, but nothing stopped it. She was left weak and pale, thin to the bone and hollow inside. She felt as if she were corrupted, like it had taken over-her paranoia. Never, he would never hate her. She would do anything for him. __**Anything.**_

_"Touch him and I'll __**kill**__ you."_

_"And now,_

_I'll do what's best for me."_

* * *

**_I just love Alais' character. More into the story, you'll realize how hostile she can be when it comes to others since she does live a very sheltered life. Anyone wonder what's wrong with Alais? Hehe~ I love suspense. I'm not sure how long the story is going to be at this point but from what I can tell it may reach into the 30's or late 20's for chapters. _**

**_Cheers._**


	11. Fate is horrible

**__****_I'm not going to admit about going too far (I think I made Alais a little too coo-coo) This chapter does reveal a little bit more about the life Alais lives and how life will inevitable turn out for her (Though not much, I'm saving that for the next chapter). I am aware that Levi was trained by Kenny Ackerman (Taken in by him if you may). You can say this is why I didn't reveal his last name as well as Alais' because once it is revealed you'll be shocked (At least surprised). When I do reveal the whole 'last name conspiracy' it might become AU, but only for that since I'm making it up. If you are wondering, yes, Kenny Ackerman will be making an appearance soon._**

* * *

_"S'evader."_

_He was relentless. Even after being told to leave her alone he still kept trying, even with a nightmare looming over his shoulder every time he breathed. He was getting more and more agitated. His mother noticed and tried to tell him that it would be best if he didn't go, but he wasn't one to give up. Just a few days before he turned seventeen he got his wish. Yet he would lose something greater._

_How horrible you are, fate._

"Levi, for the last time, it's best if you stop. Alais isn't well enough for visitors," Élaine repeated tiredly leaning against the frame of her door, eyes staring down at the short man in front of her. She remembered the sight of her daughter coughing up blood and cringed, "It's best if you leave her alone now, she shouldn't have to worry about you."

He stood his ground, his feet planted on the ground and a scowl on his face, "I want to see, Alais."

"Levi, it's best if-" He threw her a furious glare, something that made her flinch back and clench her fists. She mulled over her thoughts, her daughter clouding her vision, yet the man in front of her who had been by her daughters side for most of her life, wouldn't stop at a simple no.

"I want to see, Alais," He repeated, eyebrows drawn downwards and hands placed in his pockets, "Three months, Élaine, three months is long enough. I should be able to see her but your shitty rules get in the way. Wouldn't it make sense for her childhood friend to know what's wrong with her? All you're being is selfish, locking her away," Levi snarled eyes blazing in furry.

"I-" Élaine opened her mouth, a silent utter escaping her lips, but the rest of the sentence lost in her thoughts. Confusing pooling over her mind, drowning her. _Selfish? _She gritted her teeth refusing to believe that she was being selfish, that the boy just didn't know. _He's not going to give up, perhaps she'll know better. _Élaine sighed, stepping away from the door frame, watching the short statured man walk into her house and towards her daughters bedroom, a frown etched onto her features refusing to disappear.

"Finally, you old croon," Levi murmured avoiding every other inch of the house and following the hallway to the narrow stairs and traveling up them. The floorboards creaked beneath him as he turned a corner, facing a single door painted solid black, the same colour of her scarf. Without bothering to knock or alert her of his presence, he opened the door.

Turning his head slightly he caught sight of a single figure, clutching onto a book for dear life as she laid on her bed, the solid black scarf scattered around her, yet still managed to shield the bottom half of her face. She shifted in her position giving him a clear look at her pale face, colour completely drained from her features.

As if she knew he was there her head shot up, curtains of black hair pooling around her as her head whipping around a dull twinkle in her eyes, "Levi?" She muttered rubbing her eye, "Mother let you in?"

Levi snorted, plopping down onto her bed, one leg crossed over the other, "No," She tilted her head to the side, "I let myself in she just finally stopped blabbering."

"Ah," She shuffled closer to him clutching one hand around the blanket while the other held her book close to her chest, "That's mother for you," She peaked at him, "Don't take it to heart, I'm sure she's just worried."

"She's annoying," He bluntly replied closing his eyes and breathed deeply feeling her shuffle closer to him.

She hummed in agreement, "She is at times," She placed her book down on her lap. He shifted uncomfortably clenching the bedding in his fists.

"How'd you get sick?" Her hands froze where they laid as she turned towards him slowly, agonizingly so, "You're not overly stupid, you wouldn't get sick easily. You're too clean for that."

"My mother," She started off silently, "She decided to one day bring in a new type of flower into our home, I had a reaction to it is all," Her posture was slumped and her hands gripped to top of her book.

Just as he was about to open his mouth she placed her book in his hands. His eyes narrowed at the cover, the unknown object plastered on it teasing him. Cautiously, he raised the book in his hands not daring to open it and instead peered into her steel gray eyes, "What are you doing?"

"Secret," She murmured, "-I want to tell you." She never looked away from his piercing gaze, for the first time in a long time, she stared at him. Waiting for him to speak.

"Alais," Her heart was beating fast, "Just tell me you idiot," Behind the scarf the corners of her lips twitched upwards, eyes softening.

"Do you remember when I told you about the birds in the sky?" She didn't wait for him to answer, "Humans long ago, created this contraption," She pointed at the cover of the book, "To be free, to fly just as the birds could. Je suis libre, I am free. The recon corps use the symbol of a coat of arms, adorning wings just for this reason. They strive to be free, for us to be free," She clenched her teeth, "I'm not telling you to risk your life to fight the titans, but be free and never let anyone hold you down, not even me. This world is a slap in the face, but these walls are telling us to close our eyes, to be worry free."

Her hands, warm and clammy intertwined with his own, a type of reassurance. He didn't know her fears, he didn't know her dreams, he didn't know what was behind that mirage.

"Never open that book," She clenched his hand tighter sweat rolling down her face, "At least," She added seeing his eyes narrow, "Not now, you'll know when it's the right time." She seemed so sure of herself, but then again, she was Alais, the quiet girl who had a foul mouth at times. She never yelled, never cried, never begged, only lived.

"Do I have to promise?" He questioned lightheartedly. A blissful upturn of her mouth was invisible to him.

"Only if you want to." Reluctantly, a voice in the back of his head edged him forward. Lifting the hand that wasn't grasped he stuck up his pinky, something that wasn't common for them since their only ever promise was all those years ago.

"Pinky Promise?" She nodded lifting her pinky up and intertwining it with his own. Her small hands frail and breakable in his grasp, made him realize how sick she was. He tightened his hand around her own. All she did was stare at him while their pinkies interlocked where they were.

"Levi?" He nodded and she untangled his hand from her own, placing her hand on his cheek their pinkies locked, "Forever?"

His fingers grazed her cheek, "Forever."

She pulled down her scarf, smiling at him. A wide smile, childish joy pouring into every crevasse nothing he had ever seen before, nothing he had ever witness her give him, her happiness, "That's a relief."

_Idiot. He was a fucking idiot. A fool. A damned fool. But I'll tell you something, he's hers forever. Who he is now, and what he was then can never be compared. Can never return. She unfolded him and he unfolded her, but he never knew her. He was blinded. They ran out of words. Communication lost, never to be found again. This is just too confusing. In a deep part within himself he didn't want to hear her say, 'That's a relief' he wanted to hear her deepest secrets, the real reason she was sick. Slowly he was sinking, and soon he would be reminded why he hated birthdays._

_"I don't want to fall in __**love**__,_

_If you don't want to__** try**_

_because all that I've been__** thinking**__ off_

_is maybe that you __**might**__..."_

* * *

**___S'evader = Escape_**

**___Je suis libre = I am free_**

**_Once again (Droning this out if I haven't already) this story is foul words wrapped in a gift basket. I hope you did enjoy this chapter, which of course you wouldn't have because I just majorly fucked up their relationship. You should at least thank me for the ending though, pinky promises are always so cute. I hope you're getting what I'm hinting (Major shit is about to go down soon). Kenny the bitch is coming soon so prepare yourselves. Even though he does come after Levi leaves his past. It's going to be tricky because apparently in the SnK world everyone loves the last name Ackerman._**

**_Cheers._**


	12. She was Detached

**_I feel like there's a certain fatality to the relationship that both Levi and Alais have, is it only me? It's not that fact that it's holding on by a string, but more like Alais is constantly trying to defy fate and fate's saying, "Bitch please." You'll see what I mean more in this chapter. I get the sense that since they were children, their friendship was easy, but you know the saying, "As you grow so do the people around you." Hehe, Alais will never understand. I'm going to start putting up these warnings about OOCness and mary-sue, not because I'm not confident in my work, but it's that the present Levi is coming soon as well as an adult Alais. By the way, if you hadn't noticed, Alais is being a little Yandere-okay, so maybe not a little. I feel like I'll be able to make the character Alais strive only because of her loyalty to Levi. Opinions?_**

* * *

_"I_

_**Pleaded**__,_

_**Whispered**__,_

_**Hinted**__,_

_You had your chance."_

_Her mother became more demanding of the time she spent, leaving her deprived of her joy, Levi. Her only friend seemed so close, yet with her mother at her side, he seemed too far out of her reach. Alais knew the plan, she knew the path that life inevitably choose for her so she didn't complain. Alais just wished to be treated like a child, be able to think like a child. Her experiments weren't keeping her entertained, that was Levi's job, but he was absent, he was on leave-vacation._

_She was detached._

"Levi?" This was one of the few moments she could or would be able to spend with her level headed, quick tempered friend, "If you had to run away and you could only take one thing, what would it be?"

She leaned her head back against the large willow tree, staring up into the blooming leaves that bristled in the wind. Her head was pounding, thoughts circulating more than she wanted them to, sometimes she just wished she had a chance to be normal-to think normally.

"A dust pan," He deadpanned, brushing his hair away from his eyes, "This world is filthy," His voice rumbled as he plopped down onto the blood red blanket.

Her mouth opened, lips curving downwards, it could have been evident to everyone but him that her eyes glimmered in sadness. Resting her head on her palm, she gazed across the clearing in an unknown train of thought. _How disappointing..._They fell into silence, something that was happening more often as they grew, it just seemed like they had nothing to talk about anymore. Alais rubbed her thumb across her bottom lip knowing exactly why, but not wanting to come into terms with it.

"Ah," She released a breath and rubbed her left eye, "But what if it was something different-A different scenario, what if someone left you that you were close to, what would you do?"

"There are much better things to worry about than someone who leaves me," He grumbled, his mood dwindling and she knew it wouldn't be long before he would fall asleep, leaving her. _How ironic. _

"Would you keep them in your heart?" She gripped her scarf, pulling it further up her head to cover her eyes. Drawing her knees to her chest, she took slow and steady breathes.

"No." It felt like a needle had been imprinted into her heart, she could no longer feel it pump blood to the rest of her body, she felt useless.

"You wouldn't believe that they are always there, just walking behind you?" She bit her lip, waiting for his answer.

She could hear him groan in annoyance, his forearm, she guessed, was probably over his eyes, "I don't know, Alais! Why does this even matter?"

She closed her eyes tightly, "No reason, just spewing nonsense...Levi?" She never moved her head, shielding herself from him, hoping to be lost to this world.

He made a noise at the back of his throat, signaling her to continue. And so she did, uneasily, more than she had ever been in her life because at age 18 she didn't know what to do.

"In the future can you promise me something?" He said no word, but she didn't expect him to, she wasn't finished, "Never leave me. I'm a very selfish girl, Levi. No matter what I do, no matter how big my ego might be, never leave me and I'll try not to leave you."

Once she finished she could hear the silent, deep intakes of breath and almost cried out in rage, he was asleep. He didn't listen, she was waving the flag constantly. Her hope in him came crashing down, while she relied on her intelligence, she often realized his strength was what he relied on, he would never notice. She stood up on shaking feet, turning to face the willow tree. Her fingers tracing the engravings in the wood delicately.

_L + A ~Forever_

"You are the one good thing I have," Her lip trembled, "But you can't see that, can you?" Her body shook as she walked away, her hand covering her eyes.

Not in a billion years did she think her heart could break that much.

_Her rage that day was taken out on her room. When she was done her room was reduced to a mess of junk and debris. It angered her, the mess that clouded her vision, dirt had always been something she was attentive of, but now her vision was shrouded in it, she was dirt, the world was dirt. She wanted it gone, so she set it on fire._

_"You're the cause and the solution."_

_"If I burn-_

_If I burn someone I love,_

_Am I evil?"_

* * *

**_Muahhaha_****_!~ See what I did there, it was the whole 'nightmares do come to life'. If you don't know what I am referencing to then you are lost. I feel sorry for you. What do you think the plan for Alais is? And her mother's involvement? I feel bad that I made a reference to when Levi's squad gets killed. "...they are always there, just walking behind you." I could cry right now. I feel giddy because once it gets into the present Levi, this quote will make an appearance. Fufufufufu~ I feel like a child._**

The ages are this if you didn't know:

Levi: 17

Alais: 18

**_Cheers._**


	13. Damn you all

_**I feel like I'm going to burst into tears halfway through this chapter. R.I.P. Past Levi. You will forever live on in my heart. **  
_

_**Thanks to Kairi-Ichimaru15, ravenandawritingdesk99 (If you're name is about what I'm thinking it is then I love your name), Killuka and Quiet Harmony-chan for the reviews I couldn't thank you for.**_

_****__**ravenandawritingdesk99 : Trust me, if you think Alais is amazing now (No words to describe her) you are going to be mentally confused soon. Alais is a very complex character, the only thing you can really understand from her is her undoubtable loyalty to Levi. I can honestly say it's to the point of her being borderline Yandere. I like to say that she is also a almost exact replica of L, since she will have traits similar to him (The adult her more than the past Alais).**_

_****__****__**Kairi-Ichimaru15: I do love writing Levi with a crush. Also, thank you very much for loving the chapter. **_

_****__****__****__**Killuka: How far along are you? ^-^**_

_****__****__****__****__**Quiet Harmony-chan: It's nice to know that someone pays attention to the French dialog in this story. I don't know how you feel about French, but I feel your pain. I just finished taking French. I went through with it for at least five years (Mentally exhausted).**_

* * *

_"Because of you my life has a purpose, _

_you helped me be who I am today,_

_I see myself in every word you say..."_

_Was it possible for a nightmare to become reality? I feel obliged to tell you that it's possible, that sometimes nightmares are the world warning you, telling you that you have a chance. You have a chance to change that nightmare. His nightmare was something he couldn't run away from, that he couldn't stop, but he didn't blame himself, no, he blamed others but he had a valid reason to. Those who were meant to protect those inside the walls couldn't protect-_

_Damn you all._

_I'm sorry, Levi. Throughout this all, I hoped I could be strong, be strong for you. I just wanted to hear you call me 'Mommy' or 'Mom' just once, but my selfishness is getting in the way. Above all, I wanted you to know what it's like to receive love from a father, a male figure in your life but you were deprived of that, weren't you? I married a horrible, uncaring man, but at least he gave me you. -Mother_

The hand that gripped the piece of paper clenched in rage. Gritting his teeth he could feel the familiarity between his nightmare and the scenario before him. His breathing grew deeper as his eyes wandered around the house. _I didn't hear her. _

His blood began to run cold, _fire, _he remembered the fire that burned Alais' house down _burned her. _Gritting his teeth, he ran towards the exit of his house, traveling across the street. Just like his nightmare, he ran with all his might adrenaline coursing through him. Unlike his nightmare, snow coated the ground he walked on, _his birthday. _

One hand gripped the side of his head while the other tried to use the buildings around him as a guide, the falling snow getting thicker the more he ran. He shivered, wind brushing against his skin his body falling slightly in exhaustion.

"Alright men! Let's get a move on, there's nothing more we can do here," Levi's head snapped upwards, his gaze being met with the emblem of roses. He brushed his hair away from his eyes and ran to the nearest one he could reach, which happened to be the one that yelled out the command.

"What happened?" His unsteady gaze caught ashes blowing in the wind, "Tell me you useless shit!" He yelled out when the man only looked at him with pity. Sighing sadly, the man bent down slightly to reach his height light brown eyes looking at him hesitantly.

"There was a fire," He ruffled his scruffy blond hair, "Did you know the people who lived here?"

He refused to be weak, pitied by the man in front of him. Acting as if he were sorry, it only made him fume in anger. _Their part of the Garrison. _He shifted his gaze to the rubble of a house. _Weren't they suppose to do something? yet they did nothing. _His mind chanted that the Garrison were at fault, that Alais and Élaine died in vain, that they died for no reason.

Not hearing the young man in front of him not respond made him sigh, "Élaine and Alais," He didn't stop speaking when the teen stiffened, "Time of death, December 25th at approximately 12:54 p.m. Both bodies unable to be recovered as they were reduced to ashes."

Levi shut his eyes stepping away from the man in front of him, his bare feet imprinting itself onto the ground, "I'm sorry, son. We tried all we could."

The man stretched out his hand, about to place it on Levi's head. Clenching his fists, Levi slapped away the man's hand, anger pulsating throughout his body.

"Shut up!" He hissed, giving him a glare that could make anyone shrivel in fear, "You didn't! You didn't try everything you could because all you Military police and Garrison do is sit on your ass and do nothing! Nothing at all!"

"Hannes! Stop bothering yourself with that kid!" Hannes looked up towards the sound of the voice and nodded hesitantly. As he walked away, brushing by the furious Levi he stopped.

"Sorry, Kid."

_He knew this wasn't the end, but he had no where to begin again. He felt empty, like something died inside him. His mother, __Élaine, and even Alais left him in the end. He needed to get away. He felt like no one, as if his past self were erased. Even while he felt erased his mind was engraved with the thoughts of his past. His mother grinning down at him, pinching his cheeks, Élaine's kindness, and Alais...Alais, who had made him who he was. His path seemed hazy from there on out, but he knew one thing, he would never forget her or anyone for that matter._

_"I want back what you took from me, my heart."_

_"Tell me where__** love**__ goes when it's __**gone**__,_

_Tell me where __**hearts**__ go when they go __**wrong**__."_

* * *

**_Nope, nuh huh. I'm not crying. I have to move on...Damn...It's too hard..._**

Reluctant.

**_Cheers._**


	14. Circumstances one faces

**_Sometimes I find myself believing that I update too much for my own good-that I should just bury my head deep in homework, but what fun is that? I'd rather clean, that's something productive. But anywho, we'll save my conflicting problems for later and get on with the chapter. Kenny the bitch (As I like to put it) makes his appearance (Sadly) but don't worry he'll only be there for a little while (Sadly-again-he'll have to be brought back). I like to think of this chapter as an introduction to the adolescent Levi, his feelings and his surrounding, which, inevitably will be worse. He did go from being at the top to being 'scum' so he will have difficulty adjusting, although that will be shown more in the next chapter then this. Don't worry if you think nothing is developing and that I'm a twat for killing off everyone in Levi's past, because this won't be a (relatively) short fanfiction. I'm starting to think it's starting to go into the thirties, so be prepared._**

___****__**ravenandawritingdesk99: Trust me when I say you're not the only one wanting to rip your hair out. I was practically forcing myself to write that chapter, constantly chanting that it is for the development of the story-that all will be better soon. -_- My brain and I clearly don't see eye to eye. In regards to her being an almost L, it will be great to write. I've always found myself fascinated by L (We do have similar characteristics, especially the love for sweets and cake). The difficulty is that I have to twist L's personality to fit her loyalty to Levi, meaning that she's going to openly express herself in the most (what I think) embarrassing ways. Just imagine how that's going to work out.**_

* * *

_"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of __**time**__, _

_**place**__, _

_or __**circumstance**__. _

_The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break."_

_Fate had brought him to this moment of his life and he hated it. Day after day, he wanted to wake up to their faces, greeting him even if he didn't get to see Alais' smile, he just wanted her there. He never cried, not once because that wasn't Levi. Levi didn't cry because there was no meaning to it, what did it mean to cry? Why did people cry? He never knew. He just lived his life with a bullet sized hole in his heart._

_Would you cry if I died?_

"Come on, boy!" The angry shout bounced off the echoing walls, "Show no remorse, you fool!" A man no older than thirty-two shoved the adolescent boy to the floor, exactly as he had commanded, with no remorse.

"I am," The male hissed rubbing the blood off of his bottom lip with a sneer, "You're too fast," He retorted getting back up uneasily, his breath uneven and his heart thumping wildly.

The man spat on the ground, face cruel and serious, "You cling to the past that's why, if you forget then you'll reach your full potential," He scowled at the words he spoke, the familiarity as clear as day. _Just like me. _

He coughed slightly, body aching and muscles sore. Hours of training caused his figure to slump and fatigue to take over all his senses.

"Stand up, Levi," The man commanded the twenty-one year old. The fact of even taking in someone had never set well with him, but here his was mentoring a twenty-one year old _man _who clung to his past. Yet, he saw something in this boy, something that reminded him so much of himself, the fire. The desire to go above all, and Kenny wanted to take that desire and twist it. Just like the cruel and uncanny man he was. He wanted to make this boy his monkey, his slave, a puppet in a greater war.

"Don't command me, you shit of an old man," Levi cursed openly, eyebrows drawn downwards as he shook his head, hand placed at the back of his cranium. He had enough of the old bastard, constantly pushing him to the point of bones breaking and broken skin. Kenny the Ripper, _my ass._

A scowl built across Kenny's features, sick of the boy in front of him, his protégée. _Soon_, he told himself. It was all part of a greater scheme, he would release the boy and soon he would kill him. He was training the boy to be strong, to take down the titans and earn the praise of all those inside the walls, only to have their hope ripped away from them when Kenny would slit Levi's throat, bringing an end to any _joy _they could have felt. He would make them quench in fear.

"Go back inside," He waved the boy off, uncaringly. He was filled with thoughts of fulfillment, his plans for a better world, a world where he was the fear that made people shiver.

Levi 'Tch'ed' under his breath and made his was inside the old and worn down home, the sound of padding feet sounding from above him. He hated the underground but it was the only home he could find. He was just too...fragile at this point. He had only gone three years without them by his side. He stayed strong because that would be what Alais would want-no-it's what _he_ wants. Was it wrong to wish that she was there? That stupid part of himself that still clung to her wished her there, right by his side. After all, every soldier needs a shoulder to lean on.

Ah, but he wasn't a soldier. Would he ever be that soldier Alais wanted to see? Maybe he could forget about that, what was the point of being a soldier when Alais couldn't see? If his mother couldn't smile over his shoulder? If there was no one to be a soldier for, no one he held dear, no one that saw him for who he really was. He was a strong man, he cared for human life-life in general-he was focused, strong minded and strong willed. He wanted someone who didn't try to change him, someone who stayed by his side because he was Levi...and only Levi.

"Stop thinking about her," He closed his eyes with a strangled sigh. He was describing Alais. Alais only ever saw him for himself, never changed him and never tried to change herself for him. Even when she stood by him, it was never by force.

He wanted that back. He wanted her back. He wanted peace and tranquility, he wanted a normal life with Alais by his side-He wanted their promise to come true.

Forever.

He thought he would have grown old with the girl by his side, never needing anyone else. They would grow, side by side, have no children because all they needed was each other. He had always known they were both alone, how painstakingly obvious it was. Yet they were half empty, when put together they were a hole with no room for anyone else.

_He was brought into a state of isolation, distancing himself from anyone else. Kenny had thought he had finally forgotten his past, but what a fool Kenny was. Levi never forgot his past, he held onto the fact that he needed no one else because Alais was always with him. Just like when they were children, she was never going to leave his side. Never. Ever. They were half alone and when put together, they were alone at each others side. _

_"Someone I loved gave me a box full of darkness,_

_It took me years to understand this too was a gift."_

* * *

**_As this chapter comes to an end I will like all of you to take a moment and admire the heart wrenching thoughts Levi's having (Is it socially acceptable to say you should admire it?). The next chapter will stay along the time period of his stay with Kenny the Bitch, then I might just take it over to when he's with Isabel and Farlan (Briefly explaining my scenario of how they met). On another note, (I say this a lot) I was, truth be told, conflicted about Kenny's plans for Levi, but after further pondering about it, I decided to make it that Kenny's intentions were to make a hero and then take that hero away, leaving everyone defenseless enough for him to make his 'big debut'._**

**_Cheers._**


	15. A loss of Honour

**_Because of my teachers I'm behind on my updating. One day, all because of them. I don't get the point of throwing a whole bunch of assignments and tests on students, it's tedious but I'll deal with it. I was going to update sooner in the day but I got distracted by some dirt that managed to make its way into my room. This chapter, once again is still set in the Levi-Kenny time period so Levi is still in his early twenties. And don't worry for you diehard SnK fans because I am sticking to the original ages and events given. I don't believe in changing anything, for me fanfiction should stay true to the original plot, and changing Levi's age to fit that just doesn't settle right with me. _**

**_Hyourin-kusabana: There hasn't been one moment-as I write this that my heart hasn't broken. If you're asking why I go through with this, well that's simple, to make Levi Levi there has to be something at the start and in the middle, kind of like a sandwich (Now I'm hungry). I do thank you for saying that you appreciate the whole regularly updating because I feel sorry for all the SnK fans (This includes myself) or any anime fan (Trust me, I'm not a beginner at this whole anime thing, I've watched them since I was nine) because fanfiction writers/authors don't really update regularly, almost too little to me. I'm shocked people can even wait that much, I went a day without uploading and I already felt like the word was coming to an end + inputting these emotions are my hook-line-and-sinker. Plus, most of the emotions put into this story, are in fact my own opinions and feelings. Pent up as they may be, these are it._**

**_Ravenandawritingdesk99: I enjoy being cruel at times, and it's sad to say that it was needed for the plot to develop. I've already begun working on combining L's personality with Alais' loyalty to Levi, it is still in the making but you will *Hint* See some *Hint* in this chapter._**

* * *

_"Is it enough?_

_**I'll call out towards you-**_

_Just a simple touch?"_

_Even if he was a man of honour, there were times in his life in which he had lost that honour. He never held onto the supposed guilt that most were suppose to feel once they committed an act as cruel as his, he was taught that way, he could not simply erase it like everything else._

_It was programmed into his soul._

He crouched lowly to the ground, eyes strained forward and breathing as steady as can be. His heart hammered in his chest when a shadow passed by him, waiting till it brushed by to finally feel relaxed. Rolling his shoulders, he began taking quite minimal steps, still crouched. When the lamp posts flickered on and off he moved up, his spine straight and body making its way forward.

"One," He counted silently when the shape of a slim figure crossed his vision, hand grazing his side pocket, "Two," He wrapped his hand around the object, palm to metal, "Three," He raised the object up, gripping it tightly as if it were a life-line, "Four," The word was slower than the rest, calm and steady, till he reached five, "Five." With an effortless push, his body slammed against the man's, eyes narrowed when his figure collapsed onto the wall, eyes wide in terror.

"W-Who are you?" Levi almost huffed at the man's pathetic attempt to sound composed. Instead of bothering to he raised the knife, posing it in a perfect angle, one strike that was all it took. Just as he took his last step, the man raised his hands, a stuttering mass of human flesh.

"W-Wait!" He gasped out, "I know somethin' you'd want to know! I know who _you_ are!" Levi stopped his advancement, years took its toll on his capacity to care, minimal as it was, it was still there.

"Listening," He informed the man, not relaxing his figure, knife still clenched in his grip.

"You're Levi," He answered face sweaty and sickly pale, "A-and you've been lookin' for someone. They say she died in a fire," He paused face concentrated as he tried to remember the exact name of the person, "Alais! That's it. Little French girl, would have been twenty-three by now."

His eyebrows were scrunched, face furious and eyes set ablaze at the mere mention of the girl he spent half his life with, "What do you know?! Spit it out, petit baiseur!" There he goes again.

The man scooted back like a cornered mouse with no where left to go, "They-they say they saw her. She was in 'em underground caverns," He responded face never leaving its frantic state, "They say whoever she is, she spends a lot of 'er time there, never leaves there only once in a while."

Levi didn't think it over, hands sweaty and face clammy. That was a lie. He did. It was as if he hadn't the need to think it over because his thoughts were already consumed with those of her slightly androgynous face. He sneered gripping the knife tighter in his hand, whipping off any sweat that dribbled down his chin, disgusted by the dirt's pheromones. His eyes were blurred over, eyes glazed and cold.

_Alais. Alais. Alais. Fire. Dead. Dead. Not. Alive. _It wasn't her. It could never be the same Alais who told him about the evil this world held. Alais was no coward. Wait- if she was alive, would she be a coward? No...He was seeing this all wrong. Alais held theories, theories that she strived to make into clear understanding because she was individual, unique, logical. Everything Alais ever did had a purpose.

He released the breath he held and looked up to the sky, shoulders sagging before he looked back down, staring straight into the man's soul, "I don't care," The mans shoulders began to shake, "How tedious."

The knife was the barrier. Standing tall it held all the control in the world, either side unable to condemn themselves yet the welder lifted it high, reminding himself that he held it all in his hands. Levi couldn't back down, he could feel that old mans eyes at the back of his head. He sucked in a breath when the knife glimmered, telling himself that he would be okay. _It feels like I'm the one on fire, it's how you felt isn't it Alais?_

_Close your eyes, it'll be okay. _

He didn't dare look when his hand came crashing down, a thud ringing in his ears. He dreamed he wasn't there when his eyes opened. The man who once was shivering in fear had his eyes wide open in horror, those beady, dull eyes haunting him. He felt something inside him convulse, blood. It was smeared on his hands and around the knife he held, gripping onto the soles of his shoes like a life-line. The sticky substance disgusted him-it was tacky-it was gooey-disgusting.

He ran away before the smell could get to him. As he ran he could feel something right beside him. He knew that feeling, he knew that smell but something inside him choose to just run, to run down those familiar steps back 'home' and away from anything that felt like home. Real home. Not the knock off he lived in, one where his mother never woke him in the morning with her smile beaming at him.

"Back already?" Kenny called out pushing his top hat lower on his head, eyebrow raised at the sight of blood coating the boy in front of him. _Someone got a little...messy. _

Levi didn't answer him. With heavy, cold steps he ran into his room sealing the door and sliding down its frame. He buried his head in his hands, chuckling pathetically at how it reminded him of Alais, the last moment they really talked together-she didn't dare look at him.

**You fell a-s-l-e-e-p. **

He pushed his palms to his eyes tightly, rubbing and tugging at them trying to forget, trying to get past his eyes and into his brain so he could just _burn _it all away.

"Pft," His lips curled bitterly in distaste, "You can't have a world without anguish."

Something hummed in his ears, voice smooth and gravely at the same time. The sound was like a serenade, lulling him to sleep as it kept on at the same tune.

"_Yes..._" He breathed deeply the familiar feeling of nostalgia running down his spine, "_That would be boring_."

His lips curled down when he looked up, not believing a thing of what he was seeing, looking _him _in the eyes. At that moment, you could say the very fabric of time was split in two because some _imbecile_ was playing patty-cake with it.

"Impossible," He breathed, eyes slightly wide and mouth peaking open.

"_What?_" Wide childlike eyes blinked in his face, head tilting, "_Are you annoyed that you're the only one who can see me?" _

"Alais," He called her name reaching his hand out towards the girl who sat crouched in front of him with her back arched like a child-with her legs drawn to her chest.

"_That's who I am,_" She confirmed placing a cold and unbearable hand to his head, not letting him touch her, "_And you're Levi, the only person I will ever protect with my life, my Levi._" Her voice was laced in determination, not a hint of a lie on her eighteen year old face.

Wait-Eighteen? No. She should be twenty-three. He rubbed his eyes, staring one more time hoping that what was in front of him was real yet, when he opened his eyes he was all alone. He was alone. All alone in that place he now called home.

_Who are you?_

_Whoever she was, she wasn't Alais. She was just a figment of his imagination, something haunting him for not heeding her warnings. Was this the impeccable outcome? He hadn't said goodbye-neither did she. Was this the unfinished goodbye hanging on until it was finally fulfilled? Was this his retribution for not visiting her grave? telling her about his life? This life he was cursed to live? Would she even want to know? _

_This was real struggle. This wasn't something placid and second guessed only once, this was something that could never be confirmed. Because nothing in life can be confirmed. It can only be lived._

_"I can't hold it,_

_I can't reach it,_

_That heart of yours."_

* * *

**_petit baiseur = Little Fucker_**

**_It's seems like Levi's imagination has taken a whole other turn. I'm confirming it to you all who actually pay attention, that Levi is just seeing Alais there, she's not physically there (As sad as it is to come to terms with). This officially brings an end to the Levi-Kenny time period. The next chapter is going to be a little more personal on Levi's part since I'm planning on making him visit Alais grave for the first time. Just imagine that and take in all the feelings that are soon to come (Of course they're going to be Levi-fied). I wouldn't make him cry, you may think that it's not okay, but I've experienced it before. My grandmother died and I couldn't cry one bit. Not that I didn't feel some sort of sentiment towards her (Inevitably she was the only light in my world). I just never thought that crying makes a difference. But hey, that's just me. You believe Levi can cry then in the next chapter imagine hypothetical tears streaming down your computer screen (It's the computers sorrow-it knows his pain). _**

**_Don't ask why I made Levi count to five, I don't even know why._**

Rambling.

_**Cheers.**_


	16. Her Unmarked Grave

**_I'm not sure if you'll be able to derive any strong emotions from this but to me you can. I apologize in advance if you think this story is going nowhere but my initial decision was to go through his life, even the littlest of changes in emotions are necessary to me. I feel as if the story won't be whole without it. I'm not sure if you see things from my perspective or not but I hope you can at least be at par with them. After this chapter the plot will get moving and even closer to the present Levi. _**

**_Hyourin-kusabana: I praise you for your consistent reviews. Thank you for the motivation (to me reviews like yours even if they just say that it is good is enough). I do hope you stick around for the whole story and find out what is revealed in the plot because sadly I feel like it will amount to nothing if I tell you know (Kind of defeats the whole purpose of reading it). Fingers crossed that this chapter will be a tearjerker._**

* * *

_"Rebel against the ways of this world,_

_where will you fly next?"_

_In the years that followed he finally managed to get away from Kenny, taking his name with him. Levi Ackerman. He took it, but it was rightfully his from the start. After that, he was finally free. He found himself by her side again._

_Have you missed me?_

"Did you know," Levi trailed on, eyes looking down to the plain, unmarked grave, "That its been six years? and in those six years I spent four of them doing things that would make you disappointed. What does that matter anyway? You're dead, aren't you?" He continuously talked to the empty grave, mind relaxed and body slumped against her new home.

He ran away from the life he lived twice now, all he had to do now was find another life to live and run away from that one again. This seemed to be common with him. He'd never thought he could keep a home for very long, even if it was a poor excuse for a home. Even if he couldn't keep a home for long, he decided that Alais could be his home so he'd never be away from her. Yet as he sat against her grave, in the far corners of the Stohess District, all he could smell was the growing amount of decaying bodies. He couldn't call this home.

This wasn't a scenario where he had to choose between an object or life, there was no one to cling to, no one who he could grasp onto with all his might, someone who didn't demand human contact. Every person he came across-every person that he watched live their lives, needed that physical contact that he just couldn't help but not need. That wasn't him, if he demanded contact it would feel too foreign. He didn't want to _hug _someone, he didn't want to _touch _anyone. It was only skin deep, right? Then it was okay for him to not want it.

But he _wanted _her. Would the world give her back if he asked for nothing more? If he kept taking care of it? He cleaned relentlessly the moment _he_ ran away from Kenny, hoping to right a wrong, hoping that the world will see him try and give him something in return. The world wasn't listening, it never listened. It left him with a silent goodbye.

"You know how hard I try, don't you?" He questioned the grave at his side, hands clasped around a golden chain, her golden chain. She told him to hold it, so he did.

_You try too much. Poor soul._

He closed his eyes resting his head against the bitter grave, "You're coming back to me," He declared silently, "If you don't, I'll just come to you. I'll be with you one day," He winced closing his eyes tighter, "Just wait."

His promise can never be solidified, he didn't know when he would die, he didn't even know if she would be there when he made it.

"I can't waste my life away like this," He told himself with a staggering sigh, his face a fleeting stone statue. It was true, he spent six years like this, not guilty, no- never guilty but he was always holding onto the ghost of a _smiling_ girl. Could you blame him? Without her, he would have still been that same brat all those years ago, ignorant to all around him. Now he was grown, he was a man. His thoughts were different now, more composed. He never revealed a simple dab of sentiment knowing that he couldn't be reckless.

He wasn't emotionless. He was Levi, Levi who didn't laugh at jokes because he couldn't find the joke in it, who didn't smile because it never settled well with him, who didn't cry because tears did not convey anything. He chose to be this way. _They _helped him make himself this way.

He liked the word unique. Beautifully simple. To be different, that was all you had to be, different and then you were called unique. Levi was one in a million because he was unique because he made his own decisions. Levi didn't have a goal for the future but that couldn't stop him from living.

Nothing could.

"_Don't worry,_" Someone stood beside him staring up into the sky, "_Sometimes one cannot simply know the right questions to ask even when the answer is simple_."

"Do you know the right questions then?" He questioned eyes looking into the deep horizon.

"_Did I imply that?_" She looked down to him, eyes an empty abyss focused for the exact moment when her thoughts would stop, "_Oops. Ignore that then. It just,_" She raised her hands in bland emphasis, "_Disappeared._"

"That easily, huh?" He murmured as a face invaded his personal 'bubble'. With her head tilted she peered at him openly, eyes wide yet not in shock. Her eyes just seemed to stay that way as if taking in all the knowledge the world was giving her, unblinkingly.

"_Don't take it the wrong way,_" She hummed rocking back and forth on her feet. Moving towards him she sat in front of him blocking his view of the sun with her unruly hair, "_It's not easy for something to disappear. It's never easy_."

"Then how come you disappeared so quickly," His face fell blank when memories resurfaced, "You didn't ask anything of me, you just disappeared."

She nibbled on her finger behind his back, eyes downwards in thought, "_I did, didn't I?_" Her mouth worded silent thoughts as she stared at the man who didn't speak back. She watched him in agonizing thought, the tenderness of the moment something she couldn't meet, an expectation that she just couldn't make proud.

"Why?" He wanted to ask that question so long ago. Fate refused to let him question her, fate didn't take his side once in life. A dream came to his mind, one where he just got to wave a goodbye at her disappearing form. His dream ended there, it froze and replayed over and over again as if saying, 'Before you can see anymore, just do this one thing' and as it whispered its sweet offering he couldn't deny them but he couldn't meet them either.

"_I'm sorry,_" The apology hit him deep, he'd never heard her apologize, at least not this sincerely, "_You were my first friend,_" He refused to believe he was all she had telling himself that others enjoyed her presence but in reality everyone despised her, hated her because her views were different than theirs because she thought freely, "_I did not know how to process the situation, you did not allow me to. It's why I distance myself from others._"

"Why, Alais?" He asked again, voice wavering.

"_I don't trust anyone._"

"Why?!" He yelled burying his face into his hands. His body was shaking now, the cold droplets of rain beating against his skin.

"_You wouldn't trust me._" The sun was gone now and cold nothingness replaced it.

"WHY?!" Her figure slumped back arched and hands stuffed into her pockets as she stared longingly into the empty land.

_Stop asking things you already know the answer to._

Alais moved away from him, the cold going through her body like knife to butter. She gripped the hair at the top of her head, refusing to let herself look his way when he called the same question out towards her.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT ALAIS?!"

_She's a liar._

Alais wasn't there anymore, just like before she left him to stay alone in the cold rain. He kept trying after that, each year on the day she died, on his birthday he would try again. He would try to get that answer out of her. He wanted closure but she wouldn't give it to him no matter how much he called out.

_He didn't know this but he would never get closure because she wanted it that way. As imaginative as she was, as much as a figment of something unreal that she was, she waited it off. Someday in a strange way, the answer would come to him. The 'why?' he wanted so much to be answered would be given to him on a silver platter, served and ready for the taking._

_In a simple __**book**__._

_"She breathed secrets,_

_she held onto nothing,_

_yet a seemingly nothing,_

_was held onto something."_

* * *

**_I'm going to admit that in this chapter I wanted to give you all a feel about how I portray Levi because in all honesty I know how he feels deeply. I know who he is because I live like that everyday. You wouldn't believe it but I'm not actually nice in real life, if my cousin is going to read this then she should at least know that I only ever find the effort to really talk to her, everyone else is a chore and sometimes even speaking to her is. I'm not good at showing my emotions and have trouble understanding most of the sayings/slang used today, I simply don't find purpose in knowing them (Yes, I am apathetic). Only little things can make me happy and it's not daily. -Also living with Insomnia can never really be good on a persons health, I should know._**

Have a great one.

**_Cheers._**


	17. He was half empty, He was half full

**_I was debating this for a while but I finally decided that for the sake of getting things moving, Farlan and Isabel (sadly) will only make an appearance once. It was after a lot of thought so don't feel offended that I don't think they are important, because if anything they are the ones who stick by Levi even when he tries to distance himself. You will only see them in this chapter and I hope that's enough. I didn't really want to go through with my idea of how they met so more into the story I might make a flashback when they met, if you want that._**

**_Ravenandawritingdesk99: I'm glad that someone can relate to me, although I would be lying if I said it affected me in anyway, it still leaves me with the people I have to spend everyday with and their insufferable personalities, which are exact copies of half this worlds personalities because they don't have the capacity to think for themselves or be unique (even with their constant claims of being 'unique'). Teenage drama infuriates me. I mean who the fuck cares if I don't want to know what a Bae (Sp?) means, it's stupid and idiotic. And I do hope you like this chapter too, although there's not much, I am uploading two chapters in one day since I missed yesterday. Work is taking up my schedule on the weekends._**

_**Hyourin-kusabana: I'm glad you choose to have this opinion. Motivation is key for all Fanfiction writers. The spelling for Alais' name is unique because in truth you pronounce it just as you would the name Alice, except Alais is a different way to spell it. I know you can also pronounce her name as Ah-Ley but to make it easier for you all I made it pronounced Alice. (I find that names which are long and hard to pronounce irritate me). Fun fact is that her name means noble, which you will find out how that connects to her. And again, I'm glad that the people who review regularly understand the turmoil I am facing (I'm overexhagerating but to me it's needed). And it's good that you are abrupt because you can clearly relate with Alais! (I am not going to lie that I'm a very abrupt person, if you asked me if you looked bad and you did I would tell you right away). It's just how I am :)**_

* * *

_"You're in control,_

_rid of all the monsters inside your head."_

_He spent eight years in confinement, the company of others never crossing his mind. The underground was his only abode. To him, he needed nothing else, the simple thoughts that coursed through his mind never once screamed with discomfort. Half of him was empty, yet half of him was full, he could never truly know if it was okay._

_He was half empty, he was half full._

"Mother?" His voice was hoarse, the constant patter of water keeping him from getting a wink of sleep, "Merde." He pulled the cover closer to him, trying to drone out the constant crashing noises that echoed around his small room.

Squinting, he placed his hand over his eyes, running it down his face as he forced himself to get up. Slowly but surely, he stood and made his way over to the single sink at the corner of his room. Turning the faucet he hissed when cold, unbearable water touched his the water onto his face, he sighed resting his hands at the sides of the sink, shaking his head, water droplets scattering.

With the grip he held onto the sink, he pushed himself away, turning on his heel to grab what little food he had savoring the relief of hunger it gave him. Turning away from the small wooden table he leaned back on it, one hand against the edge while the other held his breakfast.

"Alais," He murmured staring at the photo by his side his eyes softening in the slightest before the life in his eyes burned away. He placed one single finger on the photo, tracing her figure. Although the photo was black and white he could still see the blush coating her cheeks, it made his head pound painfully. He bit the inside of his cheek, breathing out as he turned his eyes away, "Again..." He would keep trying to stare at it till it stopped hurting.

He slid the photo away from him without glancing at it, standing to clean the minuscule amount of mess that was created. Pushing his hair back, he turned towards the foot of his bedding, worn out objects neatly piled around. One object in particular standing out from the rest, 3D maneuver gear, something that took blood and sweat to achieve. And yet even when he achieved it no sense of pride came along.

_I can't fly, not without freedom. _With a scuff, he collapsed onto his bed his stomach rumbling in protest having not received enough food. Covering his eyes with his forearm, he stretched, getting off the bed hearing grunts of pain and a familiar voice calling out to someone, "Annoying," He grumbled, scowling at the wall.

When the door was slammed open and two figures threw themselves into the room, he hadn't flinched or turned away from the wall.

"That sure was close! Wasn't it, Farlan?" A redhead grinned up towards her taller companion. Farlan nodded, smiling slightly.

"Yes it was," His deep voice sounded amused when Isabel skipped forwards to where Levi was.

"Brother!" Isabel grinned widely, arms open as if she were going to receive a hug. Without looking at her, he walked past her figure, scowling in the slightest at the smell of dirt and smoke.

Shrugging, Isabel skipped over towards the small table, sitting down loudly, one arm swung behind the chair, "What have you been up to, brother?"

"Waking up, what else?" He opened up the wooden cabinet, taking a loaf of bread and tearing it for his two 'companions'. Tossing the bread over to the two, he sat back down, next to Isabel and Farlan.

Puffing out her cheeks, Isabel pouted tearing into the loaf of bread she was given. Grinning, she continue continued to chew. Farlan grinned at her as he placed his head on his palm, his eyes never leaving her.

"Brother?" Levi looked over towards her, his hands spread behind his chair, "Isn't that the photo you always look at?" She looked downwards onto the table, her eyebrows drawn together.

Hissing, Levi snatched the photo away from her, "No," He took one glance at it before putting it away.

"Then who's the person in it?" She pressed, stuffing the remains of her bread into her mouth.

"Someone long dead," He didn't miss the frown she gave him, the pitying look that casted over her features. He brushed it off, it was a human instinct, to try to sympathize with others. No matter how much he hated it, it was inevitable. He'd come to terms with her and her mothers death leaving his mother in a part deep within his mind, stating that it didn't matter. Even knowing that, his faults, they ate away at him, he wanted to correct them one day, making their death worth something-finding out the _real_ reason his mother had left but all he did was become a thug. He'd forgotten long ago, what he had, and what was his. Abandoned it fit more perfectly.

"_If you lie, you'll have to stick a thousand needles in your eye,_" She whispered like a secret in his ear, hands cupping her mouth, "_Don't tell them I'm here. If you keep my secret you'll get a prize_." She stopped making sense a while ago, the words she spoke seemed broken up almost pieced together roughly.

He adverted his eyes back to staring at the wall as his two companions waited for him to speak, "Get ready," He called out, "We're going after a snake."

_He'd stop speaking French soon, stating that something she taught him should be put away. He tried to burn the memories of her out of his mind, just as he had done with his mother and her mother, but she was truly the only one who understood him, so he thought, it wouldn't be so bad to remember her. Just until the pain of losing her went away. But then again, it never went away._

_"We looked like twins, but we were too different. I never saw her as family because my only family abandoned me like the swine they were."_

_"Put all your faults to bed,_

_you can be king again."_

* * *

**_Merde = _**Shit

_**If it's come to your attention or not, I've purposely made Levi's thoughts scatter around all of his past because I don't want to make it like he only cared for Alais (He was only ever around her but he did care for her mother and his mother very much).**_

**_You have finally come to the end of this chapter. Good job. I really have nothing to say but be prepared because two chapters are coming in one day. _**

Stay tuned.

_**Cheers.**_


	18. The Titan-Shifters

**_As promised, here is the next chapter to make up for the day I missed. I'm not sure how frequent I can make my updates anymore but I am planning to make a schedule or plan out the days which I can upload and which I cannot. But moving that aside for now, this as far as I can tell is the last chapter for past Levi, the next chapter is going to go into present Levi. See, I told you this fanfiction wouldn't be short since I just finished past Levi and it's chapter 18. (Time sure flies)._**

**_8Bitstudiosfanfic: No You are not crazy :) The song is actually from Zelda, I was listening to it and decided to use it because it was perfect. It's actually The Song Of Healing. Most of the beginnings and ends for my chapters are either song lyrics or quotes._**

* * *

_"We have been shadows all our lives,_

_It's time to make a change."_

_Behind everything about this world that those who lived it knew were those who lived in secret, planning to overcome their obstacles. If it came down to it, nothing would be peaceful, an all out war could happen. They were a small group of four, but those four could do much more than one could think. They wanted a change, they wanted to save those who were just like them._

_Titan shifters __**will**__ strive._

"Where is she?" A smooth voice sounded from the corner of the room, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.

The other two in the room shrugged their shoulders, the tallest of them all more softly than the blond next to him, "She said she had to go see her father. Said it was something important," The blond answered after some thought.

"This is more important than some father daughter bonding time," What could only be the leader of the group bluntly said moving away from the wall and closer to the two. The long dark hair of their leader whipped around as she turned to face a large wall littered in reports. One thing stuck out from the rest of them, in large printed words it read 'Military Police'.

"She needs to learn her priorities," The leader commented moving forward and yanking a piece of paper from the wall, "We don't have much time anyways," She confessed, setting the piece of paper down, sliding it towards the two.

"W-What?" The tallest stuttered looking towards the paper that was given to them, sweat dripping down his chin, "We-We can't do this!"

The leader whipped her head around, cold frozen eyes never leaving his, "Are you telling me that you're giving up? Giving up something that we need to happen, something that is more important than anything," Her eyes froze over even more, face passive to his despair, "Else."

"No," The boy stuttered, "I'm sorry boss," He turned to his blond friend, seeing him clench the piece of paper in his hand.

"We have to do it, R-" His blond friend swiveled around to face their leader who was wiping down the table, not listening to a word they were saying.

"Don't tell me you believe this shit!" He looked at his brown haired friend in shock, "It's been years! Nothings changed! If doing," He took the crushed paper and slammed it onto the table their boss was cleaning making her stop, "-_This_ changes anything then we'd be dead before we could breathe a word."

His friend reached out an arm towards the angry boy about to place his hand on his shoulder when his friend smacked his hand away, sighing in defeat his friend moved his arm away turning towards their leader who hadn't bothered to even fake being affect by his friends words.

"I met with a doctor," She confessed throwing the cloth into the garbage and settling down into her seat legs refusing to touch the ground, "Gave him some of my blood and told him that he could use this on anyone he wants. Like the fool he is, he took it. With this, it gives a 9% chance of success on our part."

"It wouldn't work," The brown haired boy had his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "The last time we tried it only ended up killing the person."

She leaned back into her chair, turning her head towards the wall littered in photos and information, eyebrow raised and hands folded on her lap, "That was when we only had a 5% chance of success, this time I've modified my blood," She rubbed her bottom lip with her thumb, "You can say I've made it softer, more," She dangerously whispered the next word, "Durable."

"Is it going to work then?" Her head swiveled to the side, hair scattered around her and half moons under her eyes.

"Uhm," She made a sound from the back of her throat, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again and looking towards the roof, "Perhaps, he or she just might die," The two flinched at her disregard for human life, "But just in case, I've given him some rules, simple rules that even a dunce could follow. Not to mention I've prepared a back up plan. I gave a poor man my blood, said he had a daughter that he could barely protect, Smir? Something like that. Names don't matter at the moment, the fact of it working or not is our main priority."

"Boss?" The brown haired boy fiddled with his thumbs, his voice a delicate whisper, "Don't you think that you're going to far? Your mother always said to be cautious when it comes to human life."

"I'm not my mother," Their boss answered back, a small flinch at the mention of her mother, "She's dead and I'm not."

"Of course," He said in understanding but his eyes stayed on his twiddling thumbs, "I understand, boss."

"Reiner," The blonds head shot up with a nod, "Bertolt," His brown haired friend nodded as well, "Leave and join the Trainees squad. They're going to still be shaken up after the fall of Maria it'll be the perfect opportunity to sneak in, I've already made your false backgrounds, stick to them and don't reveal anything."

"Boss, what about-" Bertolt was cut off when his boss stood up and walked to the coat hanger, grabbing her scarf and wrapping it around her neck, covering the bottom half of her face.

She stopped where she stood, the arm that reached towards the door nob stopping half way, "Let me ask you, who are the monsters of this world?"

"What do you-" She shuffled her feet and moved to open the door, lips pursed and eyes closed.

"Never mind," Opening her eyes, she scratched her arms rubbing them repeatedly, "Annie will meet you there, train and prepare. Don't worry about unnecessary things."

"Also," She called back when they boys moved to leave, "Get me something sweet, I feel as if my reasoning has decreased 40%."

_We are the Titan Shifters, strong and brave. We are free to rise again, hand in hand against all the odds we may face. Our spirits are unhindered, our goals are clear. We will overcome all that we face because together we are one. We have faced terrors you have never seen, we have been hunted, we have been tortured. They say things happen for a reason, our up rise will happen for a reason because we have had enough, we are nearing extinction, we will not be to blame. We have a cause, watch it come to life._

_The plan went smoothly, both Reiner and Bertolt being about to get into the 104th trainees squad, earning the trust of everyone there, of course Annie was the more difficult one of the two. When Annie had come back and faced her boss her face was frozen in shock the only words that could escape her mouth was that, 'Don't look back, Annie.' Their leader hadn't bothered to learn what had made the blond female this way, she just sent her off on her way with hidden understanding. This was the reality of the world, the boss knew, now it was Annie's turn to learn. _

_"Her eyes..._

_They use to shine so bright."_

* * *

**_Uhm, Next chapter is coming soon as far as I know. I already have the idea for it. I'm glad to confirm that present Levi will finally make his appearance in the next chapter. The plot eventually gets rolling at this point. I'm calling it the 'Past Hauntings' Arc. Who is the boss? That is the big question of the day. I don't know how you can't get it, it's plainly throwing itself in your face. I re-read this and realized how plainly obvious it is._**

Plot gets a rolling.

_**Cheers.**_


	19. I'm Home

**_I'm happy that I finally got to write this chapter because it officially introduces present Levi. The timeframe I decided to use was before the Female titan so you will see Levi's squad alive and well. In all honesty I wish I didn't have to kill them but I will inevitably follow through with the original plot. Although the female titan arc won't come for a little while, I still need to build the middle ground of the Past Hauntings Arc._**

**_Hyourin-kusabana: I can tell how high your hopes are, unfortunately I can't say anything about it but I can say you will finally be satisfied on the next chapter, just as I will be. On the topic of what kind of trickery this is, it's a very well thought out devious kind (My favourite type). And of course after only a day of waiting, here is chapter 19 :)_**

**_Ravenandawritingdesk99: I feel your pain on so many levels. I, just like you, only have a few more years left of high school then I'm finally free. Free from what is obvious, the unbearable constant giggles and gossip that I'm forced to be exposed to. Of course I ignore it but you can only handle so much. Of course school is not a major issue in my life, nothing really affects me much, but even as I say this after coming back from school, I finally realize that it's not only school which infuriates me but also my very own family, from my mother's constant claims that any man who marries me has to deal with me (As if I'm unbearable), even when I say I don't want to get married, she constantly brings it up as if it's the only thing on her mind. Apparently my goals of living quietly with a job and an animal at my side isn't enough for my hypocritical mother, to my little brother who never finds himself shutting up (His voice is a bullhorn). The quiet is nice, it's something I need nowadays. I appreciate that you find the Levi I write to be more better than most. Of course I have noticed things about him. Levi is abrasive and constantly unapproachable, I just took a turn on that. Of course he will still be vulgar because he has little to no care about what others think of him. But of course to prove a point to all those fanfiction who only ever have him swearing or everything he says is accompanied by a curse I am making him more realistic. Feel free to give your opinion on how I should approach the present Levi. This chapter, in my perspective barely grazes him. I apologize, I'm ranting._**

* * *

_"Tell me how are you going to go on?_

_Was it all a lie?_

_Careful what you wish for."_

_Over the next few years, he found himself seeing her everywhere he looked. Occasionally, his mothers silhouette would catch his eye, then disappear before he could utter a word. Alais' mother never looked at him in the eye. They weren't really there, but he couldn't help but see them once in a while. He moved to the underground after their death and his mother's abandonment. He meet others, like him, who were abandoned. Isabel and Farlan, but just like everyone else he ever knew, they too left him. Soon he found himself enclosed in a cage, that of humanity because to them, he was their strongest, their hope. They never learn, how could a man with nothing protect them? But that didn't stop him, he became their backbone, and he seemingly found his._

_I'm home._

The familiar aroma fitted through his senses, streets littered with people dressed in high end clothing, an air of importance around all of them, even the children who pranced along the sidewalk. His horse constantly neighed at the pigmented smell.

His squad, including Eren, were following him along, Hange and Erwin beside him as they traveling around the Stohess District. Adjusting his cravat, he turned his gaze towards Erwin, eyebrows scrunched and lips curved downwards in the slightest, "Erwin," He called out, calmly halting his horse. His eyes caught a familiar path.

_"You haven't visited," _He tilted his head downwards, a teenage Alais blankly peering at him, almost as if she were disappointed.

"Tch, I know," He muttered under his breath, eyes traveling back to Erwin, "I'll regroup when I'm done. I have-" He looked back at the path, "Something I need to do."

With a nod from his commander, Levi took off in the direction the teenage Alais went, hopping off his horse and not looking back once.

"What a mean little midget," Hange pouted, "Not even bothering to spend time with us! I don't need him! I have my titans, that's all I need!" No one bothered to comment back, letting her rant, seeing as she was responding to herself.

Yet poor Eren still not use to her banter spoke up, finally relieved that he didn't need to be held up in the old headquarters, "What do you mean?" Her eyes sparkled and her hands seemed to clasp onto his own.

"Titans, my innocent titan-shifter! Naming them, raising them, experiments! All those exciting things, aren't they absolutely thrilling! Juicy secrets that are just waiting to be discovered~" She laughed maniacally making him shiver and pull away from her.

"I see..." His eyes wandered to where the Corporal disappeared to, "I wonder what he's doing though..."

Levi brushed his fingers against the charcoaled wood, ashes escaping with every brush of his fingers. He reached into his back pocket pulling out a small book with an odd machine, the material warring out along the edges of the book.

_"Careful, you look hopeless," _Alais' figure flickered to life beside him, her small teenage frame only being an inch or two shorter than him. He gripped the book tightly in his hands, urging himself not to open it.

"You're being annoying," He grounded out, not turning in her direction, "Again."

She tilted her head, _"I cannot help it, you made me this way. I came from your mind as if I was born there."_

"You're saying it, as if I need you here," He responded glaring at her figure, "I don't." He placed the small book back where it came from and stepped away from the house, brushing away the ashes that managed to get on him.

_"Humanities strongest," _She changed the topic, grasping her hands behind her back twirling around to face him, her back to the charcoaled house, _"Have you achieved the wings you've always wanted?"_

His vision blurred slightly as he gritted his teeth in irritation, letting his lips curl downwards, "No," He dug his feet into the ground as she pulled down her scarf.

_"That's because they rely on you, you'll never have your wings if you're relied on," _She appeared in front of him, lips drawn into a straight line, _"You need freedom before you can have wings."_

Cold fingers were placed at the corners of his mouth, straightening out the frown he held. How ironic, she had done this long ago, when she was alive claiming that-

_"You look constipated," _-He looked constipated.

"And you're dead," The bluntness of his words didn't _seem_ to affect her as he leaned away from her cold touch walking through her transparent self, clenching his fists when he felt nothing.

'Alais' looked crestfallen but it disappeared before he could see, taking wide steps to catch up with him, _"Secret," _He stopped walking, turning towards her slowly, _"-I want to tell you."_

He remained passive, not caring to think back to when he was a teen, knowing she had said those same words to him long ago when she gave him this book, before she disappeared from his life. _You're leaving aren't you?_

_"I left you a letter," _She pointed towards the house, _"Insignificant little thing. I put it in a stone box, inside-"_

He turned away from her without a second thought, entering the rubble of a house, straight into her room ignoring the fact that he could very well be stepping on the remains of-He kicked down the door with little effort, kneeling under her bed. Pulling the stone box out he scowled at the dirt. _Disgusting._

Opening the box, he hesitated seeing a piece of paper folded neatly waiting for him. Unfolding the paper, his eyes scanned the contents, his abrasive personality never faltering from years of _experience_.

_Dear Levi:_

_At the beginning of our friendship I knew nothing about your goals and still to this day, I don't know them. I want to hear them, I want you to tell me them. Even while wanting this, I don't want it because I want you to be worry free. __**T**__his is not a question about what my needs are but instead, are you happy? Did you find your wings? Am __**I**__ there to see you fly? Isn't that a stupid question?__** T**__here is no denying it, I'm dead aren't I? Isn't fate cruel? I'm sure you cursed it at least once, that's what I'm doing right now. __**A**__ lot of times I cursed fate but not because of my own gain, instead because it must have taken everything away from you, right? __**N**__ever have I been one to reveal much about who I am-what I'm feeling because I was never comfortable doing that.__** S**__ometimes I even smiled thinking about you. Levi? With you I don't feel uncomfortable, I feel as if all the knowledge I learned is useless, like the fact that there is a whole world before us is nothing but simple facts and that's never happened before. __**H**__ave the titans gotten to you? No, of course they didn't you're Levi, brave Levi who could beat a man twice his size at only age 15. There's a reason why__** I**__ loved being in that clearing we called our own, because it reminded me of you.__** F**__rom their uncatchable selves to their wonderful wings. Did you know? I'm there right now.__** T**__his was the only place I could go to write this. Since the birds are so free, it makes me feel like I can be too. Now, you probably think they're just stupid birds flying in the sky, nothing important about them but to me, when I see them I'm reminded that you can be free, even when I can't. You're a bird free to travel the world and the sky with no limits yet I am the ground, unable to do anything but follow what destiny has given me. I can't reach you anymore but I like to think that on those special days when you choose to land, I can hold onto you for as long as I want. Levi? Can I be selfish for a second and wish you were here with me, holding my hand in the clearing we called our own?__**E**__veryone loses someone before they may even realize it, after awhile I realized that you seemed to disappear, that you were only memories. __**R**__emember? You're just like those birds in the sky. __**S**__ilently, I wished I could see you one more time. I want to keep knowing that you're there but with my memories, that won't be needed, right? You'll always be there even if it's in the back of my mind, even if I get hurt._

_-Alais_

_"Levi?" _'Alais' called out, her voice ringing in his head but the pounding of his heart overruled her calling him, _"There's a hole in the pa-"_

He ran straight through her, as if he couldn't see her anymore. And that hurt her more than anything, to feel his eyes glance at her but never meeting her gaze was an empty feeling. 'Alais' stared at the letter left behind, the single darkened letters gloating her, knowing that he hadn't paid attention to them. She knew everything wasn't what he would think it was, the world lied more than it let on, especially behind these walls.

If he had just connect those darkened words all his answer would be heard, all the confusion would make sense and everything would start piecing itself together.

**T.I.T.A.N.S.H.I.F.T.E.R.S**

_That single letter opened up much more possibilities than he had ever thought. It allowed him to finally question if everything he had ever known so long ago, could disappear in one day. Impossible. He ran to the only place he was sure about, that he knew still survived all those years, that clearing coated in flowers that was abandoned all this time. In the back of his mind his thoughts ran wild and blood pumped to his heart furiously. He was calm, he was nonchalant but his heart couldn't stop beating so loudly._

_"I'm-We're not who we use to be."_

_"You were given this life, _

_Because you are strong enough_

_to live it."_

* * *

**_I decided that I wanted to use the destruction of the Stohess District by the female titans hands to good use. It's Levi's past home. Of course it isn't his actual home, this is a more AU fact seeing as it is my own ideas. I hope you all understand why I may have used the Stohess District rather than something else. As for what they are doing there I decided it will be the king's order. You'll find out later why the king would want to send them there. It will all make sense in the end. Don't worry about Alais constantly repeating that he doesn't have wings because it will eventually come to a stop (He will gain his wings, of course hypothetically). Have any ideas on how he's going to gain his wings? Has something to do with a certain (blond)titan._**

Signing out.

_**Cheers.**_


	20. Irrelevant is who I am

**_Anyone who reads this chapter will have a big 'What the fuck?' written on their face. This chapter twists everything that you've ever heard about in the previous chapters. Of course you may think that Levi's words or actions are unjustifiable but if you really look deeper into it, the mood swings at the constant change of thought is what anyone may face, of course it is in a more 'Levi' way. I'm happy today, I got cake and all the chocolate I can eat (Strawberry cake so I'm extra happy)._**

**_Hyourin-kusabana: Capturing emotion is key for me. To me without capturing the emotion in the story or anything even if it is the little things that can change a characters point of view is important. To get a more better view at Levi, I like to indulge in the emotion, although I, as a person hate doing that to others. To me, a story is worth it. The fact of Levi's teenage Alais even knowing that Alais even wrote a letter is something to question all at once. I like to say that the Alais Levi made up has a conscience but in reality it was Levi's subconsciousness that remembered the letter. Alais had told Levi long ago that she kept a small stone box for emergencies because it wouldn't break. Alais had told Levi that she was going to write a letter to him since they weren't going to see each other a lot, since it was the last thing Alais left him and since Alais knew what was going to inevitably happen she left him that note. Although Alais thought she would die later on in her life, just in case she left him she wrote that. I like to call it Alais being paranoid._**

* * *

_"I'm irrelevant."_

_Is it pitiful to say that he thought he knew her? He never knew her, sure the time they spent together as children could account for something, but now, having grown up, it was worth nothing. Nothing but fleeting memories that could easily be replaced. They were two people, so similar yet so different, two people who had changed. If they ever saw each other again, nothing would be rainbows and daisy's. Someone, maybe even both would be hurt._

_He was furious._

A lone person stood tall-not literally, they weren't very tall-peering high and above, into the crystal blue sky. Coughing, they reached into the pocket of their trench coat, pulling out a small object. A paper plane, a unique little object at these times. Pointing the paper plane to the sky, they breathed in, releasing it as they breathed out. It flew into the air before falling towards the ground in a gust of wind. Humming, the figure pulled out a small notebook and recorded the altitude.

"You're not very strong are you?" They plucked the paper plane from the ground, lifting it to be at eye level, "No matter, I'll just have to adjust your wingspan and make sure you're more elevated next time," Lifting an eyebrow, the individual tucked away the fallen plane, "The question is, just when is next time?"

Wind brushed against their body causing them to shiver slightly, a scarf floating in the wind behind them, "Ah," The figure released a breath, "I'm not as smart as I say I am, aren't I?," Their tone of voice hinted at a slight dryness, the dullness of the voice overpowering it from being recognized.

"Je t'attends...Viens ne tarde pas, D'où que tu viennes, qui que tu sois, Viens le temps est court, Je t'attends, Mon rêve inconnu, Quel est ton nom, quel est ton but, Le mien c'est l'amour." Long hair fluttered in the wind, lips were flat, showing no sign of curving downwards or upwards as she pulled her scarf over her mouth, the familiar sound of pounding feet never missing her ear drums, "It's come to this, huh?" Her slightly narrow eyes glanced to the side seeing multiple silhouettes huddled where the trees became denser, "We're going to be in trouble mother," She looked towards the sky, the sound of feet hitting the ground only getting louder, "You're plan has an 86% chance of ending in success," Her thumb rubbed her bottom lip, "That leaves a 14% chance of failure."

A body pushed its way through a shroud of bushes, her eyebrows scrunched together. _You didn't choose to take the old path? Have you already forgotten? No matter, he has grown out of his old habits. _Whistling a soft tune, she didn't turn around to face him, eyes glazed over in thought.

"Turn around, you spineless bitch." She stopped whistling, her head falling to the side in thought. _But I have a spine? _She sighed looking downwards. _If my childhood self were here, she would know what being spineless is. _Biting her thumb, she sorted out her options, either turn around or run facing those who stood across from her in hiding.

"Before I turn around and you throw a punch towards my face. May I say that it's lovely to see you again?" She turned slowly on her heel, placing the scarf tighter around the bottom half of her face, cautious about those across from her.

"I'm not going to hit you," He called out, hands placed in his pockets. She raised an eyebrow, pale fingers pushing away the hair in front of her eyes, making sure she was seeing things properly.

"I would-" He cut her off by walking towards her, each step paced and stiff. Her brain fumbled around for dialogue that could make things run smoothly but before she could finalize her thoughts he spoke up again.

"I'm not going to hit you, because I'm going to make sure to mentally torture you first. When I'm done with you, you're going to wish I punched you, kicked you," His feet crushed a familiar night black rose, the one they had planted long ago, "You're going to wish you were dead."

Her attention drew away from him and onto the fallen rose. _Farewell_. Just as she learned to do, she second guessed her options, perhaps she can merge all her options. She would manage to pull through with her mothers goal and receive more information, the information she required to finally finish her plan. Burrowing her head further into the scarf, she bit her thumb. Her heart was hurting more than she thought it would when his heated gaze fell on her. This was the first time something like this had happened to her.

"It was necessary," She spoke roughly before clearing her throat, "Our childhood was nothing more than child's play," When his eyes darkened she smoothed out her words not believing a word of it herself, "-In the sense that we were just children, whose parents happened to know each other. Yes, as the years continued on we became, friends-childhood friends if you want to stretch that far," She licked her lips, "But that seemingly doesn't matter anymore, has it ever crossed your mind that you did not know me as well as you thought? Of course I held a soft spot for you, I had never had people accept me, let alone want to be my friend. You were the first. The only. My Levi."

"I don't care about the pointless shit you're spewing on about," Their tone of voice had a certain, likeness, "I'm not your Levi," Yet at one point he loved being her Levi, "The moment you left- the moment you died. I stopped being your Levi."

_Unaffected_, her gray words continued, "I'm sure I ended up becoming irrelevant in the end. You've been fine without me, I'm sure you can continue being okay. You're strong enough to pull through this world, companionship is nothing but fleeting shadows."

"Don't talk as if you're the innocent one, _Alais_," He sneered out her name like it was venom on his tongue. Alais hummed throat sore, eyes lazily gliding over his form noticing the wings that floated behind his back.

Her eyes flickered over to the pocket of her trench coat, "You have wings," She stated watching his eyes trail over to the cloak, "Yet no freedom," She breathed in, "Then you won't be needing this?" She pulled the paper plane out of her trench coat, holding it out towards him, "I wanted to give this to you, yet I haven't finished it, if you want I can give you this. Yet you have wings, something pointless like this, you shouldn't want or need, right?"

When his hands slowly reached out towards the paper plane, her plan had fully begun to start. Just as he was in arms reach of the paper plane, she watched his hands shift direction, going to grab her instead. She dropped the paper plane, already knowing when to perfectly spin and just as he was going to grab her scarf, she tilted to the right, his hands brushing against the fabric.

She made sure that she was facing the people in the trees when she made her next move. Lifting her hand towards her mouth, she lifted her thumb in the air, purposely making it known to them before slowly lowering it to her mouth, ready to pull down her scarf.

"Poor choice," His eyes widened and the ground beneath her feet no longer seemed important, she wasn't on this earth the moment he declared himself free of her as if she were a _pest_. Before she could break skin her body was thrown to the floor, immobile, with her hands behind her back.

The beginning of her mother's plan had just started yet hers had yet to begin because he wouldn't look at her, he wouldn't call her name with that same upholding air he always held because they didn't know each other anymore. Her goal was simple, she would get him to know the new her, the one she held back for him.

_When her head was still pressed to the ground she let her frustration show, she hated this, she hated the way she was. She hated that she had her mothers blood on her hands, that-that woman she never called her mother was dead, all because she couldn't handle him not knowing. She wondered what risks she would take to get him to know this time, could she kill? could she tell the truth? could she run away when the time came? She didn't know. She didn't like that she didn't know. She shouldn't have left when the fire was born, she should have never ignored her mother's screams of pain. Why was she this way?_

_Levi would fix her just as he started to do when they were young, he didn't know but she was the patient and he was the doctor-the inexperienced doctor that she couldn't let go of._

* * *

**_"Je t'attends...Viens ne tarde pas, D'où que tu viennes, qui que tu sois, Viens le temps est court, Je t'attends, Mon rêve inconnu, Quel est ton nom, quel est ton but, Le mien c'est l'amour." = _**

**_I'm waiting for you  
Come, don't delay  
Wherever you come from, whoever you are  
Come, the time is short  
I'm waiting for you  
My unknown dream  
What is your name, what is your purpose  
Mine is love_**

(This is from a french song called Je t'attends meaning I'm waiting for you)

**_Are you shocked? Ha! Got ya~ _**

**_Goes who's back? Alais!_**

**_More emotion revealed on Alais' part, especially how she use to view Levi. And just so you know, don't listen to the shit Alais was spewing on about, it wasn't true. Alais was trying to see if Levi believes her and of course he doesn't, he's not an idiot. Some might say that Levi shouldn't say that to his childhood friend but strangely it fits. In the next chapters Levi is going to be exposed to the Alais he has never seen before, yet she will still be embarrassingly close to him no matter what he says. When I say embarrassingly, it means that Alais will think it's okay but not everyone else. Sigh, I'm so happy I didn't have to part with my OC for long. I did say that Alais will have some L qualities but that does not mean that it will be completly L since I don't believe in taking another character's personality, copying and pasting it into your story and using that. So of course, Alais' morals are a twisted version of L's._**

Allons-y.

_**Cheers.**_


	21. She's Headstrong

**_I realize that I've haven't uploaded and it is completely and utterly...not my fault. Want to blame someone blame this world because apparently it allows people who have both insomnia and OCD to feel like their life it too boring and annoying (or is it just me). It has gotten to the point where I can't leave my room or go out much because I cringe and feel disgust at the slightest of germs + mess. Most people would just say to get some rest and clear your mind but you see, that doesn't work for a person with insomnia who can't talk to someone without 'insulting' them. It's not my fault if they're dull and their constant similar reactions are too. It's horrid having to live with a sister whose view on life and others is completely different than your own when she constantly chooses to try and change your view on life. I've grown to live with life you'd think my older sister would have by now but she hasn't. She just never learns._**

**_Hyourin-kusabana: To me it feels like Alais hasn't changed much but instead just revealed a side of her that Levi had never seen before. As you read on you'll have mixed feelings about her, you'll feel sympathetic at times then think what she's doing is stupid and will only end up with her meeting her end. After all, Alais may be smart but that doesn't mean that she's verbally adequate. She can barely converse with someone without insulting them, and if she does manage not to they will eventually get insulted sooner or later. It is true, you saying that Levi must be feeling betrayed. It's good that you managed to pick it up because I've met people who have surprisingly never been able to forget someone or not care for them even after they have been betrayed. I don't know how but they're stupid to me. I've experienced betrayal yet it never impacted me, but then again, I'm apathetic at all the right times (Which is all the time if I'm feeling honest)._**

* * *

_"A leader is someone who demonstrates what's possible."_

_She, as you may already have known, was prepared for it all. She preplanned her whole life from there on out. Her life was set in stone, something she could not change even with the greatest of perseverance. She was a leader, she would lead __**them **__to victory. __**They **__would finally have their own voice._

_She is headstrong._

The ground kissed her skin bitterly as she fell, stomach flat to the ground and the weight of someone against her back. Curtains of black hair blocked her vision, someone pressing their hand to her head, keeping her from looking up. A hiss left her lips, the feeling of her lungs being compressed tightening against her ribcage. The usually stoic woman blew out a soft breath and slumped playing the role of the surrendered.

"You're glad I came aren't you, short-stack!" A puffed-up at the moment, Hange cackled as she sat on the woman she tackled to the floor. Almost like she forgot she was sitting on someone, she crossed her legs, leaning forward with her hands pressed against something soft. The idiot, being the idiot she was didn't notice that it was Alais' head and probably never will, "You should have seen yourself," She ranted, "You looked like you were the one constipated! HAHAHA! Who's the constipated one now? Oh ya! That's right, you are!" Hange laughed like a hyena, her loose ponytail bouncing against her empty head.

"Tch," He clicked his tongue arms crossed, "The day I look constipated is the day they find your brain, shitty-glasses."

In all truth he would be lying if he said some sort of sick deranged relief didn't course through him when he saw her, it was only amplified when Hange tackled her down. He was sure that if she didn't he would have done something, something that disgusted him. It would have happened again for the second time, and this time it wouldn't have been by accident. He cursed himself because he couldn't stop the thoughts of her, he never could. He could smell the pigmented smell of wild roses cling to her, the untamed hair and bags under her eyes something that he missed-As unattractive as it may have been. It was still her, it was everything that made up the essence dubbed, Alais. He _hated _it.

"Hange, I think that's enough," Erwin stood behind Hange, his calm demeanor ever so present except for the small twitch of his eyebrows. Something, which by any means could not go undetected.

"What are you-Oh!" She slapped a hand to her forehead and chuckled loudly, pulling away from the small girl she sat on. Still carrying her ever so, dunce-like smile Hange pulled up the girl, her grip on Alais' hands containing, "She's so small! I didn't even know I was sitting on something!"

Alais breathed out, her breathe bouncing off the scarf she wore and hit her face, "Yes, you didn't," The disturbed girl murmured tonelessly, "But I happened to while you were crushing my ribs into my lungs."

"It couldn't have been that bad," Hange waved her hands in the air, head hung high, "I weight just as much as a feather! Anyways, If something did happen I'll just fix you up! Experimenting is my specialty, I'm sure human bodies are close enough to titans!"

"That explains why you are as stupid as one," Levi murmured, eyes glaring as they settled on Alais' form.

"I don't mean to intrude," Alais drawled, flicking her hair back so steel grey eyes carried by purple and black looked at Erwin. It was Deja vu to Erwin, if you removed the pigmented black circles and got rid of the feminine eye shape, just making them narrower in the slightest he could have been looking into Levi's eyes. Yet her eyes set off a warning system in the back of his mind. _Manipulative. _"You're off topic, aren't you?"

Erwin merely stared at her, head tilted in the slightest before drawing out a small breath and a nod, "Hange? can you do the honors?"

"Huh?" The distracted _experimenter_ hummed turning her eyes away from longingly looking towards the walls in the distance, "Which-ah-what honor?"

Erwin pursed his lips in aggravation, "Scenario 2."

In a flash of hypothetical wind, Hange beamed and skipped over to Alais who had found her way a safe distance away from the deranged titan lover. Leaning over the arched back of the short woman, Hange grinned eerily, "This will only hurt for a bit."

Alais wanted to bit her thumb, she wanted this to get along already. She knew they would do one of two things, take her down then knock her out or just knock her out, apparently it turned out to be her first pick. So when the shadow of Hange crept up behind her and the shadow of a syringe poked its way into her neck her excitement could barely be contained. _So close._

**_"Just kidding!"_**

_She was in no means a masochist, but when it came to being one step closer to her goal...nothing could stop her. I've said this before, but between you and I, something could stop her, not that she'd say, again. _

_Her lips were sealed._

_"This is my way of unleashing the feelings deep inside of me."_

* * *

**_If I have time I'll post another chapter tomorrow. I'm getting my haircut and I've got work so I'll see if I can cram writing a chapter into that. What do you think Levi meant when he said, "He would have done something, something that disgusted him." Hint* It happened before and he was greatly disgusted by it but I like to call it embarrassed in the Levi-est way possible._**

Past Hauntings Arc still initiated.

_**Cheers.**_


	22. Yandere-ish, isn't she?

**_Just realized how long it's been since I've uploaded. Oh well, eventually I came to my senses want to blame someone then blame my teachers, nothing better to do than assign homework and assignments. The updating schedule is going to have to become more narrow and I'll try to update as much as I can. Question, Do you know what it's like to have a person you don't know really or pay attention to say hi to you saying your name? Happened to me twice, I could barely speak one word not that I wanted to anyways. Bare with me on any spelling mistakes, this was a quick edit._**

**_Let's just get on with the chapter._**

* * *

_"She loved mysteries so much, _

_that she became one."_

_She was playing a game, one that could change at any moment. She knew if she choose the wrong direction it would be all over for her. Her feelings were bottled away, she longed to talk about them, let them find rest. She wanted to be there for him, if she was she was okay. She could 'forget' everything at that moment. She would do anything for him. She would do anything to the point of no return. If she had to get through an army she would, if she had to go through herself, she would._

_Yandere-ish, isn't she?_

Waking up was exactly how she imagined it to be, quiet, clean, and lonely. She'd become accustom to the loneliness, bitter feelings never bothered her anymore. It was as if she had _become_ apathetic, uncaring, uncompassionate. She was horribly used to it. This was one of those moments where she wished something that peaked her interest came, but after hours of waiting alone in that cold empty cell, her prayers were not listened to.

She counted the thoughts in her head, sung a toneless tune, studied her legs, and stared blankly forwards sometimes if she was bored enough, she'd look up. Her hands were bound, constantly twitching when she couldn't rub her bottom lip or tenderly nibble on her thumb. She never tried to escape, she wasn't stupid she was far from that. She was an inventor. She was an entrepreneur without her business. She wasn't like _them_. She had her own opinions.

A part of her, long thrown away, longed to see something yet her mind prevented her from knowing _what_. She'd lick her lip when the thoughts crossed her mind, almost like she was trying to itch an itch without her hands. Was she truly okay with herself? Of course. People grow, people become exposed, she was exposed from a young age but for him she tried. She saw him as the world, she wanted to take care of him and nurse him, but when it came to the people in the world, she hated them. They tainted _him. _They let him touch dirt. Was she too invested in this? Her mother had warned her, told her constantly that she had to stop.

Now where was her mother? Dead. The half of her breathing supply was dead, she could only rely on the other half that lived because of the hope she had in him. It would be hard to believe but the girl who use to care about pollution stopped. She realized that one person was not enough. Maybe her thoughts were misguided but that was what years of abandonment and loneliness gave her, a cold slap to the cheek.

A door opened, she noticed. The loud sound of it smacking closed something that she couldn't miss. She buried her head deeper into her scarf when to figures dressed in a uniform adorned with roses gave her glares, unlocked the cell and pulled her up, one unlocking her but not before the force of the yank pulled against the cuffs on her wrists, burning her flesh. She didn't make a sound before she was pulled out and dragged into a hall. She didn't walk with grace, in fact she tripped over her own feet constantly, the two from the military police each gripping one arm painfully.

She stumbled to the ground, stepping onto her hair as her body fell forward feeling two more arms crab her. She wanted to scuff, it was as if they thought she would run-she would try to get away. She would never do that, it would jeopardize her and her mothers plans.

The light to the room was brighter than she thought it would be, almost blinding her when her eyes caught glance of it. She wiggled her nose and breathed out a silent breath with her scarf was still securely on her. She knew he told them not to move it. She wanted to move on yet when her body was pushed to the ground cruelly and her hands bound to a post, she wanted to be home again where her mother would greet her in the morning-no matter how much she found it stupid, and the times when Levi would grab her hand, telling her that he was there. He would never hold her hand again.

"Its seems like just after seeing Eren Yeager days ago, I'm in another trial?" Zackly sat down on his chair, the paper in his hands, no dubitably containing what the commander and those around her noticed when they captured her. Yet in the back of her mind, she knew Levi didn't say a word about what they were talking about or even that he knew her, he was too prideful to be compared to someone like _her. _

"No name?" He questioned looking into the reports. Lifting his head, he looked down towards the girl/woman-it was hard to tell. His eyes narrowed in the slightest, his years of experience kicking in. He had seen that look only once. He never wanted to have the privilege of seeing it again, "State your name."

Alais who resorted in staring at Levi's form for the past few minutes turned her head and spoke with clean resolve, "Alais." When he raised his eyebrow as if to ask for anything else, she shook her head.

"Very well, Ms. Alais. You're under claim of being a titan shifter, may I ask why?" She knew he knew the answer, it was all in the reports yet he wanted to hear her thoughts on it. _How strange._

"You may," She paused, looking at Levi from the corner of her eyes, eyes dropping when he glared, "-May I speak out of turn?"

It really did look like Zackly thought about it, the shouts of the merchants not swaying his gaze on her, "Approved."

She sucked in a breath, holding it before letting it go, something that her mother told her would make a person seem more hesitant, "They misread the situation. I have a habit of biting my thumb on occasion, it was nothing but that."

Before an uproar could take place Zackly spoke up, "Ms. Alais, I can tell you are a very intelligent person, someone of your intellect can surely lie about something like this, do you have proof of what you are saying?"

"No," Her eyes returned to their normal bored undertone, as if the hesitance and worry for her safety was drained out of her.

"There's no point!" A merchant belted, a frantic look coating his every feature, "She'll end up just like that Yeager boy did! She'll be a threat! A nuisance! We could barely handle one! What would another do? It would ruin our livestock! Or merchandise! Just look at her! She'd be worse than Yeager! Who knows if she'll kill or not!"

"Stop spouting your mouth you merchant scum!" Someone yelled from the opposite side of the courtroom silencing him while Alais only rolled her eyes and turned back to face Zackly.

"I applaud your honesty," But he didn't believe her. For some strange reason he change his tone of voice, almost speaking casually, "Now tell me, in your opinion, What modifications would you make to the 3DMG?"

Some in the crowd looked a Zackly in horror, as if the question he was asking was vile-a line that shouldn't be crossed. Alais, for once looked genuinely interested-as if the idea of modifying or inventing in general made her more interested than if a titan were to dance in front of her.

"Their slow," She started off silently pondering over every little imperfection, "The metal rusts, snaps, gets tangled too easily, wasting perfectly good blades...you need a coating..." Her voice trailed on, monotonously listing everything she had noticed at a young age.

Zackly leaned closer, "What is this coating you're talking about?"

Alais' head shot up, as if her eyes were gleaming in excitement, "It _burns_, but if I modify it," She almost shivered at the word, "I can only make it burn titan flesh. I noticed this when I was ten, I saw someone use the 3DMG, mere chance but I did."

Zackly rubbed his chin in thought silently pondering everything before turning to the right, "Back to the topic at hand, the Military police will give their opinion on the matter first."

Nile Dok stood tall and overbearing, his scruffy appearance _giving_ him an air of arrogance, "We stay true to our beliefs and believe that this Alais character should be killed immediately, not only does she pose a threat but we do not know where she comes from nor do we know what her motives are, she could attack the moment we turn our backs."

Zackly nodded in understanding, turning his head to the left in a slow movement, eyes scanning over Alais before they landed on Erwin, "Survey corps, if you may?"

"Of course," Erwin agreed with his hands clasped behind his back seemingly disregarding the piece of paper he held, "With her intelligence we believe that we will have a higher chance of creating in-depth and well thought out strategies to aid us in the recovery of Wall Maria, as well as developing the 3DMG farther than we could ever hope to have. We also believe, based on assumption, that she will excel in the 3DMG seeing as she knows every component like the back of her hand."

"You seem to have high hopes Erwin," Zackly pointed out looking over the sheet of paper once more. Alais looked to the ground, her options limited. To her it wasn't enough, he would decline the Survey corps offer and go through with her execution, she had to think fast.

Scanning the room her eyes fell towards a familiar shade of metallic silver/gray. Biting her lip, she furrowed her eyebrows almost as if she were mentally telling him to turn and look at her. As if he finally noticed his head turned, eyes cold and aggravated, most likely that he had to waste time here. She closed her eyes for a while, opening them when three seconds passed. _Help._ His eyes were conflicted, as if he were asking himself if what he saw were real.

She had thought he would deny her offer, but when his hand clenched around the barrier between the two she saw it, the clear determination that had never faltered once in his life. He made his way towards her now. In some twisted form, she wanted something she couldn't have anymore, something she didn't even think she had to begin with, his love. His undying unbearable, love.

The court room fell quiet, everyone watched the Corporal walk towards the chained woman. He felt it was ironic, she use to talk so much about being free when she was younger, yet here she was, contained and left out to show for all.

He hadn't been told to do this, maybe that's why disbelief coated their features, but this was Levi. Telling him to do something didn't mean he would do it, he liked making his own decisions, he did things his own way and no one no matter how much they tried could change that about him.

Crouching down, he kneeled placing one leg to the ground, the other being used as an armrest, "Oi Alais?" He asked as if he didn't know. She nodded feeling a barrier between the two, no matter how close to him she was.

"Yes?" She blinked for a moment and hummed the next word, "Sir?" The two stared at each other, an unspoken language. She liked to breath the air he did, it was clean, it was refreshing.

"At least the idiot knows her manors," He grumbled on impulse stretching his hands forward. Alais, whose head was tilted slowly went back to its normal position as her eyes widened, she was shocked for the first time in her life. She couldn't believe what was happening. Where his hands were going- it was as if he were-her breathing quickened and eyes fixated on his.

He gripped her midnight black scarf. Yanked it down. Two Levi's stared at each other, one male while the other female. Both clean and _pristine_, not a _fault_ to their face.

_Both blank in face, one with lips curved downwards while the other purely on a straight line. Both unapproachable. Both **cold**. One chooses to fight for this world, the other lost faith in it long ago. One can be redeemed, the other is too lost. The question is:_

_Who is the redeemable?_

_"You've stepped over the line,_

_Once you cross there's no going back._

_You know that, right?"_

* * *

**_I hope you realize that I didn't want to make Alais a mary-sue so she does stumble and is not loved by everyone she meets because of her strange behavior, of course she doesn't have a horrible past that she cries about everyday that's just too mary-sue. Sure people can have horrible pasts, but it seems like everyone associates that with being mary-sue, can someone explain why? I'm confused._**

**_I did choose to spell Eren's last name Yeager since it's pronounced that way anyways, it'll make it easier on all of us. There are way too much ways to spell shit._**

Past Hauntings Arc still a go.

**_Cheers._**


	23. Only Him

**_I've made a decision that I'll only ever do these author notes when it's something important. So see you later._**

* * *

_"A secret or two,_

_or many,_

_or few."_

_Alais was a very convincing liar. Everything about her life was a lie, goals, hopes and future. She, at a young age, studied human nature. She enjoyed knowing that a man was cheating on his wife, knowing that he would go through great lengths to keep it a secret. She had heard lies before, she had seen people cry. It was all so interesting. Yet she never studied Levi. She wanted to learn everything about him gradually, she didn't want to be bored with him._

_Only him. _

"Why?" She breathed. It was unbearable. The simplistic action, it was unbearable. She hadn't thought he would bring himself into this, had she misjudged him? She felt enraged, she should have known and having not known it was killing her. This was the lengths she took to see him again, she should've been prepared. It was her own goal to breathe the same air he breathed.

He turned his head away from hers, face passive and cold to the touch. She watched the wall behind him, not daring to look anywhere he did, she wasn't worthy not yet at least.

"She's my sister," His voice was unwavering, cool and contempt as if _faking_ some sort of relief at the sight of her. As if he had discovered something long _lost_, "My _twin _sister."

"Twin?" She murmured the word between her lips, she didn't like the taste of it. They weren't twins. They could never be. She wasn't related to him, and him her. The _feelings_ she felt for him, they were not something you could feel for your_ twin_, your _relative_.

Zackly, who sat stiff in his seat scanned Levi's eyes warily, "Since when Levi?"

The man scowled deeply, already annoyed that he had to do this, that the sick and twisted part of his mind clung onto his past, "Since I was born," He let the words hiss out of his mouth, face indifferent yet mind irritated. He just wanted to _sleep. _

Zackly didn't seem bothered and instead moved his hand towards his gavel, fingers grasping the polished wood with a slight nod, "I've made my decision," In a quick moment the gavel hit wood, sealing her fate.

She stumbled when her body was thrown into a room, hands stuck in her pockets, body flailing. Something grasped her wrist, throwing her back. Her scattered hair blocked her from seeing furious eyes, blazing with hate and anger. Her heart thumbed in its normal rhythm but her mind was frantic. Exercise is what it felt like, something she hated. She wanted something sweet, something to calm her mind.

"You're lucky I didn't let them execute you," Her only ever friend slammed her back against the wall of his office, not harshly yet not gently. She winced when the breath was knocked out of her, looking away from his eyes.

"I didn't ask for your help," She murmured back, eyes strained from her lack of sleep.

"Look at me if you're going to lie!" He hissed pushing himself away from her. He sucked in a breath and composed himself, trying to sort out the emotions he felt. Anger, hate, contempt, relief...but why the fuck did he want to hug her? He looked down to his hands and clenched them tightly.

"I missed you," He tensed hearing her voice lull the words out, "I missed you a lot, I wanted to see you, hug you and..." Her voice trailed on, as if she were stopping herself from overstepping a boundary.

"Stop it, stop talking as if you actually care," His jaw clenched as he turned to face her. He missed being able to look at something other than a photo. At least, that's how he felt years ago, now he just wished he could go back to being miserable, staring at the photo. He wished he could have stopped hoping for her to come back to life, because now that she was in front of him he could barely think straight. _Humanities strongest. _The title was all he had now, it was all he could cling to.

Alais pushed herself away from the wall and staggered upright hand reaching out towards him her hand finding its way at the top of his head, fingers in his hair, "Sometimes you have to realize what is the truth and what isn't," She remembered all her lies and spoke more, "My lies are truth. My truths are lies."

He pushed himself back and away from her with a frown on his face. He turned to sit at his desk, head resting on his palm straightening out his thoughts, "You'll be staying with me, Erwin will be wanting to see you so keep up the act," He looked back to his paperwork gripping the quill in his hand, "Don't forget," The words rolled off his tongue, "You're my twin now, don't do anything stupid like you always," His voice died off, mouth open as if to say something else, "Did."

Alais only needed to look at him once, of course she only looked into his eyes once thoughtful about what would happen later on when things grew more complicated. In the inside her tender heart swelled at the sight of him, she finally had her friend back, her only friend. After all, Levi did matter, Levi and only ever Levi.

_Things were going to be harder now. Her plan because of him would change. Some would freak out but in Alais' delusional world, she was okay with it. Alais' plan was to make this world see another side of life, but that didn't mean that she couldn't feel alive again. She only felt alive when no one else was there._

_"You never asked where she was..."_

_"A truth,_

_A lie,_

_Can never die."_

* * *

**_It's going to be a rough start trying to rebuild that friendship that was lost all those years ago and you're going to get hints of romantic feelings between the two when they were younger as well as being developed presently. It won't be easy and as I said lots of twists and turns will present themselves as well as the chance of adding an OC or few extra but don't worry I don't like love-triangles, don't know about you but I find them petty._**

Anti - love triangles.

_**Cheers.**_


	24. The Good and The Bad Days

_"I'm already there."_

_I hope you realize that Alais herself was never a mean person and could never be, she lied and was inexperienced to this world. Even with her inexperience her thoughts were littered in obscured facts and knowledge yet she could never apply anything she learned to her daily life, it was as if there was a part of her that was holding her back._

It was one of his bad days. The sun shone to brightly. It was too hot. The very thought of having to get up was more of a chore than looking anyone in the face and taking time to speak. No one would be by his side again-that's right...She's back. He turned in his dazed mindset, hands burying underneath his pillow with a soft thud. His eyebrows scrunched and eyes shut tighter, he wanted to try to get sleep. He hadn't been able to for days.

Across from where Levi was trying to rest sat Alais. She sat on a wooden chair across the room, her feet never allowing themselves to touch the ground as she never took her eyes off him. She hadn't slept a wink of sleep something that was common for her, in a week she would only get about four hours of sleep, all that she needed. She rubbed her bottom lip when he turned in his sleep, body facing away from her view yet relaxed when he turned back around to where she could see him.

This, ironically, was one of her good days. The first good day she had since Levi's sixteenth birthday. She wanted to savor it. They had met Erwin yesterday in all his eyebrow glory. Something that the unaffected girl couldn't take her eyes off, so she stared and stared till Levi pushed her head away with force, reminding her not to be her idiotic self. He had asked simplistic questions, Where have you been? How long have you too been apart? How did you know where Levi was? And of course she lied about anything that called for it. It was involuntary. Maybe one day she could stop her lies and blurt it out to the world, her dirty secrets. The ones that made her skin crawl and lips twitch.

With a shuffle of her feet, the man who couldn't rest sat up. His eyes were tired, barely being able to keep them open yet he stood up, as did she. When he moved towards his desk, so did she.

"Stop following me like a lost puppy," He commanded sitting down with a loud thump.

"There is nothing else I can do," She looked him over as she sat in the chair in front of him, legs drawn to her chest. When he saw her do this his eyebrow twitched.

"Move your feet," His narrow eyes stared at her feet disgruntled. She didn't, "Put your feet down," He clarified but all she did was tilt her head and rest it against her inclined legs.

"Stupid or deaf?" He asked straightening out his slumped posture.

"Neither." Somehow she could tell he didn't believe her. She didn't think much about it, if he started to get more use to her lies then she would have to be questioned, she would finally be able to tell him all about the life she lived after him.

"Denial won't help you," He commented dryly as he let his head fall to the palm of his hand. Letting his eyes wander he felt some kind of awkward silence settle its way into the room. Closing his eyes he opened them again to find her watching him. _As keen as ever._

"Can you read my mind?" He asked the random question without a purpose. Alais licked her lips, sugar deprived.

With a quick shake of her head she answered, "I don't want to, so no."

"Then stop looking at me," He hissed turning down to face the piles of reports he had to write and sign.

She blinked at him, eyes wide like a child and lips almost in a pouting form, almost. She didn't want to not look at him, she hadn't looked at him for years. But what she didn't know was that he was constantly seeing her everywhere he looked and he could do nothing about it. She thought of something to say but her mind came blank, almost as if on reflex she blurted out the only thing she could.

"I like looking at you-"

"-Learn not to," He cut her off making her falter. She couldn't learn something like that by herself, she may never get use to his change in perspective yet he was still the Levi she use to know just grown up and finally exposed to this world. In some part deep in her mind she knew that even though he was informed it wasn't enough. He needed to know the impossible.

"I can't," She whispered with a shake of her head, eyes trailed downwards and empty with thought, "Can you teach me? Show me the new you," She tried to convince him, "I can show you the new me if you'd like, I can tell you all you want to know. Just teach me."

Something in his chest was hurting but he refused to believe it was his heart. Shifting in his seat he looked her in the eyes, refusing to show anything, absolutely nothing was what he wanted. He couldn't tell if she could see through him, he couldn't even get angry at her because there was nothing to get angry about. He hated it. He hated that there was nothing to build on except her hunger for knowledge-her hunger to know something that she hadn't known.

"No," He replied finding his voice, "I'm not," He brushed away the dust that built up under the large pile of paper and watched her do the same, brushing away at the dirt by her side. She stopped rubbing the dirt when she caught him looking and began to rub at her arms as if she were trying to get rid of dirt that wasn't there. He'd never know that she thought of herself as dirt because to her lying was the worst sin a man could commit yet she never stopped. He just thought of it as a habit, a new one-one that she kept from him, he didn't know.

"You can-" He cut her off when he stood up and grabbing his beige survey corps jacket. She stopped talking and only went back to staring at him. That is until he began to talk back, her head shot up and eyes gleaming with an unknown gleam. No one, not even her mother could ever love that look.

"You have to experience it," He answered back without much thought, "You can't just learn everything and eat at it like a titan," His words were a harsh truth, "That would make you a mindless moron like the rest of them."

She watched him walk out of the room with a rushed mind the only thing that she could let out of her mouth was a silent intake of air, "I know," She declared when he walked out, "Knowledge is nothing without imagination," She curled tighter into a ball, hands placed under her chin as she let her head rest atop her knees, "I wish that weren't true, things would be much easier wouldn't they?"

_They had just gotten into a flow. It was always her that tried to talk but just couldn't she just wasn't socially adequate. Sometimes on rare occasion he'd try to talk to her but she never knew. He would open his mouth but shut it before she could notice. This only lasted for a day or two before Alais, by the orders of Commander Erwin was thrown into the world of titan hunting. She didn't want to. To kill a titan, would that make a difference? Between you and I she was in it for the knowledge. To make the enemy stronger was a risk she was willing to take._

_"Wherever there is you,_

_I will be there too."_

* * *

**_I'm beginning to develop their friendship all over again so bare with me, it will eventually hint at romantic feelings just as the genre states, both friendship and romance. Just don't expect it too soon, that would be physically impossible. Although there was some romantic feelings when they were children it'll have to be twisted and used to aid in their further relationship. This is weird -_-_**

**_Cheers._**


	25. The Web

_"I don't mind if there's nothing left to say,_

_She knows what I think about."_

_A few days had passed with little change. Only Erwin and Hange knew about her outside of Levi. Erwin had told her they would be introduced soon when she would show her skill level to him. _

It was her first time truly looking and getting to touch the maneuver gear. It was magnificent in her eyes but not at its full potential. She wanted to test its limits like a mad scientist who could not-would not stop till it's creation was absolute beauty, even if it was ugly in the eyes of others. When she was finished, this gear would become Frankenstein's monster, the nameless beast.

A beast fitting for someone of its own kind. Inhumane. Deadly. Yet when she swung high into the air her body flailed and spun in the sky. She wasn't very strong, she never was, she relied on the moment to take control. Yet there was two cables, each controlled by a single trigger. Balance, it clicked in her mind. It didn't take long before she was soaring high above the trees roughly. In no way could she ever be graceful, her movements were rigid and quick, no strive yet fueled by curiosity. This was a reason why she could never truly fight by their sides-by his. She had no goal, no true motive. She held nothing against the beasts who roamed this earth and caused mayhem no matter where they were, she just couldn't.

"To your left Alais!" She heard him call out and saw him fly by her side, his night hair flying back. She almost felt at home the moment he spoke her name but she knew he didn't want to call her by her name. He had to. He had to play the role of a brother, a younger twin brother that she didn't want.

She swung to her left just when the 'titan' turned in her direction her body almost hitting against a tree at her side. When the wind was just right she planned the perfect move. Just as its wooden head swung to face her, she flipped behind it flipping like a moving wheel on a wagon and hit the nape of its neck.

"Clear!" She called out loud enough for him to hear her and came tumbling to the ground lazily bouncing on one foot till she came to a stop, "How much?"

"You're lucky," He landed behind her without a hassle putting his swords back into their sheath, "One less and I would have let you fall into that tree again."

She hummed rubbing her lip as she itched her leg with her foot in a bored manner, hands slapping against the leaves that clung to her, "Elevation will have to be increased," She noted walking next to him in a paced rhythm her figure notably more slumped and _relaxed _then his.

"I don't sleep," She decided to try to do this. She had read long ago in a book that this use to be an _ice breaker _which could also be called _small talk. _She decided to take the risk and listen to the book even though it was written centuries ago.

"Lots of people don't," He retorted absent-mindedly, "Or did you forget that giant toddlers rule the earth," He added dryly as they neared the headquarters.

"And adults, and kids," She added not latching onto the idea that he didn't want to talk about things like this. In fact, he didn't want to talk at all.

He scuffed moving a little more faster than she did. The woman reached out her arm and pushed him back so he stood back next to her. He chose not to say anything but only turned away from her staring off into the distance. She _didn't_ mind.

"They call it insomnia," She continued looking up into the sky, "They say you can't sleep no matter how much times you try. They say it's the nightmares," She muttered off, hands fiddling with the fabric of his jacket. He shifted uncomfortably.

"What they are you talking about, idiot?" He questioned with a small scowl. Why was it taking so long?

"The books," She answered back vaguely as the headquarters came into view.

_Nightmares, huh? _He peered at her from the corner of his eye and just couldn't see it. He couldn't see the side of her plagued with nightmares, he only say a little girl with an enticing smile that was as rare as a land without titans.

"Are you sure you're not just being delusional, Yeager?" Jean laid his accusing eyes towards Eren only to back off when Mikasa threw a terrifying glare at him.

Eren narrowed his eyes angrily at the horse-faced boy, "Are you calling me a liar, horse-face?"

"What'd you call me, Titan-shit!" He growled back grabbing him by his collar. Eren hissed and pushed at his hands.

"You heard me, Horse-face! Horse-face! Hooorrssee-face!" He repeated gloating in his face with a heated glare.

"Take it back!" He commanded gritting his teeth as an unattractive sneer covered his features.

"Never!" Eren called back childishly with a taunting smile. Mikasa could only watch helplessly as her step-brother argued relentlessly. When someone's feet shuffled she felt a hand block her and realized she was making her way forward. Armin shook his head with a sigh telling Mikasa to just let it be.

"You're lucky you're humanities' hope or I would have thrown you to the titans long ago!"

"Wait!" Reiner called making the two stopp where they stood, neck and neck with each other.

"Isn't that Corporal Levi?" Eren pushed Jean out-of-the-way and ran in front of Reiner, looking to where he pointed off. Eren's mouth fell open and his eyes widened, awe hitting every one of his features perfectly.

"No way, it's like there's two Corporals," He murmured in awe as two short figures came into view, each walking in a pace that was no more than the other.

"They're staring," Alais pointed out when she caught the eyes looking towards them. She had been thinking about the words to say to him and this was the perfect opportunity.

"Let them," He retorted without missing a beat. Alais sulked internally before opening her mouth again.

"Who are they?"

"People."

"There are many different kinds of people in this world," She retorted once again with a vague air around her.

"Am I suppose to think that's important?" He questioned pushing her forward because she was lagging behind.

"No," She answered back. He nodded his head stiffly when he thought she was done talking, "But you do know it, don't you?"

He stopped walking causing her to bump into him, his eyes narrowed and stared straight into her soul, "How do you know? Spit it out or I'll shove my boot onto your face." His retort to her was as passive as the wind.

"I know you," She said evenly, "I know the Levi I grew up with and I know the Levi next to me right now, you're both so different. But I know you, I'm not an idiot if I was my intellect would not surpass even the smartest of titans."

He seemed rooted to the ground with his hands hanging loosely at his sides. She knew him before, he knew as much. He could always tell because she understood him even when he didn't understand himself but could she truly know the new him after only a few days in his presence. Had it only been a few days?

"When you said if I can read your mind," _Silly girl_. He thought. "I didn't-don't need to because you're still my Levi. I don't need to read you, I don't need to know your thoughts because they're yours and only yours."

_She was making him think. If others found out-certain others-nothing would end peacefully. She was already a threat, a threat he hadn't known because- although he didn't know it, he was entangled in that same web that he found himself stuck in all those years ago. Alais' lies and her influence._

_"It's too cold for you here."_

* * *

**_These author notes are really getting shorter. My bad with the decrease in updating I've been going to a counselor and all that as well as homework. The female titan Arc is coming soon so be prepared for death, death and...even more death. _**

**_Cheers_**


	26. The Villian

_The snippets of his life that he could remember were scattered but he wrote down everything. This was his timeline. His dialogue of a life he lived and thrived in. It would have been years before __**that **__incident happened and he would never know it was coming. She knew. He revealed in those scattered sheets of paper. She eventually told all her secrets, confined in him at the last moment. He broke her trust, he sold her out, he was the villain in this all._

"Okay Alais, we're going to evaluate how you're training went. Just walk forward and when I say so, kill as many 'titans' as you can in under five minutes," Erwin explained to the girl whose back faced him.

Alais blinked heavily and turned around a lollipop hanging loosely in her mouth. Nodding she turned back around tightening the scarf around her neck when the soft draft of wind brushed against her. Spinning to her left she trudged forwards passing by her 'twin brother' as he stared impassively towards the forest ahead of them.

Just as she was inches away from him she spun back around and threw her arm out, something small and red sticking out towards him, "Would you like one?" She asked gesturing for him to take the lollipop as if it were the only thing he could remember her by.

"No," She blinked looking down at the lollipop and back at him.

"Are you certain? I find that sugar is a more efficient fuel than any other, its beneficial and enjoyable flavor is also a bonus. Would you like one now?" She rolled the lollipop in her mouth around with three fingers as she held the lollipop towards him, upside down and hanging only by three other fingers.

"Just give it Alais," He snatched the lollipop away and tucked it into the pocket of his trousers, "Now go, the brats are staring at you as if you have eyes at the back of your head."

"If that's what you want," She nodded her head slowly never looking back once she moved forward, a group of people following her.

"Why do you think we were called?" Eren asked his blond-haired friend with a confused look in his eyes.

"They probably need other people's opinion. If she moves as fast as they say she does then they'll need more eyes to watch her," Armin answered convincingly seeing the woman turn towards him for a moment a glint of something in her eyes before it vanished as she turned into the forest.

"Smart," Alais murmured when the boy finished speaking. He wasn't wrong, that's why she wasn't confused by the extra eyes watching her carefully.

Now all she needed was his help in getting to understand what being spineless meant. Maybe she could ask him later, when she finds out his name that is. He seemed...smarter than the rest or maybe it was just that he thought more and looked at things more carefully than most did.

Stopping at the edge of the forest Alais closed her eyes and forced them open when the sight of taunting inventions flashed. Placing her thumb to her lips she bit it roughly before clearing her thoughts. Alais would live with this exhausting life because she deserved it, she was guilty of more crimes than a man could see. And she knew it all.

"Ready," Erwin called and continued when she gave a wave of the hand in his direction, "Go!"

Once the words left his lips she latched into the air, spinning and twisting wildly without stopping to rest. 'Titan' after 'Titan' was cut at the nape of their neck, sloppily yet deep enough to land a finished blow. She never wasted time to look back once her body spun and swords met with _flesh. _Her face was a concentrated nothingness as she analyzed every fault she could find finding herself more at ease when she found more.

Just as her swords slashed against the _titan _in sight Erwin began to count down. Alais looked up as her body flew in the sky watching the sun shine brightly hitting a large object and casting a shadow across it. Nodding to no one she dipping down to the ground, body quickly descending before she threw her weight upwards and soared high above the trees spinning to fall to the back of an unsuspecting _titan. _One swipe of both her swords finished the job. She didn't feel at ease. It was as if she were killing _herself _with the deadly dulled blades in her hands.

With a shake of her head she neared those who stood at the edge of the forest. With a decent flip in her perspective she came crashing down. Just before she could hit the ground she flipped jumping on one leg till she came to a stop, discarding the dulled blades in disgust as she whipped herself of the dirt that clung to her.

"Don't be shy about it, _little brother_-" She called out not sparing to look at him when she checked herself over for dirt.

"-I'm not being shy," He retorted evenly in his utmost famous deadpan voice.

"Then don't be serious about it either. What brings that look? Did I fail?" She questioned finally looking at him with those endless eyes.

"Forty-nine," He murmured, "Don't think you failed, idiot. If you keep jumping to conclusions you'll forget you even have a brain, might as well feed you to the titans so we don't waste air."

"So I did good?" She ignored him turning towards Erwin, "I found more problems, do you still want to take up my offer? I am not saying that this will win but it will push the hu-us forward."

"The military police do not trust you enough although I can say otherwise for me, you've proven yourself harmless to our safety."

She felt shaken-strangely-that someone else fell into her trap of lies. She stood silently in her slumped posture before removing the finished lollipop and placing it inside a napkin that she tucked into her pocket. Her eyes wandered before they fell back onto everyone that stood before her. Scratching the side of her head with a single finger she nodded silently and walked forward lifting the scarf back up so only her vacant eyes peaked.

_Mother? Is this what you wanted? They trust me now. Are you proud? _She was lost in thought the moment she was far enough from them all her eyes straining forwards. Her very own wishes and the wishes of her mother were tumbling inside her mind. Her one-sided hope could never be reciprocated she only wished the her in the further future would correct her mistakes, the ones she was making now because all Alais wanted to do was something impossible. Being important in _his_ life again. His priority wasn't her anymore, it was _them _the humans. His own race, one that she could never belong in, never be accepted into.

_'She stopped trying to get me to talk to her' he revealed in one section of his life, 'It seemed like after Erwin stated he trusted her that she lost trust in herself'. He confined more than he should have, 'She'll never find out as long as I live,' he deeply wrote almost ripping the page, 'She'll never __ever__,' he outlined, 'And neither will you.' His future self would set down the quill and rest his head against his palms looking at the figure huddled underneath his sheets and say, 'I'd rather eat titan shit'. Yet we all know that titan's can't shit so that was knocked out of the window. How about 'I'd rather have diarrhea for the rest of my life'? Or is that too __**vulgar**__ for Levi Ackerman to say?_

* * *

**_It's late. I'm kind of tired and my mother's going to kill me, it was a bad choice to eat that chocolate._**

**_Cheers._**


	27. Closer Than You Think

"Is that you?" He was sure he was dreaming. He vision blurred as the face in front of him tilted their head. It was a cold night, the wind dragging itself through the open window leaving no room for comfort. In a strange way he was cold, cold in a dream that wasn't real. Of course he was being delusional, Alais hadn't spoke to him for a week, why would she want to now?

"It's not isn't it?" He release an uncaring breath and pushed her away watching the figure stumble to catch her feet. Somehow he felt disappointed as if he could just have a normal life outside a dream, "Get out of my dreams Alais, stop ruining my sleep."

"Huh?" Alais murmured steadying her footing and walking back over to him, her feet dragging themselves on the floor. At that moment she looked like a dead man, shadows falling all over her face and only one grey iris peeking beneath the darkness.

He stared relentlessly at the ceiling above him thinking that she had disappeared until a hand pushed its way in front of his eyes. That same hand that came to his face had a partner that held a body up. He could see smothering grey eyes in his face and a scarf tickling his nose, "It's not over," She murmured.

His heart thumped wildly in his chest, breath ragged and eyes screwing shut till they opened once again with a final breath of, "Disappear already." Yet she was till there smothering him with a gaze he hadn't seen since he fell off their home made wagon as a child. _Worry_. He remembered that moment when she rushed to his side throwing her arms around his neck no matter how much times he tried to pull away. Her shaking body and tightening grip made his eyes widen, her child gaze grew more serious than he had ever seen. She'd told him over and over again, _it's not over, don't fall over. _This was a coincidence, she just couldn't let go of him.

He felt his gaze shake without warning and eyes hazly struggle to focus on her. Yes, _**Levi Ackerman **__felt _struggle. It was inevitable as a human that you make bumps in the road, yet he couldn't help but count all of Alais' faults trying to kill his own.

-It was still going on that cold and hollow betrayal. Betrayed because he couldn't know why she hadn't ran back to his side the second the fire stopped burning, that she didn't run into his arms for _comfort_. She never accepted comfort from others. Since she came back there was a distance, an unbearable distance that neither could cross.

"You're the one who picked me," She reasoned poking his forehead with a single finger, "If I disappear, everything will be over."

"How?" The shiver inducing cold hit his skin before he could _stop _it, "How do you know when it's over?" She looked too serene as a twinkle lit up in her eyes and blinded him.

"When there's nothing left, that means nothings over till either you or I disappear," The barely evident twinkle in her eyes-it was gone now, a trick of the eye.

"Then disappear," He hissed in one breath gripping her shoulders till her hands overlapped with his own and he froze in his place, "Move your hands," He commanded.

"Tell me it's over," She told him strongly with her hands never leaving his own.

"Move them," He commanded but stopped short when she leaned herself closer to his face.

"Did you not miss me?" She asked almost softly, "I was not lying when I said I missed you," She confessed.

"I stopped missing you, you're not worth it anymore," His eyes never left her face as his hands tried to keep her back.

"How touching," Her voice reminded him a bitter child sneering and tauntingly childish. Her breath kept hitting his face and it took all his will to keep his hate down, to keep the annoyance he felt under control. She still could get under his skin after so long apart.

"I know," He responded impassively. If this was a dream it was a shitty one. He recoiled slightly when she pushed down on his shoulders cursing when he felt a hissing pain.

"I know something too," There was no hesitance in her voice the second she spoke. Her eyes were stuck gazing on his own making his chest pound painfully, "Secrets," She leaned down whispering the word in his ear.

"Spit it out," He found his voice barely above a whisper when she pulled back slightly and consumed him with one gaze of pure malice.

"_The monsters in this world are closer than you think, you stupid human._"

* * *

_**Ouch, Alais sure was harsh there. If you hadn't noticed, yes, this is not a dream Levi just thinks it is.**_

_**Cheers.**_


	28. Mother?

**_Have a wonderful thanksgiving._**

* * *

_'Something strange happened that day,' He scribbled down with a frown, 'If that stupid old shit didn't interupt me I could have found out more. I'm only left with a single thought-' The paper was torn, the edge left cold and empty. Who ripped it is still a mystery because Levi never did._

He stood over her grave. The woman who saw herself as his second mother, the woman who he use to admire because she could _never_ frown. His gaze was one that could remind anyone of an empty room just waiting to be filled. He had woken up alone that morning, cold wind causing Goosebumps to scatter across his body. His _dream _left him wondering, thinking over a single sentence more than he ever thought possible.

_"The monsters in this world are closer than you think you stupid human."_

His dream Alais had called him a human, a stupid one at that. If the sentence itself didn't confuse him he would have shown her who the stupid one was. He knew there were monsters in this world but she said they were closer than he could think. He was unnerved.

"You did this," He spoke looking down to the engraved grave, "All of your idiotic decisions did this, you kept her away and bottled her up. She was smart, she **is** smart and you tried to stop her from thinking for herself. Do you know how little human contact she has? The fool can barely keep up a conversation." He ranted towards the grave, lips curled downwards and eyebrows furrowed in some sort of _frustration_.

Levi curled his fists and placed it atop the gravestone opening his mouth and breathing out a silently angered, "Moron."

In a second he had yanked his hand back as if it were burned and shifted his feet so he could stand more comfortably. He kept silent until a bird passed his line of sight causing him to focus his attention on the soaring animal. The bird was a vibrant blue as it descended onto a tree not too far from where he stood. He heard it chirp merrily as it placed something down and little heads, about three of them all a soft pink fleshed colour came peaking out chirping as excitingly as its mother had.

He could see the connection between it all, the care and generosity that one animal held to its kin. But he could not see why now, why it had all happened now. He didn't know why that bird made a difference. He was a martyr to this world, he would die because he believed humanity should have a hope. Wasn't that bird also a martyr, could it die for its kin?

"Could you risk everything?" He didn't risk looking at the animal, "Are you a martyr too?" When he looked back at the bird he felt all the adequate thoughts dissipate into nothingness.

It was staring straight at him, big doe-grey eyes staring relentlessly at him. It was as if he could hear her soft breathing plea. The bird shook its head for a moment before turning back to him almost sadly until its small and delicate head turned away from him to nuzzle its children. He watched the display of affection regrettably as a bitter taste wove its way into his mouth and left a stale after taste to haunt him. He didn't want the affection by touch but he couldn't help but have one half of himself wish for the emotional add-on but that emotional state of euphoria disgusted every _normal_ brain cell he had.

"It's annoyingly conflicting, these stupid emotions," He muttered to himself turning to look down at the slightly raised ground.

It was then when his eyes caught a single white rose angled strangely as it sat behind the headstone. For some strange reason, as the wind blew across the empty land his eyes couldn't help but remain on the rose. Crouching down he lifted the object off the ground and held it at eye level his eyes narrowing at the small droplets of blood that were tucked beneath the petals. _Whoever had placed this here was in a rush._

"What are you doing here boy!" A gravely voice hit his eardrums before he could think further about the strange rose, "This is private property! It belongs to the king! No one's suppose to be here at this time!"

He stood up without a word and placed the rose back where he found it, turning to face the man. He was met with an old man who had a mop of grey hair and barely trimmed beard.

"You're the guard of this land right, old man?" The mans nostrils flared as he nodded his head stiffly, "Did any other person come here?"

"How am I suppose-"

"Did anyone?" Levi repeated again harshly with a strong undertone.

The man huffed and crossed his arms, a basket of hay behind his back making him lean forward slightly. The wrinkles on his forehead creased in thought, so much that Levi thought he was going to burst from thinking too much.

"Yeah," The man answered back with a grumbled, "Lady with dark hair and brown eyes came running down here like a frantic sheep scurrying and all that," He waved his hands around in emphasis as he rubbed his chin trying to remember more, "Had to be at least in her mid 50's maybe early 60's she ran too fast to tell."

The thought that crossed his mind couldn't be helped. A perfectly painted portrait of a woman with long shiny black hair and deep brown eyes held a bright smile that could charm any man she met, and she smiled down at him her hands clasped around a young child's shoulders as he turned away with an angry glare, grey-steel eyes gleaming with annoyance.

_Mother?_

_Yes, his mother. He thought she was dead or long gone but it seemed like she was still in his life. And no, if you're thinking he jumped the gun to find her than you're wrong. Levi forgot about the pitiful woman the next day, just like she would have wanted. Instead the weight of the 57th exhibition was on his shoulder. After all, there were better things to think about._

_Much better things._

* * *

**_Next chapter we'll get alittle bit more into Alais' thoughts and the live she leads. My updating might not be as consistent as I thought. I apologize._**

**_Cheers._**


	29. The Life She Lived

**_I thank all of you that favourite/follow. Feel free to review._**

**_The introduction to a new OC is in this chapter. Hope you like the OC._**

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_'She lived a life outside of the one I knew,' The quill danced across the page that was lit by a single candle, 'That life was no better than the one I gave her.' He'd pause to look up then back down as he caught the sight of a single photo, 'She saved me I owed her that much, but I never showed her it. Never showed a life that could have happened because, instead I chose one that was challenging.' With a face that carried no emotions except a single tired stare he'd look out to the night, 'I never want to go back, it's sickeningly damned.'_

"Lu?"

"Yes sweetheart?" A man with white-blond hair responded clearing the table in front of him with a quick swipe of his hand, carrying the reminisces of a past lunch away.

Alais who was seated across the room with her chin atop her knees glanced towards the man with half mooned silver eyes. The crackling fireplace warmed the room yet she couldn't feel warm, that heated air wasn't reaching her as fast as she would have liked. Lu smiled down at her and patted her head softly as he sat down next to her, his familiar pine cone smell invading her senses.

"Have I done wrong?" The question was the whisper of a lost child, misguided as it stumbled across an eerie forest.

"You never can and never could Ala," He pulled her into his warm embrace and patted her head like a child, his comforting arms something she couldn't forget, "Do you want me to tell you a story, мои Ala?"

The half Russian man at her side ushered her to turn and face him a more serious look on his face than she had ever seen. With a nod, a childishly curious one he smiled brightly, hands dropping to his side.

"It's a story about two boys, both friends since a young age, both different in their own special way. The two boys both lived in an old village, one that held respect above all, if you were a child you were kind to those older and if you were older you taught the young, that was the rule. The older of the two was a boy with dull blond hair almost white if you blinked who had eyes a cool blue, just as the ice that _fell_ in the winter. He was a boy no different from the rest, he followed everything they said like a puppy, an ignorantly happy puppy never a frown on his face," Lu smiled a beaming smile as he finished the lonely sentence yet his eyes were sad and filled with regret.

"What about the other boy, Lu?" Alais couldn't help but want to know more, she didn't like not knowing things.

"Ah, _him_," A blissful smile coated the older mans features as he leaned against the wall behind him eyes shimmering in silent joy, "His name was Amar but everyone called him wandering Ama because his mind could never stay on one topic-"

"-They called it ADHD," Alais interrupted with a distant gaze as she shuffled her legs closer to herself.

Lu didn't seem to mind when he closed his eyes softly and blissfully, "I would have never thought, you do know so much more than I, мастер," He chuckled heartily and shook his head as if to stay on topic, "He was such a wonderful boy. Mind open to all possibilities but because of that he noticed more things than others. He noticed a wall that was not safety but instead a jail. He detested that wall and every night he would tell his friend over and over, 'Lubah, I'm going to leave just you wait and I'll take you with me, that's a promise' such a headstrong boy he was."

"Do you know what happens next, мастер Ala?" _Master. _She hated it when he called her master, it didn't fit her.

"Tell me what the village did," She whispered in between lidded eyelids. She didn't want to know what happened next, a strange feeling never left her and her heart refused to stop pumping furiously.

"They took him," Lu looked down to the girl at his side and laughed softly, just as the person he was, his smile never left his face, "All people are mistreated at one point, мои Ala and sometimes one cannot do anything to stop it."

Alais buried her head behind her scarf and closed her eyes breathing in and out. Lu stopped speaking for a moment, cold blue eyes a shimmering black hole, bottomless and dark. He'd never stop watching though, this woman by his side was a child by all means, new and unexposed.

"Do you know the purpose of this мастер, why I have told you this?" Lu questioned slicking back his white-blond hair with ease. The simmering of the fireplace reduced to a nothingness of ashes and black smoke.

"No matter how gifted you are...you, alone, cannot change the world," She answered back eyes focused upwards at this point, staring blankly at the ceiling with her never-ending eyes.

"I could never fool you, мастер," Lu smiled and stood up to leave when a hand grasped his sleeve and pulled him back, forcing him to turn around and stare at tired, long-lived years of torment.

"Annie," She spoke clearly her bored voice picking up in pitch as she tried to speak louder, "I _fear _that she will do something reckless, something that will endanger everything that we've worked for."

Lu smiled gently at the girl in front of him, crouching down to reach her height and grasped the tops of her knees in his hands, "мои Ala you never fear," He laughed in delight at the strange look she gave him no matter how small it was, "Do not lie мои Ala you only live, not fear," His faced morphed into a mask that she had never seen before, a face had taken his place, disguising themselves as her Lu, "Then you would not be Ala мастер but an imposture."

"But Annie," She pressed trying to get his attention.

"Forget about Annie for a moment Ala мастер," He told her earnestly his gaze a soft plea, "Do not think of others, for once Ala мастер think about yourself and what you wish."

"I do Lu," She confessed, "I do so much."

"Then act on it Ala мастер, you never do. I know you do not know how to apply the knowledge you have about comfort and others onto people but do not let that stop you. Do not let hesitance rule your world Ala мастер," His words were a gentle push, a guidance in the right direction, "I know how you feel about him Ala мастер and seeing you like this does not settle well with me, if you truly love him then you will let him see you as something more, build what you already had."

"But what if it's gone," She stressed the words burning into her mind as she clenched his shoulders strongly, "It's no longer there."

"Ala мастер," He tisk'd her like a child and took her hands off his shoulder, "Do not delude yourself, if you spend half your life with someone, no matter what you've been through, you will never forget them-never forget what was already there." He spoke like a man with experience. Like a tortured soul who did not get to hide, Lubah, he'd gone through the same thing she had-this man who was with her through thick and thin. Was _just like_ her.

"So sure of yourself," Alais murmured with a clipped tone, her thumb finding its way to her lips.

Lu looked back at her and caressed the top of her head like a father might his own child. The large village sprung to life making him turn his head slightly to face the wooden door.

"They're all up now, Ala мастер," Lu informed Alais with a polite smile as his white-blond hair found its way in front of his face.

"Let them," She waved it off easily, "If they are up or not does not concern me, there's not much left anyways."

The great massacre of Flâneur left the village in ruins, the population only a slim handful, it was bad enough that food was scarce. Those who lived in the village were getting sicker and could barely breathe a word without coughing up their lungs. The people of Flâneur were wonderful people who ranged in personalities, not one person was similar to the other, yet they were reduced to ashes just for being different. Those who were simply innocent were killed never having a chance to live their lives in peace and now those of a different breed no longer reigned over the village in all their unique glory.

"You must lead them now Ala мастер, the job has become yours. You are the strongest titan shifter, if you go down then we all will cease to exist," His voice reached a point of no return, a plea that held onto a thin string. It was not that Alais wasn't being the leader that she should be, it was simply because Lu was afraid of saying goodbye to the village that had given him a home.

"2%," Alais responded nodding her head.

"Ala мастер?" Lu questioned with confusion circling his gaze.

"We have a 2% chance of reclaiming our honour, our name," She said firmly, her face a tired-empty wall, "I will make it happen Lu and I will also think for myself. I'll talk to Annie and stop her, I_ know_ she'll do something careless." She jumped off her chair with a loud clank, moving her feet in a slow rhythm as they dragged against the ground.

"I fear Ala мастер, that even with your word Annie will not listen," Lu murmured when she closed the door behind her, only a flowing black object flashing, "But Ala мастер is never wrong," He smiled grimly and looked down to an image on the countertop, "You're daughter is very wonderful Élaine мастер you were right in trusting her with this honour, she will bring us to salvation."

_Such faith a simple person could hold, but he was not wrong. She was born for the role of a leader, the one that could and would lead them all to Salvation. The transformation was stronger than most for her as it took over her body, longer than most because she would be the strongest, she would be the obstacle to beat. Yet she was not trusted by all who thought her infatuation with a human would be her downfall but it couldn't be her downfall if that human didn't know, right?_

_"I don't believe_

_the world can't be saved."_

* * *

**_мои - My_**

**_мастер - Master_**

**_I wanted to give you a look at the life that Alais leads when Levi isn't there and what she had been doing since he was gone. If it makes it easier I will explain where this is going. Alais, after her mothers death, now takes over the village that her family originated from since her mother's death. All those times that Alais could not be around Levi was when she was at the village learning all that she'd need to to rule. Around the time that Alais got sick was when the village was attacked. Now, Alais being sick did come from the transformation to become a titan-shifter. She has the blood flowing through her yet it takes effect at a certain age. There is a little twist though, Alais is sick. She'll often start coughing uncontrollably and cough up blood but that's all about the curse that was placed on the village leaders of each generation which has been passed onto Alais. It has something to do with Élaine, Alais' mothers plan. I'm not going to reveal too much because it will start to get into the manga, and if you haven't read it, I don't want to spoil it for you._**

**_Cheers._**


	30. Just a Scare, An

_**I've been wanting to ask this question for a while now, how far till you want the romance to show? I know I've been developing it again in a steady amount but I'm wondering what you all think. And there is also a chance of me writing a first person chapter, anyone interested? I haven't been able to upload for a while because I've been pondering a new fanfiction for Naruto, maybe a modern version. I'm still not certain.**_

* * *

"Annie," Alais threw the door of Annie's room wide open and closed it as quickly as she could watching said girl squint against the glaring sun and turn in her direction, once her eyes landed on Alais, she bolted upright and turned to face her.

"Boss," Annie murmured hoarsely, standing up and slipping on her beige coat holding the military police sigma, "What do you want?"

"You know the plan, correct Annie?" Alais interrupted her question, her narrow eyes never leaving Annie's eyes. She held her gaze strongly when Annie simply blinked at her and nodded her head.

Alais shifted and moved closer to Annie easily towering over the blond female though not by much. Licking her lips, Alais scrutinized Annie studying every single change that had occurred since they had last seen each other which had been years ago when she commanded them to join the training corps.

"Why have the others joined the survey corps yet you have not Annie?" Alais questioned the female in front of her as she twisted the small candy in her hand.

"It would be easier to know the enemy when you are surrounded by the enemy isn't that right?" Annie answered back throwing in her own question so she can throw Alais off her trail, yet Alais would not succumb to a simple lie. Annie knew that Alais wouldn't believe her, that Alais already had all the answers in the palm of her hand yet wanted to taunt Annie into exposing her true intentions.

"Are you lying Annie?" Alais pulled the treat to her lips and placed it delicately into her mouth, savoring the sweet rush it provided.

"No," She answered back coldly as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, one eye being covered slightly by her hair.

"You're a coward Annie," Her bosses dull voice coated in boredom responded making Annie turn around with a non-existent flinch, "You want safety yet you try to defy me?" Alais moved forward as the air around the room shifted, small sounds of moment alerting the two that those of the military police were beginning to awake.

"They deser-" Annie's body crashed onto the bed behind her as a body loomed over her own grasping her wrists to the point of creating bruises.

"You," Alais hissed voice cold and furious, "Are with the enemy Annie," Her eyes turned into narrow slits as her pupils dilated, "Do not think I don't know you Annie because I know you, I raised you," It was not true, Alais had raised her but not in the way a mother might or sister would, "If you defy me Annie, you will have nowhere to run, you will be a traitor and immediately sentenced to death."

"I know," She responded as she struggled to free herself. Annie clenched her fists and pounded against the hold of her leader, huffing and hissing when her wrists only burned rather than freeing her. Cold sweat dribbled down her temple and down to her chin.

"What's wrong Annie?" Some might think that her leader was concerned or at least curious enough to ask but Annie knew otherwise, her boss, her leader, was taunting her. Annie clenched her teeth and finally stopped struggling, her body slumping in exhaustion.

Even with Annie's skills in hand-to-hand combat, she was no match for the woman in front of her who had aided her father in teaching her. In the days of their villages salvation Alais was renowned, if you were to receive help from her or even be trained by her you would be one of the strongest yet Alais had only wasting time on Annie, stating that too much work was tedious and a waste of time. Annie had tried to be close to the girl, her idol yet she couldn't the girl distanced herself and never spoke much to anyone. Annie knew why, it was because she had _him_, he was the cause of this.

"They were right," Annie spoke staring straight into her idol as her steel-grey eyes burned holes deeper than a knife to flesh, "Your infatuation with that human will end you!"

"Hold your tongue," Alais hissed quietly as her low and hummed voice was laced in hatred, "If you do anything to harm _him_, to cause _him_ pain, physically or mentally I will personally kill you Annie. You do not go against me. No one does." The woman who could only feel protective of one person alone threw herself away from Annie in disgust as her face morphed into its information sucking appearance and her back arched in contempt.

"The expedition is coming up Annie and I expect it to go exactly as planned," She paused and held a gaze that could make the bravest of men quiver in discomfort, "Just a scare An, just a scare."

* * *

**_Know that most of what is being thought back to, the flashbacks, are before Annie's father died. In my fanfiction he was one of the many Titan-Shifters who were slaughtered. Isn't this amazing, you see the angry and furious side of Alais (as furious as Alais can be) more of this side of her will present itself further on._**

Past Hauntings Arc - Almost complete

**_Cheers._**


	31. Jealous? Never

**_Welcome back._**

**_I like to think that this is a faster update than the others since school has been an annoying tick on my life. I have an Essay to write and they extended the length of it this year, kill me now. Anyways, a little more romance develops in this chapter but of course it isn't the touchy feely kind since that really disgusts me-I blame the people in my school who think its okay to practically grope each other._**

**_Haven't done this in a while:_**

**_Ravenandawritingdesk99: The idea of making them pretend to be brother and sister had been in my head ever since the beginning when I said they looked like each other. Of course they are not exactly alike in looks because that would be just weird but they do have similar features. When the romance comes in it's going to be an awkward kind of thing as people will start to see it. I had planned for Hange to figure it out, you'll find out how._**

**_Hyourin-kusabana: I realized that you hadn't reviewed in a while. It was strange. Trust me when I say that Alais' reaction will be epic, I like to say she'll be in the no going back stage of anger. I did think over the whole romance aspect and decided that gradually I would reveal it. This decision was made a while ago so the romance is looming over. I did want this to be as realistic as it could be while still having an anime feel because everyone who watches anime and reads manga knows there is no such thing as realistic. Then again, if you take into account Levi's personality you have to make it gradual and realistic, you have to make it like she's creeping up in the back of his head subconsciously. Then comes admitting it to himself which is the trickiest but then again, Levi can be blunt so he'll probably admit it later on although I'm not sure I'm ever going to have him say, 'I love you' directly since Alais wouldn't need him to say it. It's just in Alais' personality to be the first to declare it which you'll see soon. And about the first person, I wanted it to be Levi yet I'm still working on it and making it perfect (which means editing it to the point of passing out)._**

* * *

_It wouldn't be the first time he'd be questioned by Erwin. Erwin would find the time to ask him in different forms whether or not he trusted his **sister**. 'He couldn't give it a rest and asked that same forsaken question every time, 'Do you trust her?' Since when have I ever trusted a person who could barely think for herself. I'd be harsh, yet that fool stuck by my side, I'd not give her a hint of affection-no that I wanted to, germs are easily contactable-and she'd stay by my side' His eyes shot up when he heard the little pitter patter of feet hit the ground, 'I suppose the future proves otherwise.'_

It was at age sixteen that he noticed more things about her than he should have, like the way her hair always seemed to be messy naturally yet never fell out-of-place, as if it were meant to be there or the way her steel-grey eyes, just like his were not an exact duplicate because they seemed to be a more prominent mix of blue. That blue in her eyes was always overpowered by the rings of deep black and purple, an imprint that would forever be by her side. Even today, he couldn't look at her once without those simple thoughts crossing his mind.

_Why did he have to see her as more of a woman?_ She was childish at times, isolated, things about her that he couldn't seem to grasp. Stupidly, he'd let her _break_ his heart without knowing, or maybe did she? Had he killed her? Had her blood been stained on his hands and in the crevasses of his fingernails this whole time? In the early times of her absence in his life he'd often find himself face down in his pillow with her taunting memory held in his hand, a single inflamed face just like scarlet fire.

Presently, those were all bottled away. Other feelings other than his duty to this world were shoved away, he had to _aid_ this world. He would finally, then be able to find redemption in an impossible fleet of hope, of courage and of utter stupidity. His fingertips gripped tighter around the upper portion of the mug in his hand, a simple white with a golden rim. Purely simplistic objects were easier on the mind.

He didn't understand how she could make him think more than anyone else could. Her smell, the look of pure and utter understanding that never once left her eyes mesmerized him. His pride though, that would stop him from forever admitting that it ever did. He was going _crazy_. How much things did he have to worry about?

"We'll have to go over the formation one more time since Alais is not present, do you understand Levi?" Erwin's voice rung in his ears, pounding and demanding attention as the Corporal looked up to face the man at the head of the table with a nod, his face baring no emotion as there was never a need for one.

"She has no sense of time," He commented turning his head to the side to stare off at the wall, slowly but surely placing the mug to his lips careful of the heat and steam that occupied it, "Don't get your hopes up," The last portion was purely a dry reminder that did not go unnoticed by Erwin who sat with his arms on his lap and back straight.

"It was never 'up'" He retorted with slight amusement twinkling in his eyes aware of the scowl that was thrown his way. The slight amusement disappeared when a serious contemplating look fell over the commanders features drawing Levi's attention.

"How much do you trust your sister?" A harsh reality was slapped against Levi's face, _sister _never, Alais once upon a time. Now there was nothing, nothing but recurring feelings that wouldn't politely 'shove off'.

Using all of his will he swallowed down the urge to say that he wouldn't even trust her with a piece of grass when a force of impenetrable steel held him back. Instead the only word he could mutter was, "Enough."

And it satisfied Erwin. The vague and hesitant word satisfied him yet Levi couldn't believe it. He refused to believe that the calculating and all-knowing man believed a word he spoke. Levi wasn't a good liar. His lies were limited to simple excuses and false facts, he could not lie about his opinions and beliefs - never about his _feelings_.

"Sorry, Sorry," The lighthearted and insignificant apology poured out of the woman who threw open the door and entered grudgingly, "They had a sale on sweets across the market and I couldn't help myself." In truth to what she confessed bags of candy and sweets were held in her hands as a single lollipop was held against her lips, grazing the tops of her night-black scarf.

"How are you little brother?" Alais turned her head to look at Levi as she sat across from him just a few chairs away from Erwin.

"Don't waste air," _Bad day. _Alais who again seemed unaffected only replied with a firm nod which made Levi wonder if this was why others thought they were siblings, _Mirror images of each other. _Maybe this was why he told others they were twins because it was impossible to not believe, horrendously so.

He shook the thoughts of her away and focused on the task at hand. While he had been dozing off on their conversation it seemed as if Erwin had given Alais an update on the formation that was going to occur soon. Levi felt a strange feeling pivoting in his stomach as he watched Alais continuously speak to Erwin, interested and motivated. She was moving closer to him now, to Erwin. Levi could feel his hands and fingertips grip onto the mug tightly now oblivious to the force until a small crack appeared on the porcelain mug.

"Alais," He gritted his teeth together in hidden secret as her eyes turned onto him, "Your progress," His words were an uncaring command which held no emotional attachment, just how he_ liked_ it.

She looked like a Christmas tree to him, dazzling and bright, almost blinding just as she had shown him long ago. Just as the one he had found in Alais' home everyday on Christmas. She had become a speeding wagon in a millisecond as her fingers ruffled around in the pocket of her new uniform. From out of the beige and small compartment she pulled a single vile that held a strange liquid as red as blood as it hit oxygen and painted a picture on the surface of this world.

"It takes time to get enough concentration of the chemical and this was the product, small yet lethal. The original colour of this chemical is not red yet I've had it tainted this way so that it is visible to all and no unfortunate," No remorse, "Accidents occur. The rate of death could spike 0.2% do be careful of those who digest things they should not it would be tedious to produce more."

"Could you have more ready by the next week?" The 57th expedition was just a week away and if things were going to go exactly as planned this would be the biggest success yet, but they needed that Chemical. If it does exactly as she says then the chances of death by dull blades or inadequate strikes becomes minimal.

Another nod from her had him standing up and heading for the door without another word leaving the two _siblings _on their own.

"Do you believe that this will bring hope?" She couldn't believe the words that had left her lips as Lu's words replayed in her head, words of wisdom and experience.

"No matter what you do," He started calmly, "Their will not be hope, you'll get close but never there," His eyes narrowed at the wall in front of him as he stood, pushing the chair back and setting down the mug in his hand, "Only a person with no hope would believe that."

Alais wasn't offended, she found that typical and a boring human reaction, "I do have hope," She revealed her lips curving into a childish loving and excited smile, a rarity for anyone but the man in front of her yet her smile changed he noted, it was no longer wide and unforgettable but instead childish and-mischievous-impish as it was small and barely there, "I have hope that you will forever have hope."

For a strange reason his heart was beating uncontrollably and a fluttering feeling erupted in his chest when he left that room and never looked back. A sense of duty, a sense of being responsible to respond that he felt the same way, but he didn't. She didn't have hope, she could never. And thus begins the struggles of denial as the not-so-young male begins to realize what a friendship like his and hers could do for you after so long apart. It can awaken_ things_.

_And after this he'd try to ignore her as much as he could. He barely spoke to her and when she spoke to him it often led to an awkward silence inviting itself in. With only three days left counting till the 57th expedition, no one had much time for anything anymore. Especially not petty **jealousy **-Not that he knew or even would admit, that would make him an idiot. And we all know that Levi Ackerman is **far** from an idiot._

* * *

**_The official ending of my own self made arc is about to come to an end and soon I'm going to start to follow the anime and manga. Is anyone else waiting for the new season to come out? I don't know if it's just me but I've watch anime since I was nine and every time an anime is renewed for a second season I get all jittery, especially Tokyo Ghoul and Attack on Titan or SnK two good animes and mangas about to have another season, this is heaven. On another note, did anyone else watch that new episode of the walking dead? I nearly died from happiness. The whole entire time I felt like yelling I love you to every single character because it was that epic. I'll stop typing now._**

Past Hauntings Arc - Coming to an End soon

_**Cheers.**_


	32. Testing

**_Little bit of a long chapter in my perspective. Alais officially meets Levi's squad (About two days before the 57th expedition, I know, I'm evil) Not all of Levi's squad will speak, not great with dialogue on their part, kind of easy for Oluo, just write an idiot :) Excuse this chapter, to me it just doesn't do it for me but oh well, it's your decision. I have decided, romance will start after the expedition and will be pushed by something happening. Not going to say what will happen. Sneeze you people later~_**

* * *

_And in the limited time she had, she worked and worked. Worked till her bones were stiff and her eyes couldn't stay open. 'When I found out why, it was stupid, weird and unnatural all at once,' He scribbled down with one hand while the other was wrapped around a squirming object, 'You're use to the half-assed answers when you're in the corps, people run everyday but not her, no, she'd never fall into that-not her.'_

_To make sure he's safe. _The vile shook in her hand, eyes struggling to hold onto the slim awareness she had as the liquid blue contents merged with a creamy white. Lighting a candle next to her, she dragged it over and held the beaker over it. She tried to ignore the burning feeling it gave her hands and still kept her grip tight, refusing to stop. Her hand felt as if it were on fire, her skin sizzling a light red as if it were baking.

"Don't move," She reminded herself as she waited for the liquid to become a clear crystalline colour. She shuffled closer to the corner she was situated in as she tried to hold in the hisses of pain when she heard Levi turn in his sleep.

Once the liquid hinted at a crystalline colour she shot her hand away in a flash pushing the candle away as much as she could, ignoring her burnt hand as it smoked slightly. She was careful not to drop the liquid as she held it in her injured hand. Her good hand moved forwards as she kept her eyes on the deadly acid in her hand. Leaning forward slightly she pulled the crushed powder towards the beaker and carefully drizzled it on top refusing to let herself blink.

A breath was released the moment the powder and the liquid laid flat simply dissolving one another. She couldn't let it be able to burn skin, so the only way to test if it wouldn't was to use herself as a lab rat and so she did, the burn mark on her hand was evidence of the failure that had been disposed of. The second she sucked in a breath and prepared to pour the liquid on her forearm a hand shot out and stopped her.

"What are you doing?" Levi hissed one hand grasping her wrist while the other rubbed his eye tiredly.

"Testing," Alais murmured back and shuffled under his gaze of scrutiny. Before the woman could think the beaker was snatched out of her hand and placed down on the counter top with the rest, hands grasping her forearms and pulling her upwards. The action took her by surprise as she stumbled to try to find her footing.

"Stay still," Levi moved to the side and grabbed a small box, pushing it towards her as he looked away in annoyance, "Use this," He peeked a look at her and watched her stare curiously at the white box, "It'll be...annoying if you can't pick up your swords because of petty burns."

"I'm fine," The girl rejected the object, pushing it back towards him and turning to leave when he shoved it back in her face more forcefully.

"Take it," She blinked and shook her head trying to move away from him yet he blocked everywhere she turned. In a form of over exaggeration, their limbs had begun to tangle, Alais trying to duck under him yet he ducked too blocking her once more till the girl had no where left to turn.

"A-" Alais blinked and bit her thumb with a hum, "-Alright," She moved forward resting her hands atop the box, one below while the other was on top. She was hesitant when she began to yank on the box and couldn't help but notice when he stared at her burn and scarred hand. In a millisecond of self-doubt, she wondered how fast she could get away before the skin began to repair itself.

"Are you doing this because Erwin said for you to?" The question was forceful and accompanied by a hard stare on his part.

She wondered why he asked for a moment, definitions of emotions and human traits swirling in her mind that she tried to pin to this moment but all she came in front of was a large and overbearing question mark. She shook the question mark out of her mind and sat down in a special manner. She grabbed the alcohol with her right hand shaking seeing as she was left-handed. Just as the alcohol was going to drizzle on her burnt skin Levi snatched it out of her hand and yanked her forearm towards him, no words leaving his mouth as he began dressing her wounds.

"You're useless," He murmured eyes strained on the challenge in front of him.

She didn't dare speak and with fascinated eyes she watched him wrap her marred skin and drop her arm once he was finished uncaringly. He'd expected her to cry out in pain as her arm fell to her thigh but she didn't make a sound, instead she kept her steel eyes on the dressed wound. Slowly and mesmerizing she lifted her hand in the air and observed the way the bandages seemed to be perfectly wrapped and smoothed. She could feel her stiff muscles and red skin fading slowly as she wiggled her slightly burnt fingers.

"Don't do things for him," He stood to walk over to the window and opened the covers letting the overbearing sun shine brightly in the sky. He felt his face go cold and lips curve downwards at this moment. He didn't know why he was saying this, he didn't know why he helped her, excuses that he held couldn't justify anything.

There was a part in his mind that hissed at him saying she could have done it for herself accompanied by his thoughts that agreed numbly. Numbly, because they were weak of continuing this charade. No, his personality wasn't a charade, it could never be but Alais made it numb. He didn't want that more importantly that he couldn't play the role of a brother, he was an only child he didn't know the first thing about having any sibling.

"I wasn't," He kept his eyes outside as he watched her reflection in the mirror, "I would be correct to deny you," Her naturally deep voice lulled almost as if she were humming, "When I say that I only ever do things for you."

She stood up and walked over to him at a respectable distance as she stared outside the window. For some reason he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder and the image of her talking _eccentrically_ with Erwin faded from his mind as an image of her standing next to him at this moment replaced it. His shoulders relaxed and eyes stared at nothing in particular.

Alais release a breath when he shifted and looked and her blankly before looking back out the window watching as a group made up of four people all male except one female tended to their horses, "Erwin has requested for you to meet the Special Operations Squad," He watched her tilt her head in the reflection of the mirror, "Since I'm the leader I'll have to show you to them."

When she watched his line of sight she found the very people he was talking about walking back towards HQ all seemingly enjoying each others company. Alais grimaced slightly and reach to grab a lollipop, placing it in her mouth as she calmed down.

Levi made his way away from the window and gestured for her to follow him without a word, and she did. She walked along side her only ever friend with deep-set footsteps and hands that were tucked into her 3DMG-less pants. She could feel the steam rising off of her burned hand and sighed shuffling her feet closer together as they made their way to a set of large doors. Alais stood back as Levi made his way towards the doors and pushed against them in his own pace and walked out with Alais following behind him silently blissful.

Her feelings of bliss dwindled when she met his team, they spoke loudly and easily almost as if it were second nature yet Alais just stood off to the side with a slight tilt of her head. She let out a deep breath and fixed her scarf higher on her face.

Alais stared downwards before looking back up to the sky with hooded eyes. The sun had begun to disappear behind clouds of dark grey and the sky was more moist than it had been before.

"Alais," Petra called out to the girl with a delicate smile on her face, "What do you do on your free time?"

_Free time? _Levi saw the way her head tilted and her eyes were clouded with confusion and interest at the girl who had dared walk up to her. No one would usually want to talk to Alais because her appearance would drive them away as well as her blunt attitude. This is why he choose this team because they didn't worry about little things like appearances and attitudes, after all, they had to_ deal_ with him.

Alais subconsciously started to lean closer to Levi as she shuffled her feet and brushed some pieces of dust off her sleeves. For a second, a look of something crossed Petra's face before she smile almost sadly with a shy undertone.

"I don't believe in free time," The socially awkward girl replied unblinking surprising Petra with how deep and dulled her voice sounded, "I believe in..." She thought about it longer than she should have, "...thinking."

Instead of turning away from her like most had Petra only beamed towards Alais' direction stunning the girl for a millisecond. When Petra moved closer to Alais, she shuffled back and away from the ginger haired girl plopping a lollipop in her mouth when her scarf fell.

"Wow..." Petra whispered in awe when she caught the face of the woman who shielded it away.

"Hey! You brat!" Oluo spat stomping over to Alais, "How dare you steal Corporals face!"

Petra sighed, her hand slapping against her forehead as she tripped the thundering man, "Oluo," She chased, "Stop trying to be like Corporal Levi you'll never be him, how many times do I have to say that? And you're being mean to Alais, apologize."

Oluo said nothing and instead hissed rubbing his forehead knowing that a bruise was forming there.

"Huh?" Alais mumbled lost and uncertain what to say, "Levi doesn't lose his temper like that," The woman hummed taking the lollipop out of her mouth with three fingers, "He believes in silent loathing although he will occasionally have a sprout of anger due to his size."

Levi's eyes narrowed in agitation, she had insulted herself-she insulted him. Clearly Petra had picked up on the insult that could also be directed at the short girl, "Uh, um," Petra smiled hesitantly, wondering if Alais had the same temper the Corporal had when it came to his stature, "Aren't you...lacking in stature too?"

Alais blinked and waved a hand in the air lazily, "Of course not," She denied her voice muffled when she placed the lollipop back in her mouth, "You're all just too tall, of course not you Levi, you're perfectly fine."

The man in question stopped his attack on the girl, placing his leg on the ground before it could hit her back with a grumble-that is until he lifted his leg up and gave her a hard kick on the back ignoring when she gave a grunt of pain, instead he chose to walk back into the HQ muttering something about kissing dirt.

_'I remember saying that there was something wrong with my brain. The little shit makes all the decisions it wants without my opinion,' He scowled when something was thrown at the back of his head and a gurgle of little giggles was heard, 'This little crap machine...'_

* * *

**_I really don't know if Petra would trip Oluo but oh well. How was it? I'm thinking about writing Levi's journal entries as a chapter further on, it would be filled with them, of course this is going to be after the climax hits and is going to reveal everything that Levi felt as it occurred. After the chapter with his entries will most likely be when the romance starts to actually show stronger. Did anyone else feel like Alais was being unintentionally sweet when she said that Levi was perfectly fine? Heh, oh Alais..._**

Past Hauntings Arc - Ending on chapter 34

_**Cheers.**_


	33. Gone

**_I was sick this whole time. I think I threw up my insides._**

* * *

_It was all just pretend. The gun shots were never wounds that burned deep into the skin of the fallen, because nothing was true. It was just a large quantity of did not. And yet the silence was given, it was handed out in an amount so large that it couldn't be ignored. No one could wish what they desired because just like many genes before you have done, they lie, they fool-they make a fool out of you. Your words were not wholesome, your ideas had holes and they showed you that. They showed you that lie in your own words, a lie that was mystified by your greed for something-anything and that anything doesn't matter because what did matter was it wasn't strong enough to be whole. Nothing is as it appears, even the words floating out of the tongue of the future._

Alais moved her head further down creating a curtain around her as she filled out stacks of death reports. She could hear everyone bustling around, although they were a small amount they were still loud enough to be heard through thick walls. When she came to the last death report and finished it her head collapsed down onto the desk. Her hands covered her eyes and she clenched her teeth together.

"Lu!" She called out in anger, "Can I have my candy now?!" When no one responded she lifted her head up and found herself in a lonely study crying for attention, "Lu?" Her voice didn't waver, not once, and her eyes only glanced around the room in mild curiosity, "I'm not ten Lu, I would know if I were. Stop playing games, that's for after I get my candy."

Still. Completely still. Had Lu never been there? She shook the notion out of her mind, he had been there. She imagined his face again, that annoyed look crossing his ever-so-smiling features as he ripped the lollipop out of her mouth and threatened to take her stash away if she didn't complete the papers. The door hadn't opened, she would have heard it.

"Lu? Oh Lu, Where are you?" She tried again with a silly rhyme calling out to the empty room. She'd never get her response when a loud scream of shrill panic hit her ears.

_"Levi?" Erwin stood tall behind his desk as he looked down at the short male in front of him, "The expedition is just a day away."_

_Levi raised his eyebrow in question and nodded his silent answer waiting for Erwin to continue his unnecessary speech._

_"Do you know who the monsters are?" Levi's eyebrows furrowed in irritation as his lips curled downwards, what's with everyone and talking about monsters? Yet the man did know who the monsters were, everyone. Everyone was a monster in their own way, humans, titans, and...others._

_"Everyone," The man answered glancing off to the side as he crossed his arms over his chest. He shifted slightly when he knew Erwin was staring at him intently._

_Erwin nodded strongly with a slight smile curving on his lips, "I'm glad we're on the same page."_

_When silence fell over the room once more it was interrupted when Erwin let out a breath, anxiety coating over his features yet perfectly concealed. Erwin, in the back of his mind knew nothing was going to go right, this expedition was going to be a tricky one and just like every single one they've been on, it would be pointless because all they did was protect merchant items when they should be collecting information on titans._

_"I expect you to keep this a secret," He started off fixing a stack of paper that Levi had been eyeing for a little over a minute with a slight smile that couldn't be seen, "Alais is not being truthful."_

_"I kn-" Levi was cut off when Erwin sat down in his chair with a loud thump, staring at Levi with narrowed eyes._

_"I want you to get the information out of her, and when you do relay it back to me. Humanity rests on you doing so." Ah, the guilt trip._

_Levi's face consorted with some sort of hidden furry. Humanity already rested on him enough, now it was eating at him again? It took Levi a moment before he could answer. His heart speed up and he had no idea why. Maybe it was the idea of stealing Alais' secrets, especially in that one book she commanded him to never open. Just what could be her secret? Was it hidden in that single book that she told him to open when the time came?_

_"Of course, __**sir**__."_

Alais ran out of her room and onto the clean and tidy-into a street where those who remained were screaming and being slaughtered in front of her. Her eyes widened a fraction; barely visible when she saw a small child watching his mother being killed by a man with a gun-a man with a rose on his shoulder. Her body shook and her eyes wavered, staring back and forth between the constant screams and children's cries for help.

A gun went off next to her. She found herself staring at a body of a small boy, barely ten gazing at her with dead eyes, dull and lifeless just like her own. Except he would never wake up. Breathing deeply, she looked up and met when the other end of a barrel.

The man holding the gun grinned wickedly, muttering something about putting monsters out, extermination. Alais was sure this was her last moment on earth, yet just as she was going to fight it out a crack and thump of a body made her eyes turn.

"мастер Ala!" A mop of blond hair blinded her vision when she was picked up and thrown over someone's shoulder, "мастер Ala! We must get away quickly!" His tall frame ran with all his might, past the village and across the narrow path. When they reached a forest he set her down and checked over her body, unnecessarily.

"I am sorry, мастер Ala," The man pleaded staring down at her frozen hollowed eyes that refused to blink, "I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry, мастер Ala," He ran his hand across his face and buried his head in his hands with a choking sob. His eyes widened when a hand pushed his head up forcing him to see cold eyes, cold and traumatized eyes.

"Stop speaking," It was supposed to be a command, but all it came out to be was a quite soft whisper.

"I can't," He choked out again, "I am sorry, мастер Ala if I had just-"

"Lu?" Alais cut him off refusing to blink again. Lu's face was coated with the first tears she had ever seen him shed. When she blinked, things changed, she didn't like that, "Can I have my candy now?"

_The day of the expedition would hit them hard, yet Alais was prepared. Her whole village was officially whipped out the only ones who remained were Annie, Reiner and Bertolt and herself. Lu was with her but he was an outsider, who had never came from their village, he was a human, an innocent, loving human. 'Didn't talk,' Levi scribbled down and gripped the quill tighter in his grasp, 'Not a word except for one single thing before it all began, just thinking about it makes my head hurt.'_

* * *

**_I suppose you could call this a traumatized Alais who's trying to forget. This actual isn't as unrealistic as I had originally thought because in one day, something can end. It wasn't only in one day actually because the village had been attacked before, now it's just being attacked again. Alot of factors will occur that will change Alais' perspective of things, maybe make her hateful, maybe open her up a little bit but that all depends on what her future is going to give her and Alais knows her future is not great and never will be. See you later._**

Past Hauntings - Coming to an end

_**Cheers.**_


	34. A Step Forward

Alais had her head held downwards as they lined up on their horses, all in their designated sections, yet Alais was at the front. Everyone knew that those who were in the front flank never lasted and it made her angry. It made her believe that they wanted something out of this, yet she knew better than to accuse anyone especially when it came to Levi, she would never be able to get those words of accusation out.

"Stop staring," She dropped her gaze down to the horse whose head was turned in her direction with a glare, it wanted to throw her off and Alais wanted nothing to do with it. Animals never smelt good, actually when she thought about it, they didn't smell at all, absolutely nothing.

The animal neighed and remained where it was stationed with its head held high. Alais let out a breath of reluctant annoyance and looked away from the cursed animal. The seasons had begun to change from cold to a delicate summer, the breeze soft and inviting. Alais felt for her scarf and held it further over her mouth with downcast eyes at the sight of Levi.

He sat still on his horse as he look forward. Alais itched to bit her lip yet withheld herself and felt all the colour drain from her face when she remembered eyes just like hers dead and lifeless. She whipped her head around and sucked in a breath, calming down within a millisecond when she caught his gaze again. With all the will she had left, she made her way over to him not a smile nor a frown on her face knowing that her eyes had become duller with the force of yesterday.

"Levi?" Alais called out to the still man as she stared at his back. Turning around he watched her speak for the first time in a long time.

"Can-Can I see my book once more?" He was foolish to think that she would say something else. The child in him had begun to scuff claiming that the book was all she cared about.

Without hesitating, as if he wanted it gone-he gave it over with a toss. When the book flew through the air and came into contact with her hands she felt relief knowing that it could have never been open because _that _never fell out. She turned the cover away from her and opened the book back-first.

"There you are," It was an almost tender sentence that a mother would whisper to her child when finding them again, "Am I allowed to say something, _sir_."

She felt the others gaze into her back but she didn't care about them, all she cared about was Levi. Fiddling with the reigns of the saddle she blinked once, a long blink before she opened her eyes to look at him.

"There is a high chance that I will not come back." She gave him a knowing look, turning around to leave when he called out to her.

"You're-" She cut him off before he could respond. She tilted her head slightly and looked behind her shoulder with an accepting gaze.

"I'm tired Levi," She confessed trying to sound sincere but all that came out was a dull and non-convincing statement, "I'm so tired. You don't have to be, you'll know the perfect choices, you'll live the best life you could live. It's amusing that it's taken me this long to discover that after mother died. I apologize for being a burden."

His hand began to reach out towards her, simply with a twitch of his fingertips but when he looked back at her something behind her caught his gaze, Erwin. Levi froze his actions and dropped his hand back to his side forcing himself to look forward.

"Transparent," Alais muttered moving back to the front as she placed a lollipop in her mouth feeling tiredness creep up behind her. Releasing a breath she looked up to the sky when a flock of birds soared south. She reached one last hand towards them and held it there.

"...thirty seconds till the gate opens!" She clenched the vial in her hand tighter, hiding it from Erwin's gaze.

"From this moment, humankind takes another step forward." Alais blinked away all her troubles and focused her gaze forwards when the gate began to open. Clenching her teeth against the lollipop she felt her gaze shake when she blinked and blood coated the ground. When she blinked again it was gone and the command to move forward was given.

* * *

_**Past Hauntings Arc has officially ended and now I'm going to move into the anime/manga arcs starting where the expedition begins skimming it and getting right into the female titan arc. I apologize for not uploading, I was lazy. Prepare for a flashback in the next chapter.**_

Past Hauntings Arc - Completed

**_Cheers._**


	35. Can't say it

He forced his eyes to not move in her direction and before the call could be let out he felt something in the palm of his hand. A sweet, cherry red. Delicately placed on the palm of his hand appeared the second he opened it. His lips parted slightly as he let out a breath of air feeling something pound against his chest.

_"Shh, Levi," Alais murmured unnecessarily. Levi huffed and scooted closer to her as she peaked out the crack of the door, her little hands cupping the surrounding area of her eyes. Squinting, he tried to look through the hole with her but she didn't budge. A scowl fell on the boys lips as he waited for her to finish looking out the small closet._

_"I don't see anyone," Her eyebrows furrowed when she looked towards him and back out the opening._

_"Then can we get out now," Levi grunted uncomfortably, "It's awkward and warm in here."_

_"But..." Alais began in protest, shaking her head softly in confusion, "We're suppose to play hid from the titan, where's everyone?"_

_Levi pulled his legs to his chest and let his chin rest atop his knees, "I don't know Alais. Maybe they just took a break! A snack break?" His head perked up and eyes glimmered in hope at the thought he had._

_"They would have called us, right Levi?" Alais questioned as she fiddled with her thumbs._

_"Ah..." His head sunk back to his knees as he cradled them closer and closed his eyes, "Alais..." He murmured between half-lidded eyes, "Do-" He hesitated for a moment before stuffing his face further into his knees, "-Do you think they lied to us?"_

_She was silent, for just a moment she couldn't think. Her mind went blank and she imagined them laughing and giggling. She should have seen the way they snickered behind their backs and the whispers of harsh words, "Forgot," She tried to convince herself, "Us."_

_Alais turned to look at Levi and found her eyes widening in the slightest at his shaking form. Alais tried to move around as quietly as she could in the small dark closest, stretching her arms out towards him, "Levi?" She hesitated and instead chose to move back not knowing her own boundaries._

_"What is it Alais?" He asked hoarsely, looking up to her before turning away to stare at an empty, dark wall._

_"I'm tired," She whispered as she curled into a ball in one of the corners of the closet._

_"Then go to sleep Alais," She shook her head wildly and in the most timid voice he had ever heard her speak, she responded._

_"Not that kind of tired," She clenched her little fists, "I don't want to be friends with them."_

_"That's mean Alais," Levi responded ironically. Alais blinked and released a deep breath as she turned to look at Levi through the dark room. Her gaze went unnoticed by the boy until she spoke up in a silent whisper._

_"Their annoying," Alais traced the ground beneath her hearing Levi shuffle, "They aren't nice, they lied to us, to you. They deserve to rot Levi. It can just be you and I."_

_"Alais!" Levi harshly whispered at her for the first time. Flinching back involuntarily Alais tried to speak up but he cut her off, "You don't have to say those things! Of course it's just you and I but don't say that."_

_She recoiled and nodded even if he couldn't see it, "For you, anything."_

_He'd stare silently while waiting in that small closet, waiting for her to open that door because it was suffocating. She didn't mean that, he'd realize. It was true that he never believed what she said, how could one person isolate herself so much? He'd fall asleep pondering that simple fact yet never find that answer, at least the answer he wanted. _

_The closet peaked light, he could see her shadow touch the floor and her pale, skin and bone hands wrap themselves on the door, pulling light in. But light never touched him, at least that's what he thought. _

_"How long?" He began to stand up, feet pressing against the ground as he rubbed his eyes. Nothing was real, she'd stare at him, nothing could ever be._

_"Always," That was the truth, for the first time, she'd told him the truth and he knew it because she gave him that gaze that he'll never notice till she was never there._

_"I'm going to ask why," He informed her pushing his way past her. He didn't want to have to look at her in the eyes. She would stand there and only take it._

_"I know," The scarf would tighten around her face and she'd play with the hem of her white silk dress, "It's okay," She looked down, then back up, "Say it."_

_"Why do you only think it's us?" He didn't make sense. He knew the moment she tilted her head and shuffled her feet that she knew as well, so he'd clear his throat strangely and look away._

_"Because I only love you," She would speak in a cold tone, so cold that he couldn't trust it. Was she lying? Did she love someone else but couldn't show it? Was he stopping her?_

_"Oh," He breathed and shut his eyes. Of course he could never say he loved her back when he couldn't even tell what love was, what her-what she loved. So the two friends would stand their, front to back, Alais to Levi and nothing would ever be right in this world._

_She'd walk past him, all-knowing with her head never held too high because she knew her purpose in life and she didn't try to change that, she was cattle and all she'll ever be was that._

A little note was attached to that pretty little treat she knew he would never eat. It was so small that he could have missed it if he blinked. Grabbing it with only two fingers he brought it up to his face and began to fold open the note. In calligraphy a single message was conveyed, one that made his heart ache again and again:

_'I Love You.'_

He couldn't say it back, he never could.

* * *

_**Ouch that was...rough...**_

_**I told you all Alais would be the first to say I love you and Levi would be reluctant and not be able to say it. Poor Levi, it'll be the worse decision in his life not to at least stop her. Prepare for heartaches and revelations. **_

First person chapter ~ next. Excuse it's suckiness.

_**Cheers.**_


	36. This was your Mother

**_Dear Guest (Because sadly you do not have a username); _**

**_Your review has to be the most insightful review that I have ever had the honour of being graced with. The fact that you pay attention between the fine details and understand that their is a boundary that cannot be cross is simply invigorating. Nothing like half assed people nowadays (of course not my readers I'm talking about real life people). Your review made me look at my story in a new light. I want to make this fanfiction after reading the majority of fanfictions out there. Now it always comes down to this; I read a fanfiction and I say, 'Okay, I like it,' then suddenly it takes a new light, adding characters that don't make a difference and are completely useless or they just seem to not grasp the Canon characters anymore. I'm not saying that I've perfectly portrayed characters but I do feel more confident in writing Levi simply because of the similarities we hold although in a daily basis I'm being forced to act nice, he just has the freedom I don't have. I guess that's what really drove me to write this; misinterpretation. After this fanfiction I'll most likely go read some more fanfiction on another character, this character is probably going to be misinterpreted and the oc that's practically being shoved with them won't fit who they are and will drive me into writing one for them. It's always been this way and I'm glad you picked that up. You don't suck._**

**_Prepare to hate me for the second time._**

**_This chapter is in Levi's POV._**

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_Never returning was something that they both held close to their hearts. Yes, that's right...no return. A boundary cannot be crossed, especially if it is the boundary of their past; cold as ice and encased in titanium. Maybe it was the fact that he could never openly express love, or the fact that the mere touch of someone was enough to make him recoil and sneer in disgust-why must it always be touch? Maybe; or just maybe, it was all her fault. Little old Alais who didn't stop torturing him._

Something didn't feel right. The sun was still bright in the sky but it was too calm, the calmness couldn't settle right with me no matter how much I tried. Even breaths were all that I could hear but they were louder than normal, I realized that they were my breaths, me breathing stronger than needed. It might have been the shadows of the trees-the darkness that reminded me of haunting dreams and past faults.

_Maybe nothing will happen? _The possibility of a peaceful expedition was laughable, unheard of.

I decided to only watch my surroundings cautiously burning away any thoughts that would have been a hindrance to the expedition. Erwin's formation burned itself into my mind as I tried to remember exactly where I would be right now, would I be in the middle, off to the side or no where in sight?

But I knew where Alais was. I knew what she was, bait. I could visualize her face, accepting just as a lamb. She'd argue with her horse, calling it stupid and a fool but that was normal since she had never been good with animals, she hated them and they hated her. The horse wouldn't listen to Alais and I knew what she'd do next, she'd kick the horse, anger it and it'll anger her in the worst way possible, it'll throw her off her horse and leave her to fend for herself. A titan would come, a titan would attack and for some reason my thoughts imagined her on flat land, she couldn't escape as it-

"Corporal?"

"What is it?!" I snapped realizing the look that Eren gave me. Confused, just like a puppy.

"You were spacing out," Eren bit back with a flinch turning to look at Petra with another look, something that I didn't want to connect to anything.

"Were you worried about Alais, Corporal?" I could hear the caution underlining Petra's words yet she didn't take them back. _It feels like Alais isn't here anymore, as if she never was._

I guess I could blame the distance, blame it all on the past that I held with her because my weak child mind let her into my world. She let me into hers but it was different, I was an open book and she was the closed one that no one wanted to open. What was my answer? I could have thought of the answer for years, a petty excuse-a lie or the horrible truth. No, I'm not worried, she can take care of herself. I feel ill is all. Ill to the bone because I keep seeing a mangled body where ever I look. I wondered if it would be quieter when Alais wasn't there long ago but now I just can't seem to find that peace.

"Ne-" Something wasn't right. The clouds in the sky, as thin as they had been were clearing out now and an object floated freely in the sky. I would have thought it was a bird if I didn't see the absence of flapping wings.

_'Did you see my airplane float in the sky?' _She giggled childishly in my ear, _'I bet you it'll reach you one day.'_

A lick of awe was hidden from the world as the damned memories-no thoughts found its way into my mind in a hidden haze. What was I thinking? What was I letting myself _think_? Involuntarily-I think-my eyes narrowed on their own as my breathing continued on, no point in killing my lungs by holding my breath anyway. In that exact moment something strange happened, almost as if the wind allowed itself to stop and wait silently for _something_ to happen-anything.

_It allowed the object to embrace the ground._

The wind dropped. It stopped blowing across the land and that small airplane came crashing down faster than I ever thought something could, almost as fast as Alais on her nimble feet. A flash of a white flag fell with the object as its front came face first with the ground. The horse I was on kicked its front legs up in shock as it neighed in fear. I placed my hand on the side of his neck and he instantly calmed down, a trick I had learned from experience.

I didn't dare get off my horse when my squad gave a series of startled sounds of shock. I don't think I even dared to breathe when my eyes grew blank at the sight of splattered vibrant blood, fresh and still dripping on that lifeless white flag.

Something was choking me, suffocating me. For some reason, I knew that this wouldn't be the end. No wonder something wasn't right, Alais' words had jumbled themselves in my mind and I should have realized every single connection to a life long ago.

I couldn't call out her name anymore. Never hear that response that lit up every doubt I had about my fathers love for me because she replaced him. She took his place and _never_ left it unlike he did.

"C-Corporal? What was that?" Petra stuttered with wide eyes. I didn't react, not one flinch, not one twitch of the eye, and no recoil. Only a single stare thrown towards the ugly object on the floor, crushed and mended with forested material.

I was lost to her words when I was drawn into a vision. A child, young with glimmering night black hair and dulled grey eyes stared up at me as we stood on a hill, a small headstone placed on the ground. _The place of a mother, a lonely soul and a lost cause _it would read. That unknown child would curl up into my side and I wouldn't hold him. My hand would be placed on his head and my fist would clench mouthing words with meaningless boundaries, _'This was your mother.'_

_Just like she, he'd just nod, no tear, no cry for his mother because he knew._

_He knew since the moment he was born._

_"Life is just too cruel."_

_He called her words, her actions, and her thoughts torture but he had yet to realize the true pain he brought on the one person who could have loved him like no one else. It's true that Alais blindly told him she loved him although she didn't know what love was but she saw nothing wrong. Alais had a theory, since both her and Levi didn't know what love was, why couldn't they teach each other? Alais loved learning off of Levi, even if she didn't know why, she loved the idea of it alone-The idea that she didn't know and she would never made her feel warm inside._

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**_Ouch. We are going to be brought to where Alais is in the next chapter and then this chapter will make complete sense. After all, what kind of author would I be if I rushed this? I love dragging out the pain for you sorry readers._**

**_Cheers._**


	37. Abstracted glory

**_I wanted to try a more...Literature(?) approach in this chapter because I'm going to draw in emotions from that aspect. The whole point of this chapter is to make you wonder why and question the little bits of detail you're being given. This chapter is a little longer than most since I did want to include a flashback which ended up being longer than I thought. You are allowed to hate me for a good reason in this chapter but what fun is there if there is no drama, dullness is not amusing enough. The hating me will come to an end soon. I'm also debating if I should upload two chapters today, this and another. _**

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_To the little boy in her village who smiled everyday when she walked by, she'd speak a small thank you because no one had smiled at her that much for no reason. To the man she had grown to replace as her father she'd like to look at him once more but he was hidden. To the man who confused her and made her see things in a new light; Never change who you are._

_Dear past, present, and future; screw you and thank you._

Abstracted glory; given description to the scattered and fallen trees around the clearing. To be called strangely beautiful yet hauntingly frightening; fears warning. Her lips tasted a bitter coal when she licked them clear of their dry state. Alais' body fell flat to the ground, her back hitting the soft grass crushed by large foot prints. A single cough of pain left her lips when her lungs began to contract and her ribs mended themselves back together.

They'd often said that the most simplistic tasks made their days brighter-her village. Children would run around the streets, feet picking up the mud that their bootless feet couldn't miss. She longed for that feeling of simply running around the street without a care in the world as the wind tickled your skin and the sound of laughter burned away any exhaustion. In a fleeting glance, she turned her head and watch the golden mane run off into the distance. In the inside she felt herself scowl as she tried to think of anyway to get out of this-situation.

She was horseless. Alais felt the wind shift under her feet when she tried to stand again, tried and tried till her bones had finally shifted back into place and she could properly find her footing on the ground. When her body stumbled upright she swayed and felt for her gear only to feel nothing where something use to lay. Appearing unaffected, Alais moved to get away and almost fell into a large footprint when she didn't watch where she was going.

"Levi?" She called out hopelessly in a sense at the baron and empty land, no human in sight, "Levi?" Her voice wavered.

He wouldn't come. It took her longer than normal to figure out that she could call all she wanted but he'd never come. For a single moment, as her feet began to pad softly on the ground, she wondered if he was thinking about her. She tried to think of a way back but all that did was make her head hurt and her splutter coughing. Her lungs burned with the feeling of repulsed dread when her palm was coated in a layer of thick red.

It was calm, strangely. She couldn't recall any moment of her life when it was this calm, when it had only been her and her breathing. She liked it yet she hated it. She tried to shake off her worries replacing it with thoughts of the past but all that came to her mind was a sneering child calling her a murderer. She felt herself flinch and wondered why, brushing it off as a reaction, a simple reaction that instincts gave birth to.

Alais let her mind go blank for a second as she looked up to the sky, peaceful and contempt. Somehow, finding answers to things that she wanted escaped her. For a second she saw a cloud take the shape of a small plane and jolted out of her state of silence. Her eyes widened, _of course. _She broke off into a run reaching the dense forest as she peeled and plucked everything she could grabbing stems of grass and decaying flowers; pieces of broken wood. She ran back to where she had been. She hadn't seen the severed head on the floor of a girl with wide eyes and tanned skin.

Her shortened intakes of air were nothing on her mind as she coughed coming to a stop. Collapsing down to the ground, she quickly put together the object designing it as she saw fit...

She was so close when a scream whipped through the air, and a giant body threw itself into the clearing, setting its sights on her.

"Not yet," She voiced tumbling to her feet, holding the object as close to her as possible. Her deep breaths nicked the tips of her fallen scarf making her shake her head to breathe clearer.

_She wondered if he'd notice. _

She broke out into a run, stumbling over her own two feet as she made her way across the clearing, trying to get into the dense forest filled with tall trees so she could hide herself. For some strange reason she didn't care anymore. The feeling of dread she had always carried wherever she went disappeared the more she ran but the more she ran, the farther she couldn't help but feel. She gulped a little and looked down to the ground with an invisible smile, her mouth open slightly.

A large shadow crossed her vision and shielded herself from the sun. When she looked up she could only see a single foot come crashing down towards her. In the last-minute she sprung to the side and leaped out-of-the-way. Holding her ground she glanced once more at the Titan and turned back around, feet pounding against the ground again.

_Like a deer in the headlights, she was meeting her fate. Head-on. _

She could feel his eyes on hers, watching her wherever she went, "What am I feeling?" She wondered out loud. He couldn't actually see her. With a single shake of the head, the past became present to her and everything that she had ever known molded itself together, creating one large jumble of scattered thoughts and obscured memories.

"Mother?" She saw her mother at the edge of the forest of tall trees, staring at her with a gentle smile. Alais ran faster now, her hand trying to stretch out and grab the mother who she had killed in blind anger. Her eyes told a story that couldn't be read, maybe the pages had been burned or maybe they drowned themselves in water. Bitterly maybe she held the second call she would make to her imagining a man by her side. He was a faceless man of black and white, gold charm hanging on the wrist he held out to her and the grey smile that held warmth and security. She had made a horrible decision.

_She had acted for the first time in her life, no thought, just actions._

Just when her hand was a millisecond from holding onto the faceless mans undoubtable soft and warm hands, a piece of herself was torn away the moment a hand swung and snatched her from the ground. With wide, frozen eyes she watched the ground become farther away from her, she watched her _mother _sneer at her and cackle watching her now helpless daughter, she watched the envisioned man stare blankly with soulless dead eyes, that charm on his hand that she couldn't look away from dangling lifelessly.

_He never believed her._

She couldn't turn now. She just couldn't. If she did the plan would come crashing to the ground, the woman blinked and squirmed in the hold of the grinning Titan. Alais shook around before she felt another hand wrap itself around her torso crushing it even more. Struggling to breathe, Alais pushed her way upwards trying to free her lungs.

For some strange reason she was brought back to a moment not long ago when the shifter Eren couldn't turn into his titan form, she hadn't known what was wrong with him. Usually titan-shifters didn't need a purpose to shift but then she remembered, long ago in her crueller times when she gave two people her modified blood, had it worked? Was he not a pure shifter?

_Fascination coursed through her body the second she glanced over at his hands, bandages wrapped around his hands courtesy of Petra yet they were not healing. The wounds had of course stopped bleeding but the absence of stem was foreign. Eren fidgeted under her gaze and adverted his eyes, fiddling with his hands. _

_"Eren?" Alais found herself calling out to him eyes boring into his evenly even when the shocked expression covered his features, "Has this happened before?"_

_He nodded with hesitance and spoke, eyes remaining on his bandaged hands, "It's happened but," His voice trailed on, "Not like this."_

_She stared for a while at his wide green irises not even caring if it could be called strange._

_"Alais," Eld called out since no one knew her last name. Said girl didn't spar him a glance, "You're scaring the boy."_

_"No I'm not," She retorted brushing him off. In a moment of thought she bounced to her feet and stretched out her back with a silent sigh of content before placing another one of her lollipops into her mouth fingering the object with two fingers._

_"Interesting," She murmured moving towards Levi, "The hand doesn't heal..."_

_Levi clenched the mug in his hand tighter at the rim and turned towards Eren, eyebrows scrunched, "If you can't turn into a Titan, your great deed of sealing Wall Maria will mean jack shit."_

_Alais fiddled with her fingers in thought as Petra casted her a glance of worry, "Alais?" She called out, "Are you alright?"_

_"I am," Came her short response when she gazed down to her own hands and turned them around, "Doesn't heal," She repeated thoughtfully._

_"I'm giving you an order. Do something about it," Levi commanded the wide eyed boy as his eyes narrowed._

_"Could it be something else?" Alais murmured to herself not knowing that Levi had heard._

_"Stop talking to yourself you'll just make yourself sound stupid," He spoke in agitation. _

_Alais blankly gazed at him with some sort of look plastered in her eyes alone till she turned around and walked away from the table, Levi, unconsciously following-not her though, he wasn't a pack mule._

_"What if the serum wasn't in full effect?" Alais questioned herself staring off into the distance feeling the lollipop get crushed between the grip of her teeth._

_Gnawing on her lips she fingered the scarf around her mouth remembering something her mother had told her long ago, 'If a shifter has a wound that is either slow in healing or in the process of healing make sure not to touch metal, metal is a shifters worst enemy when healing it'll cause the titan blood to go into a craze because the heat of the skin is exposed to something that can conduct heat in a flash.'_

_Turning on her heel, she faced Eren for a millisecond finding her eyes widen when he reached for the fallen metal spoon on the ground. Her heart pumped loudly as she raised her hand up to stop him but was too late when an explosion of greyish smoke busted out from where Eren had stood and pushed Levi's squad back. At first Alais didn't see anything wrong with it until she watched Levi's squad's eyes harden and their teeth clench together. Briefly she wondered if this was teamwork._

_"Stop," She raised her arms up and spread them out to block the squad as they prepared to attack Eren. Mentally Alais found herself chastising them, they didn't think before acting._

_"Calm down," Alais turned towards Eren knowing that Levi would stop them, "I said to calm down," He repeated watching as their bodies stiffened when he held his hand up and stopped them, "All of you."_

_"Don't look Eren," Alais commanded him but he looked anyways catching the stiff forms of his teammates, "I said don't look," Alais blinked twice and shifted, throwing the finished lollipop away._

_"Eren..." Eld growled between clenched teeth, "What just happened?!" Alais was ready to open her mouth and speak when a hand stopped her._

_"I..." He stumbled slightly on his words, "Don't..."_

_"Why'd you do that without permission?" He questioned and didn't wait long before impatiently yelling out an, "Answer me!"_

_It wasn't long before it escalated and the others spat out their demands while Levi called out for them to wait but not even he could get them to stop._

_"He couldn't help it," Alais spoke blandly when Oluo made the comment of decapitating Eren if he moved, "It's-"_

_"What do you-" Oluo belched out only to get cut off by Levi._

_"Let her talk."_

_"It's the titan blood and skin," She dropped her hands back down to her sides, "Because of the abnormal temperature of a titans skin it can easily conduct heat, and because Eren had touched a spoon, something that easily conducts heat he caused a spark to ignite fueling his titan blood."_

Frantically, a typical human reaction, she tried to think of a way out when she remembered tucking something into the pockets of her pants. _The vile._

Spluttering she sucked in a breath and stuffed her hand between herself and the Titans grasp. Stuffing her hands into her pocket, she pulled out the small vial and made sure it couldn't get on herself. Hastily she lifted the vial to her mouth and bit down on the cork, yanking it off and spilling the vile on the titans hands.

_Tides will bring me back to you, right?_

The Titan roared, its hand steaming and red as it struggled to repair itself but taking longer than normal it couldn't hold onto the girl who was dropping to the ground at an alarming rate. Desperate, the Titan substituted its hands for its mouth as it tried snapping at Alais only to have her swish her body to the side and crash to the ground.

The woman held in the grunt of pain she had built up in the back of her throat and instead shielded the plane, ripping a piece of her shirt-a white shirt and tied it onto the rear end of the plane, stumbling as her bones and skin repaired itself. The titan began to slowly burn away as the acid she produced traveled into his skin and bubbled the unique blood it held.

_She was ashamed of herself._

She positioned the plane and leaped into the air; a flare coal-black going off. Throwing it into the sky as her body crashed to the ground and she was forced to lie down on her back.

She was forced to view the sky above her as her neck stiffly laid itself on the ground and her head pounded louder than normal. She couldn't think properly, had the outcome of it all simply been the call of a blind man? She didn't want to disappear. Her breath began to shorten, eyes straining to stay open as the roaring Titan remained on the ground, fallen and immobile as it waited on its hands. She couldn't move. Stickily thick blood was running down her face making its way into her mouth choking her through blind rage, so fierce that she had to stop for a second and think, why? Why, why, why, why now? Why did her muscles bleed like a thousand kisses from the sun; like a mother who wouldn't stop doting on her child?

This couldn't be her deathbed, she refused to believe it. Her heart couldn't stop, she forced it to beat for him. _Him_. But her heart hurt, her head hurt. Why did it hurt? She hadn't felt physical pain this bad, not in a long time. It didn't make sense, the whys and the how's.

_Infatuation_; people thinking they are in love but when indeed it is just a deep lust or like for another person.

Why was she thinking of that word? She didn't feel infatuation, she wasn't attracted to him in a physical sense. Many before her wouldn't help but think of the same thing, yet if she told them it was for him, and him only not that _thing_ that coated him called skin they'd just laugh and call her stupid. Stupid. Never, she wouldn't fall into that class, she was smart, she _is_ smart and nothing would stop that not even the isolation she had driven herself into. If she had a second chance, a moment to come back again she'd try, try to know people other than him. Then, just maybe, could the fact of infatuation be whipped out of her mind.

She placed her fingers weakly to her lips and felt something shiver inside of her releasing a stuttering laugh. She remembered an insignificant moment so long ago but she couldn't remember the name of her own mother, "Pathetic."

She lifted her hand in the air hearing the thumps of loud feet come back at her and breathed one last breath, hand and body coated in blood, blood that refused to evaporate as the laugh of a figure laying on the ground died with the wind, stopped blowing and let the last memory of a standing titan engrave itself;

_Burn itself in a blonde swirl._

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**_I like to think of Alais throwing that plane as her last minute resort to get help yet we all know that it was futile because no one came to help (Sarcasm)_**

**_Blonde swirl, what could that be? :) I love screwing around with peoples minds. Who do you think was the blonde titan? Have you started hating me yet? I don't care but I am curious. You won't hate me for long but you will until we start getting into the revealing of the other titans shifters (Bertolt and Renier + Ymir)._**

**_Cheers._**


	38. Goodbye

_**I had a revelation that made me course with a sense of melancholy, I apologize, I'm still feeling it. Apparently I am feeling exactly how both Alais and Levi are feeling in this moment. I can't seem to shake off an impending doom.**_

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Why did it hurt? His chest was aching and his body felt as if it were shaking-but he wasn't shaking. The pain in his ankle didn't feel like the constricting pain that he felt looking down at the ground.

Milk blue, ice pale; a painted red masterpiece. How much did it hurt? He couldn't see himself in this moment, past thoughts clouding his vision. If he had been someone like her, would she have been alive now? Levi's gaze fell cold against the sight of the tethered limps and the smile-less face. He'd thought she would be someone to smile at death, smiling because she didn't need to force herself to become someone for him.

But the frown-the frown was clearly on her face but she never frowned. Never. He'd at least never been granted her frown, he'd always been the one with the frown but not now all he was, was blank.

_He's sorry._

What could have he had done? He'd be lying if he said he was _sorry_. Maybe it was better for her to resent him in the afterlife. He wanted to hear her curse him, curse the breath he breathed because she couldn't do the same or curse the very existence he held because she was deprived of that. Maybe if he hoped it enough and called out a simple, 'Stay' she'd be there in the morning and none of this would have happened. His team would be alive, well and she could keep by his side.

He adverted his eyes just enough to catch the shake of his hand and the flinching fingertips that clicked together irritably. _'...I love you.' _He watched that hand shake and quiver as he brought it up to eye level, trying to hold it back with his other hand but found that one shaking even more. Clenching his hands together he released a single breath, shutting his eyes before opening them again.

"Levi," Erwin called out, "I know this isn't settling well with you but we can take her body back and bury her."

Strangely, he couldn't help but think that she'd rather be left here and buried in these lands away from confinement. Levi was a selfish man at times, at these times. He didn't want that.

"Levi," He repeated, "Do you want to grab _it_ and bring_ it_ with the rest or would you like someone else to?"

_It? _She wasn't an _it _she was Alais, Alais would never and could never be an _it, _"No," He found himself hissing out as he crouched down to the ground, "Don't let their filthy hands touch her."

With ease he found his arms around her and the caked blood imprinting itself on his clothing, "It'll be alright."

How much times had it been? Three? Four? Maybe even Five? _It'll never be alright. _For the first time in his life he realized how great of a barrier there was between the two and he couldn't ever cross it. He thought for a moment if he could, what if he saw them?

He understood so much that it hurt. The swaying of her limp hair and the way her hands rolled off her stomach and hanged down lifelessly, the cold blue and purple lips accompanied by an overly pale-sickly pale flesh colour. He _knew_ so much.

He saw the sympathetic eyes that flashed in his line of sight, the cold air that was warm once had caressed the air. Hange stood a while back from where he was as he held his _sister _in his hands; dead. Levi didn't have to look twice to see her gaze of sorrow and sadness knowing that the rest of his team was dead and the _last _of his _family _was cradled in his arms, a lifeless bag of skin and bone.

Crossing her hands over her chest Hange hesitated to speak, her voice softer than normal, "Short stack?"

He didn't even respond.

Levi had always talked back to her, yelled at her but this time it was too silent. Was it normal for his mind to feel so numb? No call of annoyance, no hit of anger, no glare that could kill a man and no scuff of 'shitty-glasses'. Where, oh where have you gone? They're all dead. It was as simple as that, he couldn't feel the drive he needed to do anything but simply walk with the dead in his hand. Two times in one day he ignored dirt.

_I feel like a disaster._

In the span of his existence he had never given her anything, nothing maybe this was her payback, finally being gone for good.

He shook the thoughts out of his head and set her body down carefully with the rest, "Goodbye." A flash of a past shadow caught his eyes melting his vision, and held his attention for longer than he would have wanted.

_Eld._

_Gunther._

_Oluo._

_Petra._

_Alais._

_Only he and Eren remained. _

The wagons carrying the loads began to move, slowly at first then increasing in speed as the distance traveled increased.

_That lifeless body's hand twitched in the slightest._

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**_Quick note, when the italics with the saying, '...I love you' shows up it is not Levi saying it to Alais, it's Levi recalling when Alais had said that to him in the flashback awhile ago._**

**_Cheers._**


	39. Things don't seem like they're over

_**Got the chapters mixed up**_

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Each body had been wrapped by the time they stopped for rest. A single man carried one and a single wagon carried many- at least eight each. It was almost too _silent_, the loss too _great_ for anyone to comprehend and yet they _pushed_ forward, they pushed forward grudgingly and held their hope sparingly because they knew that they could only reserve it now, they could only hold it as tight as they could.

Yet it was quiet. _Why _was it so quiet? No tears fell, no sound of dismal, no sound at all. A lone figure stood away from them all, he didn't carry a body in his hand, he hadn't set one down with the rest because he had already-he carried one when he did and he set one down when she didn't breathe. _Away _from it all.

"How much longer?" He asked to the blond at his side. His fingers curled into his fist when pain shocked him, traveling from his ankle to the very tops of his fingertips.

"Not very long," The blond spoke, his voice trailing through the breeze like a whisper as he stared off into the distance ahead, "We're only here for rest then we set off again."

"Erwin," He called calmly when the blond man clenched his teeth and refused to look anywhere else, "Don't look so crappy, what would everyone else think?"

Erwin let out a slight chuckle and turned to the man at his side, easily towering over his form, "I'll try not to look crappy, Levi, so long as you stay off that ankle."

Levi scuffed and adverted his eyes as they narrowed, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Your limp says otherwise," Erwin let out a breath seeing a body of a short woman being lifted out of a wagon and placed onto the floor while someone grabbed a cloth to wrap her with as well as some rope, "I have something to do."

Levi watched him walk off blandly and resumed staring at the sky above him. Erwin casted him one last glance before walking towards the body and those wrapping it.

Reaching out a hand, Erwin stopped them and crouched to the ground that had begun to soak with blood, "I'll be taking a memorabilia for the deceased's family-_only family_."

Without waiting or needing permission, Erwin began to move pieces of night black hair away finding his nails grab onto some reminisces of blood, dried and not dried. He found himself questioning how it felt like to Levi having no one left. He'd seen the man cast his eyes away from the girl and never set his eyes on her since he dropped her body. Erwin wondered if he'd deny it, deny her ever being dead or like the many before him, simply forget as time goes on. He wondered about a lot of things before he unraveling the scarf, watching a face so similar yet so different from Levi's show itself for the last time.

"I apologize Alais," Erwin felt entitled to say this looking down to her frowning features, "Your sacrifice for humanity will not be forgotten as well as your aid."

He stood from the ground and left the body with one last nod to the two wrapping her as her scarf nestled itself in his hand.

"Levi," Erwin spoke standing behind Levi. Turning around Levi stared at Erwin with no notable look to his features and no light in his eyes, "I believe you are entitled to have this," Erwin stuck out his hand as the scarf fluttered in the wind, a comical yet depressing scene.

He watched Levi simply stare at that scarf in Erwin's hand for a long time. Face a passive dream. He stared at it for a very long time feeling some sort of hate for the past creep up behind him and wrap its hands around his throat. Levi adverted his eyes to his hand where a crest laid and clenched his fists around it before placing it in his pocket.

Taking a single glance at the scarf his eyes found themselves to the sky, a calming sensation releasing itself around him as his fists curled and the weight he held on his twisted ankle relaxed enough for his features to calm and his muscles to relax.

_Calming... _His eyelids fell halfway and the wind brushed his hair to the side with a quick movement. _Huh? I guess you are dead; nothing will change that._

He grabbed the scarf and moved off letting it hang lifelessly in his arms, "We're moving out," Levi stopped moving and nodded walking off to his horse without a second word.

It hadn't been long before they had gotten into a steady flow and the travel soon didn't feel any different from the many others that occurred, the dead count wasn't any different and the smell of decay was still there. _Nothing _was different. Levi, like many times before, kept his eyes forward and let nothing distract him not even the scarf around his neck, not even the patch in his pocket.

_Not Eren lying sick in a wagon._

_Not the pain in his ankle._

_Not the heat._

_Not the sound of protesting corps members._

_Not even the call of titans-_

_Titans? _Clenching his teeth Levi leaned forward on his horse urging it to go faster as the pounding of large feet hit the ground and an overbearing shadow was cast in various areas. _Why now? _

_Damn you all. _Gripping his reigns Levi guided his horse to the right glancing off to the side as he commanded a quick, "Don't."

With his body still leaning forward he ready to speak the one thing that many would never wish to say, but he knew, he knew that a dead body-dead bodies were worth nothing now; absolutely nothing, "Dump the bodies instead or it'll catch up to you," They couldn't afford to lose more because of stupid decisions.

"B-But!" One man protested looking as if he were ready to jump off like a fool and risk his life once opportunity was presented.

"There were hundreds of dead we weren't able to bring home before. Nothing makes these any more special." He knew he was right because the second someone was dead they fail to serve anymore purpose, they had no more need anymore and could never be the person they once were when they were alive.

"You'd do that?!" A man with brown hair called out as he gripped onto the grouped dead bodies, fist clenching and teeth clenched as well, "You'd really do that?!"

The other man at his side was torn, Levi didn't have to think or look twice to know but he wasn't the only one. Levi looked down before clenching his fists in anger, "Dammit," He hissed placing a hand on the leg that barred the injured ankle not knowing if he would be able to fight in the condition he was in.

"We have to!" With the final decision made, the wagon was opened and the first body was thrown to the ground, blood coating the blanket that it was wrapped in as it slammed to the ground only to be crushed under a titans foot.

Levi didn't tear his eyes away this time. Another body. Another body. Then, he watched the first of _them_ fall never to be seen again.

_Petra._

He urged himself to stop thinking emotionally and felt his eyebrows scrunch as they lowered narrowing his eyes anymore, the shadows casted and the curl of his lips the only sign that he could give because the second that happen another fell, unraveled itself and crashed into the ground with a large smack.

_Alais._

Was he only worried that no one would love him anymore? That no one would or ever could love him as much as Alais had? No one would give him coffee in the morning just like Petra had? No one would admire him as much as Oluo had? No one would be as uplifting as Gunther was? Could anyone be filled with such a strong sense of duty like Eld?

But it worked; He supposed that was all that mattered now, yet...

_Why did he think this wasn't the end._

* * *

**_Ignore the mistakes, got the chapters confused had to rush._**


	40. I'm sorry

_**I really need to watch how I organize things. Even if I'm sick.**_

* * *

"I'm sorry..." Eren felt the sweat roll down his temple and reach his cheeks as he spoke softly looking to the ground, "If I hadn't screwed up that time, you wouldn't be..."

Ah, Levi understood it now. Eren felt responsible for everything that had happened, every life that had been wasted and Levi's own injury. _When will this brat ever learn? _Curling his toes, Levi leaned back in the slightest as he placed the mug down yet still kept a hand on it.

"I've told you before," Levi reminded Eren as his eyes remained on the wall in front of him, one arm around the chair while the other just simple rested, "No one knows how things will turn out."

He supposed if he had to prove him saying this he would say that he spoke from experience. He hadn't known that it would be that last time he'd see his squad, the last time he'd see Alais. If he'd known maybe, like other humans, he would have tried to change the future selfishly. In a part deep within his mind, it was like Alais already knew she was going to die, after all Alais always knew when the worst of things would happen.

Eren held his hands together and set them on his lap, mouth open to say something else when he remembered something was missing, _someone_ felt _missing, _"Captain, how is Alais taking this all?" Eren adverted his eyes and let out a weak chuckle, "I mean she's always been distant but I...I wonder just how distant, I can't help but wonder if she warmed up to us all even if it was such a short time. Did you get to-Captain?" Eren froze feeling a cold drift travel down his spine and stop anything else he wanted to say. His eyes opened wide and his gaze felt shaken at the sight of the glare thrown his way, _why did it feel so...dead?_

"Not possible," He lifted the cup to his lips and drank hiding the frown that stretched across his lips. No one would fix that frown anymore.

"W-What do you mean?" Eren laughed in slight disbelief, "Y-You mean she's dead too?"

"As dead as someone without a pulse can be," It was the only response he gave accompanied by a single glance to the floor, hardened eyes peeking through black hair.

"A-And her body fell with the rest of them? But-" He swallowed feeling guilty that he'd taken away Levi's only sibling, only family. Eren had Mikasa as family yet Levi, who did Levi have now?

"But then...that can't be," He was in disbelief, disbelief that not even Levi would mourn for family, he'd thought that he would if Mikasa died Eren wouldn't know what to do yet here was Levi, perfectly _fine_.

_"Sometimes crying over something just isn't enough."_

* * *

**_I feel entitled to give you another chapter just because I screwed up the order._**

**_Cheers._**


	41. Sleepless Nights Part 1

_**I managed to do it-write this chapter.**_

_**So... Yep. The manga components are going to be included soon I just have to re-read them so I remember what's going on exactly. I do know that it will pick up when Renier and others kidnap Eren.**_

* * *

True to his word the man had not cried once. Levi hadn't the honour of feeling a burning sensation in his eyes as they watered forming droplets of fallen rain from the corner of his eyes, he viewed himself as unworthy. Unworthy as the devil being given a scripture and being told to do it without resolve-it just couldn't happen.

"'I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'," He didn't understand what swayed his mind to read the bible. He wasn't a religious man, in fact he found it just an everyday thing.

Even with him not being a religious man he couldn't help but be drawn to the bible he read at the moment. It was an overly lengthy one, years old by what he could tell and he had found it in a pile of _her _things. He had stood over it for longer than what was needed, questioning its very existence, why God wanted to shove religion in his face at his lowest time. Religion confused him.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart." He pondered that simple underlined sentence in his head realizing how much of Alais was displayed in that single piece. Alais couldn't be someone to look at someone's appearance alone for that would be hypocritical to herself. Alais was a simple Alais shrouded in a haze, she wasn't always there but when she was, she wasn't easy to make out.

Alais relied on the actions she could not speak, while Levi relied on the words he refused to put into action. As it felt like this it didn't seem like it to Levi, to him it felt like Alais looked at him deeper than any man nor woman could do and saw his heart, saw what he desired and wanted to give it to him. For the first time in his life, Alais wanted to give him something that would only belong to him and never take it away.

She failed. Levi felt his hands fall from the book in his hand, the bible placed in his hands finding its way to the floor and slamming against the ground with a loud thump but Levi didn't hear it. He numbly gazed at the wall in front of him as he sat on his bed a single candle illuminating the room he was in.

"How long did you wait?" He mumbled the words through a silent layer of emptiness, "Idiot." He cursed himself.

"No good," He hissed clenching his grip against the bedding, "Fucking," The profanity bleed from his mouth, "Useless friend."

"Why didn't you notice?" He chastised himself throwing back into the bed and inclosing the pillow around his ears in a useless effort to close off the world.

Healing skin.

Refusing to bite her thumb.

Knowing that you had to injure yourself to turn into a titan.

Knowing how to injure one when Hange could not.

_It's all a lie, _he denied, _if she was one of...them she would have been able to get out alive, she would be alive._

_**Go away. **_That glaring darkness and overshadowing candle irritated him more than he liked. Was this what it was like to be alone again? He didn't want to go back to a time long ago. No matter what someone might think being alone ate away at you, he would know. He was haunted by those thoughts.

_Is this the difference?_

_Why do I feel angry?_

_Do I not fit their needs?_

_Why are they so __**normal**__?_

_Why am I not allowed to be normal too?_

No. No. **Stop it**. He couldn't. He just couldn't. The constant need for him to be working overpowered any chance of him being like them. People relied on him too much that he hadn't realized what it felt like to be normal in years.

Why? Alais came in and a feeling of simplicity crept up to his heart. It was almost as if he were _allowed_ to feel _normal_ around her. Like they could be their own secret, special all by themselves. As much as she loved him and as much as he just lived with her there. Erwin. It was all his fault again. His choices, his decisions.

Levi felt his face blaze in contained fury the second his eyes snapped open realizing that he had closed them. With a small 'Tch' he shifted to cradle his sprained ankle hissing when his muscles contracted.

"You'll get what you deserve Erwin," The man spoke monotonously, "After all, Karma isn't a bitch for nothing."

Swinging his feet painfully over the side of his bed he craned his spine and slumped for a millisecond before retaining his posture. Hopping on one leg-reluctantly-he walked to stand in front of the eye level mirror placed in his dingy bathroom, shutting the door behind him as he faced the mirror tiredly.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall," His voice melded into a monotonous melody as the keys on a piano harmonized with the bland, flat tone, "You're so, _empty._"

"I don't regret it," He argued to the mirror even though nothing had spoken and his statement was still unanswered, "I'm just a little _sad_, regrettably."

He stared at his reflection realizing how empty it was. The mirror wasn't reflecting _him _who was it reflected? A shell, empty and hopeless-the mirror wasn't empty, he was. Where are you?

Just a memory. He tried to remember good days, bad days; moments of peace, moments of destruction. He saw an empty street and an unforgettable figure walking in a slump. He shut his eyes. He remembered. He spoke to the mirror of a time when the amount of food shortened and when the sun had shone too brightly one day and his mother didn't let him go out. 'It's a fire out there, and you are the main dish' or at least something like that. He spoke softer now about the day he met _her _and her eagerness to teach him something new. He hummed as he clutched the side of the sink and lulled out the story of the black rose and what it led to.

When he opened his eyes, peace was gone and reality mocked him. He forgot, "_Go_ to sleep."

He ended up not sleeping that night.

* * *

**_Levi doesn't actually mean Erwin will get what he deserves physically he just means mentally. It's almost as if its anger without thinking I just find it's ironic knowing what will happen soon to Erwin. Checked over this chapter a couple of times but I'm sure mistakes managed to hide themselves from me so just ignore them._**

_**Cheers.**_


	42. Sleepless Nights Part 2 The outcome

_**Drama, drama, drama, and more drama. **_

* * *

A body grunted as they emerged from the nape of the fallen titan form, yelping when hot stem nicked their skin. Huffing the figure got to work quickly as the nights sky casted a shadow less surrounding exhaustion practically oozing from the figures form. Ruffling short blonde hair, the male moved quickly against the moist ground, crouching when he came to a form wrapped in a bloody cloth.

Hesitantly, the boy grabbed the body and lifted it in his arms with a slight grunt as the body fell back on his own. Huffing a breath once more he moved his feet silently on the ground until he came across a small cabin across the clearly shrouded in tall giant trees.

"Smells like shit," The blonde coughed drying to shield his mouth from the smell of animal feces knowing it was the only way to ward off the titans and mask the smell of human.

Just as he was going to reach over to grab the doorknob the sound of dragging feet, large and thunderous made him freeze in his step trying to be as unseen as he could be. Gulping the blonde turned his head slightly as he gritted his teeth. _Come on, come on, come on you Titan-shit move! _He chanted in his head watching the sluggish titan travel across the lands with its tongue hanging out of his mouth like a hungry tired puppy.

The blonde man felt the hair on the back of his neck stick up the second the energy deprived titan turned its head around with a tilt of its head in his direction. Cursing the blonde stayed in his place as he counted the second the titan just stared at him before feeling the tension escape him the second it turned its head back around and walked off.

Opening the door carefully, the blonde male made his way towards a single small and thin bed at the corner of the room setting down the body he held in his hand. For a moment the blonde man simply stared at the body with apprehension and slight worry for his own safety. If you had to ask him, Reiner that is, he wouldn't know why he was doing this. All he knew is that _she_ couldn't be dead, titan shifters took longer than a measly titan to take them down. Plus, _her_ heart, if it was damaged would have began to repair itself. _The wonders of being a monster. _Reiner thought with bitterness.

When her hand twitched Reiner felt himself jump back in shock not knowing if she would wake up now, or later. Wishing that he didn't need to be there when she would wake up fueled him to exit the cabin in a hurry. _I'm not in the mood to die. _

With a groan the bloodied body shifted and crashed to the floor, air, what little was there, escaping their lungs. Irritated the figure placed their palms uneasily on the wooden ground and ignored the wood chips that pierced their skin. Long black hair spilled out from the cover around her body and tangled itself in her fingertips. Pushing the hair out of her way the person on the ground lost her hold and fell back to the ground, her forehead slapping against the ground.

Struggling to stand up her efforts were unheard when her body crashed down to the ground and her legs twisted in a painful angle, "Not good."

Slumping back to the ground, the girl only choose to stare up in the ceiling when her eyes suddenly narrowed and a painful truth hit her across the face, "No one," She muttered, "Will come," She concluded craning her neck higher as her body constricted.

Tilting her head to the side the woman caught a slight shift in the smell of the putrid cabin, "Reiner?" Pondering it over the woman's gaze fell into a tired blank state, "They all run in the end."

"Alais doesn't need you all," She murmured to herself as she pushed her body up tiredly, her legs being dragged against the ground till she made it to the foot of the bed deciding to lean on it for now, "-I'll mourn now."

She mourned in silence for the emptiness that the room gave her and the crushed hope she held that allowed itself to shrivel up and die. She didn't cry, Alais didn't shed a tear. Alais only grabbed her feet and positioned themselves in a painful angle, an angle that she had grown use to sitting in. Air escaped her lips and the cold chapped them to a dry state when she tiredly stuck her gaze to the wall ahead of her.

She could feel uncommon eyes of amber stare at her. It took her a while to realize that they felt like her mothers eyes and wondered if her mother could see her daughter in such a painful state, refusing to admit to being alone, refusing to admit it hurt.

Had her dreams come to an end? Alais refused to bathe in the painful reminiscences of what she was given. Hate infested her mind and caused her mouth to taste stale and mind to blank out completely. She wondered where she had gone, where had everyone else gone. Curling into a ball Alais quivered and screwed her eyes shut tighter than she should have.

"Wake up," She chanted to herself, "Wake up," Placing a quivering hand to her hair she gripped the strands tighter, "It's not _real_," She could feel the stutter in her tone and the denial it cried to fuel it, "He'll _come_," Her eyes watery, opened but nothing fell out.

_She wondered what it felt like to be held by someone. _The prospect of being left alone was something that she didn't want to come to terms with. With a slow uneven tone she spent a few moments-maybe even an hour chanting that she wasn't alone even though the fact where straight.

_She was alone when she was with him_

_She was alone when she wasn't with him_

_She was alone when she breathed_

_She was alone when her mother cooed sweet words in her ear as a child_

_She was alone when Lu laughed_

_She was alone, everyday, every moment of every second_

Alais huddled herself into a ball, lips bruising because she had chewed on it too much. She didn't understand what to feel but she knew what clouded her mind, hate. She hated everything. What if she had a choice? She couldn't think of the outcome if she was allowed to choose her fate. Coughing loudly, a sticky thick red substance coated her fingertips and bled into her nails. Grasping her stomach Alais curled tighter into a ball, staggering as she tried to breathe with eyes an angry, pained blaze of coal.

_It's the prospect that we're all born innocent at birth._

Gritting her teeth Alais distracted herself trying to think of anything but the only thoughts that clouded her were ones of malice.

_But at some point,_

She understood without thinking. Numbness didn't allow her to think much about anything. Agonizing mental pain ate away at her. Had she been that foolish? Mother couldn't hold her anymore, father never held her, and her only friend; she staggered trying to breathe.

_some become evil._

Alais' breathing began to deepen the more she tried to control it with her eyes wide in rage an uncontrollable state of mind attacked her in a silent, yet cunning way.

_Evilness even plagues good people, turning them into monsters._

She tried to find her release, her grounding. Alais searched her mind, over and over again but all she found was a blank state of fury that denied being contained, tempting her to push her hate in a direction that she had known all too well, _The military police_; _The King_.

_Most wish to believe that, in the end,_

Gripping the hardwood between her frail hands, Alais growled deeply in her throat.

_the good will win._

"Nothing," She hissed, hands leaving a trail of blood on the ground, "Will stop me. No. One," Something foreign escaped her lips, bouncing off her eardrums and echoing itself in the lonely room, "And I know exactly _who_ to start with."

She ended up not going to sleep that night.

* * *

**_I was waiting for the development of Alais' character to come to this. It's been a long road but if you carefully look this moment was being built up from the beginning with subtle hints. This is more like a message that even the good-est of the good can become evil. The quote used in this chapter was perfect for this moment, a moment of realization and understanding when it comes to the human condition and how fragile it is. I wanted to show that even if Alais is a character who doesn't understand emotion, it doesn't mean that she doesn't have it. Now that she's being exposed to it lately it'll be a huge impact on her and sometimes I even wonder if it was the reason that Alais came to this point in her life. Even with her being like this it doesn't affect the fact that, yes, she will distance herself from attachment because she feels like its her only protection. _**

Who do you think is the someone Alais is starting with?

Hint: It has something to do with The Uprising Arc

**_Cheers._**


	43. Mistake

**I've been busy with a lot of stuff but I did manage to fit in writing a chapter for you all. I did have another chapter prepared but after reading over it I decided to write another chapter to replace it. This fanfiction is going to come to an end soon.**

* * *

_It was clear to him that he couldn't tell the difference between a dream or reality anymore. He'd see daily life as a nightmare that he just couldn't wake up from and when a dream came along he lost himself in it. He shrugged away most things into a corner when those dreams came along just to feel what happiness was. He never noticed that in doing that, he could be foolish, he could act irrationally yet make his future more better because he'd never have to be alone anymore._

_"Life is something entirely spontaneous."_

He remembered dreams like this where he could freely call it a dream because it was so mystifying, so fulfilling that he just couldn't help himself; dreams of peace. His hands were overlapping hers for some strange reason-no, hers were overlapping his. His breath came out in soft puffs of air, breathing as controlled as it had always been but hers was large pants of uneasy air.

He wondered if it was a sickness; he thought of her a lot. So when her hand left his and replaced itself on his cheek he didn't find anything wrong with it. His mouth wouldn't move and he didn't feel like he could speak. The confidence of his breath were shaking the more her thumb brushed against his cheek. He leaned away but she just placed her other hand on his face.

"Bask it in, love," Her voice was chilling, a metallic sound and it was painful, "You need this and it won't last forever."

_She's right_, he agreed though not accepting the fact that he needed _anything_ from _her_. He stopped moving and instead watched her mouth words to him but not speaking them. Then, her face was closer to his and she whispered more words that he couldn't hear. _You're Levi, _he reminded himself, _this isn't Levi_. Then, he felt the need to question what was Levi? So he stopped altogether. He allowed his eyes to shut tight and burn away the thoughts of Titans, but just as they had always done, they came back. Yet they were quieter now, as if they were being subdued.

"You're welcome," Alais' lips were curled into a smug-ish grin, corners upturned and eyes burning into his when they opened.

The question of how clean her hands were burned into his mind as the fact of germs penetrated his mind causing him to push her hands away from him. It was like she knew, but in the most un-Alais way possible she made it known to him.

"I'm clean, _physically_," Almost in a vice-like grip she pulled him back to her, this time, more gently, almost painfully.

He felt her shift before leaning her head closer to him, in the last moment before her breath could hit his, her head fell to his neck and stayed there for a while, "You smell like soap," Alais murmured uncharacteristically rubbing her nose on his neck making him snarl silently.

He snarled because he felt something warm invade him. He thought of her breath that was making his neck heat up uncomfortably making him shift. If she didn't notice it then, then she noticed it the minute after.

"Ever _so_ squeamish," A breathily sigh left her lips as they rested on a flat line making their way to his face again.

She was level with him again. At the moment like this, he questioned why he had drank as much as he had. Maybe it was the thoughts of the dead Pastor Nick who now ruined every chance they had. Maybe drunkenness bled into dreams too? Sure as hell he wouldn't be doing-letting any of this happen if he wasn't drunk.

"Now," She whispered with half-closed eyes, "Don't look down on me," It felt like she was breathing on him now, the whisper of her words making his drunk mind swirl in thought. The lightness of the air thanks to the glasses beyond glasses that he had so foolishly drank.

_Never. _His Picasso-like mind murmured without a word. Arms calloused and smooth wrapped themselves around him loosely, comfortingly.

All in one single movement, his mind was blurred and something soft placed itself to his cheek, then forehead, and brushed against his nose. Foreign as it was warm. He moved forward without a sense of direction and thought, eloping the warmth that he was being given.

"Slow shit," He spoke for the first time, voice slurred as the tip of his tongue felt numb. His voice was being muffled by something else though and he realized how familiar yet unfamiliar it felt.

It was teeth clicking and nauseating. His hands were numb at his sides, yet they clenched against something cotton and smooth. He ignored the feeling of dread that encircled his thoughts at the moment of bliss. This was all new to him, but he didn't want it to end. His body moved on its own accord dragging her down with him, in a single moment of thought, he felt the thickness of the air around them and the stuttering silence.

The creak of the door to his room caused his eyes to open but only look in the direction of the sound. He feared that if he turned away from her now, she'd be gone the next second and he'd awake from this dream. Who was invading his dream? The question caused him to feel a different sort of anger, curiously it almost seemed like he was observing this new type of anger.

The sound of the door stopped. His eyes slowly shut again, breathing through his nose and shifting to feel more comfortable. He would allow his drunken state to bask in human reaction, not for her but for his mental health, for the sure reason of relief through _anything_. Stretching his hand over to the nightstand he grudgingly pushed towards the candle without stopping, instead he stopped the luminous light and let the room sink into darkness, letting his dream take control.

_He was too blinded. He didn't notice the horrid look behind Alais' eyes and the way her words curled when she spoke. He couldn't take back his actions till the outcome of them all came by one day, in a small bundle of hope._

* * *

**This chapter was a lighthearted way to say 'childbirth-the beginning of it all' in fancy letters. I'm a highschool student who cringes at the words 'person' and 'touching' so feel proud. For all those reading this chapter and ask where the hell is the warning, what warning would you need? This is like the 20th century tranquilized.**

_Who do you think was at the door? I'll give you a hint, starts with an H and is a titan lover. Told you she'll find out...ha..._

**Cheers.**


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